2sunny Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Sorry it's true.. If I could post photos here I would. Why would I like. He most defiantly sent me sexual text messages the content of which would be to explicit to type here. How he was at work and giving I'm an erection. Ect. And how he wished he could do things ect... Today around he sent a message.. With hey xxxxx(my nickname), that's all it said.. So I asked how he was. And it went from there Facts: You dated It didn't work then He moved on He got married Now you decide to flirt You know he's married So now sexting And YOU think this is a good thing?
Author Searchin81 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 However I do feel like giving up. He knows how I feel. I can't take this emotional rollercoaster ride. I have no idea what he feels about me, or his marriage as he didn't say much about anything.
2sunny Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 It's designed so it looks like you are interacting. But if he's only using one word responses - you are essentially talking to yourself.
Zahara Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 A married man needs an accomplice to cheat. This man and you are equally, morally corrupt and emotionally damaged. If he's unhappy in his marriage, he's looking at you as a scratching post. A little escape. You consider sexting healthy attention when it's a man basically objectifying you so that he can get a hard-on while the wife is not looking. If he's happy in his marriage and still looking for a scratching post, even more disturbing. You should find a moral compass and a conscience. Or at least the ability to have standards for yourself. Empathy is the ability to place yourself in someone else's shoes in hopes of understanding the feelings of another. For just 10 seconds, imagine your husband was doing this behind your back. How would you feel? Or do you not care for the feelings of others because you're too consumed by what you want and need and come hell or high water, you'll get what you want at any cost?
Author Searchin81 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 It's designed so it looks like you are interacting. But if he's only using one word responses - you are essentially talking to yourself. No he not just using one word answers, but not detailed either.
2sunny Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 A married man needs an accomplice to cheat. This man and you are equally, morally corrupt and emotionally damaged. If he's unhappy in his marriage, he's looking at you as a scratching post. A little escape. You consider sexting healthy attention when it's a man basically objectifying you so that he can get a hard-on while the wife is not looking. If he's happy in his marriage and still looking for a scratching post, even more disturbing. You should find a moral compass and a conscience. Or at least the ability to have standards for yourself. Empathy is the ability to place yourself in someone else's shoes in hopes of understanding the feelings of another. For just 10 seconds, imagine your husband was doing this behind your back. How would you feel? Or do you not care for the feelings of others because you're too consumed by what you want and need and come hell or high water, you'll get what you want at any cost? Yay! This is GOOD!!!
2sunny Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 No he not just using one word answers, but not detailed either. You have willingly degraded yourself to substandards. Congratulations - you got what you wished for!
Author Searchin81 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 Sunny u sound so hateful, i wouldn't even take ur advice.. Sounds like you have a vendetta...and bias opinions. 1
Zahara Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Sunny u sound so hateful, i wouldn't even take ur advice.. Sounds like you have a vendetta...and bias opinions. The only advice you will take and consider unbiased is what supports your efforts to get what you want. So, the need to seek "advice" is futile because your sense of entitlement only wants to hear what you want to hear. Now, that's biased. 1
Author Searchin81 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 Na I appreciate well balanced advice. Sunny is just all anti me advice lol without even mentioning his crazy behaviors.
2sunny Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Sunny u sound so hateful, i wouldn't even take ur advice.. Sounds like you have a vendetta...and bias opinions. I honor truth! Nothing is hateful about that! You must be referring to yourself. What YOU are participating in is very hateful. Ask his WIFE - see if she approves of you sending sexy texts back and forth. THAT would require YOU being honest though... You must be hating yourself to be doing this to YOu.
2sunny Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Na I appreciate well balanced advice. Sunny is just all anti me advice lol without even mentioning his crazy behaviors. I'm working from your sense of crazy! Your perception is OFF!
Author Searchin81 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 Be gone sunny, you'll have no power here