Dark Phoenix Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 If someone is going to leave me for someone else, relationship, marriage or not, with or without manipulation on either parties part, I will wish them on their merry way. If they are going to be happier or love someone more then me then I will go out and find someone that can return the same amount of love I can give them. There's a saying in the real world... All's fair in love and war 1
2sunny Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 If someone is going to leave me for someone else, relationship, marriage or not, with or without manipulation on either parties part, I will wish them on their merry way. If they are going to be happier or love someone more then me then I will go out and find someone that can return the same amount of love I can give them. There's a saying in the real world... All's fair in love and war And karma will bring you what you deserve...
Zahara Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 If someone is going to leave me for someone else, relationship, marriage or not, with or without manipulation on either parties part, I will wish them on their merry way. If they are going to be happier or love someone more then me then I will go out and find someone that can return the same amount of love I can give them. There's a saying in the real world... All's fair in love and war This is about Searchin and her actions. It's NOT about the ex and it's NOT about the wife wishing him on his merry way. All's fair in love and war is wonderful but at least have a conscience and a moral compass. This makes me sick.
Dark Phoenix Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 This is about Searchin and her actions. It's NOT about the ex and it's NOT about the wife wishing him on his merry way. All's fair in love and war is wonderful but at least have a conscience and a moral compass. This makes me sick. Right, she has done nothing wrong except express her feelings on a forum and self talk where everyone BLASTS her and tells her how she feels and what she wants to do is wrong. Are you kidding me? This is manipulation at its finest. Do you ever wonder why everyone of you posting in this thread is single now? Try this response Like I said earlier you are projecting your emotional wounds onto HER and her EX is the one committing the crimes
Zahara Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) Right, she has done nothing wrong except express her feelings on a forum and self talk where everyone BLASTS her and tells her how she feels and what she wants to do is wrong. Are you kidding me? This is manipulation at its finest Like I said earlier you are projecting your emotional wounds onto HER and her EX is the one committing the crimes And you're condoning and supporting her interfering in a marriage just because your friends chose to stray and so now it's acceptable. It's a reflection of your sense of integrity. It's not manipulation. It's stating basic human decency. Again, a married man needs an accomplice to cheat. She can say no because she will not be part of the crime and walk away. Or she can choose to drive the getaway car. And how do you know everyone posting on this thread is single? Bananas. Edited May 26, 2012 by Zahara
Dark Phoenix Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 And you're condoning and supporting her interfering in a marriage just because your friends chose to stray and so now it's acceptable. It's a reflection of your sense of integrity. It's not manipulation. It's stating basic human decency. Again, a married man needs an accomplice to cheat. She can say no because she will not be part of the crime and walk away. Or she can choose to drive the getaway car. These are your personal boundaries... this is where you projecting your beliefs boundaries is actually selfish. These don't have to be her or mine or gina's or wilsons or gibsons or anyone else on the forum. If you dont respect her beliefs even though they may differ from your own, then that is your problem, not hers or mine or her ex's. Not everyone is the same and has the same beliefs. I agree with what your saying but if I were in her shoes I would do the same things she's doing and there's NO wrong in that for me. How I choose to live my life is my business. How you choose to live your life is your business. How she chooses to live her life is her business. 1
2sunny Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 These are your personal boundaries... this is where you projecting your beliefs boundaries is actually selfish. These don't have to be her or mine or gina's or wilsons or gibsons or anyone else on the forum. If you dont respect her beliefs even though they may differ from your own, then that is your problem, not hers or mine or her ex's. Not everyone is the same and has the same beliefs. I agree with what your saying but if I were in her shoes I would do the same things she's doing and there's NO wrong in that for me. How I choose to live my life is my business. How you choose to live your life is your business. How she chooses to live her life is her business. Oh I get it now. You are including the group that believes in grass is greener syndrome... Ahahaha - the one that doesn't want to accept that the person that left you may not actually like you enough to have stayed in the relationship. GIGS is your illusion that they want to come back = not accepting the reality of what has happened actually means something = that they are DONE. It makes sense now - you guys are like a cult here on LS.
Zahara Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) These are your personal boundaries... this is where you projecting your beliefs boundaries is actually selfish. These don't have to be her or mine or gina's or wilsons or gibsons or anyone else on the forum. If you dont respect her beliefs even though they may differ from your own, then that is your problem, not hers or mine or her ex's. Not everyone is the same and has the same beliefs. I agree with what your saying but if I were in her shoes I would do the same things she's doing and there's NO wrong in that for me. How I choose to live my life is my business. How you choose to live your life is your business. How she chooses to live her life is her business. She has posted her story and we've all come on here to give her a dose of reality and shine the light on a healthier perspective. Harsh or not, she can take it any way she likes it. You're affected because your mindset is like Searchin's and you're defensive, for her and for yourself. And I am sure you've come on here many a time and preached your gospel. If that's the way you live your life, then you're perfect for giving advice to Searchin. This is not what life is all about for me and those that find this behavior unhealthy and destructive. Good luck. And this "GIGS" knows no boundaries. And maybe my advice should have started with, "Yes, it's great that you are sexting a married man..." I will leave that to you. Edited May 26, 2012 by Zahara
2sunny Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 When you gals get married some day and you come here complaining that some gal is flirting with your husband - it will be a far stretch to feel sorry for your situation.
Author Searchin81 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 It's true. He might just not want me. Maybe was no Gigs. But he did say he regretted everything, maybe he doesn't feel that way now. I feel like getting a rebound lol I understand the need now to fill a void!
Dark Phoenix Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 So.... you are the only one that can be right here huh? People that have experienced, gone through, or lost someone due to gigs can't have a say or their voice cant be heard or their feelings have to be shoved inside of them and not spoken because of a conscience/moral compass. Her actions are no different then mine or any other person that has gone through what you call GIGS. Did her ex leave his marriage? Did she tell him she loved him? The answer is no. She expressed her feelings and the ball is in her ex's court.
Dark Phoenix Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 I feel like getting a rebound lol I understand the need now to fill a void! get engaged in 3 months too =)
Author Searchin81 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 I'm not nuts lol that's mentally unhealthy lol in my book
Author Searchin81 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 Lol I guess sunny thinks its normal to get engaged after 3 months
2sunny Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Lol I guess sunny thinks its normal to get engaged after 3 months I don't think there really is any "normal" in life. You are giving me evidence of that... 1
gibson Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 This thread has gone off the rails! Here is my take... 1. The Ex is already emotionally cheating on his wife. 2. He is flirting with OP all day long at work. 3. He is doing it behind his Wifes back. 4. He is increasing the frequency of his contact that he initiates. 5. He is going to keep doing it. 6. He will probably walk this "thing" up to the cliff and more than likely fall off of it. 7. The OP doesn't care about the wife. 8. The OP doesn't care about him being married. 9. The OP and the Ex are not listening to a single thing any of you are saying. 10. There is nothing any of us can do to stop this. My advice... Grab a popcorn and a soda, pick out a good seat, don't forget silence is golden and be prepared for a good show. It's going to be a wild and bumpy ride! 4
2sunny Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Just as I don't think "it's normal" to degrade yourself by begging this guy to pay attention to you. IF he intended to love you - he would have married YOU - but he didn't. What a man DOES means something - and he didn't marry YOU. What he SAYS or TEXTS now is beside the point. His actions showed that he wanted to marry the other gal. That should be enough for any healthy gal to move forward. But all the begging and justifying you are doing is only making you look pathetic to him. 3
Author Searchin81 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) Is obviously all very complicated. So much can be analyzed and interpreted. Unfortunately it's all very muddled. Does anyone here have a clear path or directions on how something like this should occur? Is there any clean organized way? As Shakespeare said centuries ago... "The course of true love never did run smooth " The man was onto something 500 years ago...and it still proves true today, Edited May 26, 2012 by Searchin81
Sugarkane Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 I think if he married this woman too soon, he's got no one to blame but himself. To the OP if he loves you so much why didn't he just marry you in the first place? if he emotionally cheats on his wife now, would you be able to trust him, if you did get back together? Quite frankly it's pretty dumb marrying a rebound. 1
favoritepills Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) Grab a popcorn and a soda, pick out a good seat, don't forget silence is golden and be prepared for a good show. It's going to be a wild and bumpy ride! Yep! LOL, this thread is Popcorn City. I probably shouldn't bother, since OP's only going to hear what she wants to hear, but if you add the following up... 1. Ex doesn't really initiate much, OP does most of the talking 2. Ex said "You're a great person" - DOOM! 3. OP has to really dig in the past for bits and pieces, hoping it means he still loves her. No evidence from the present. 4. Ex is now using her for sexual attention. = OP is circling the drain. At best she can be his piece on the side, but it's not love. She played games, she messed up, that ship has sailed. Even on the very offhand chance that he leaves his wife for her, I'll bet you dollars to donuts the relationship's going to crash and burn for all the reasons it ended before, because she clearly hasn't made much emotional progress ("He was mine first!" "She stole him from me!" "I'm prettier than her!" and other childish words), and neither has he. So yeah... *popcorn* Edited May 26, 2012 by favoritepills 1
Author Searchin81 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 I never said he loved me, he obviously hasn't said that recently.
AsItIs Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Favorite pills summed it up perfectly.Popcorn city is right! 1
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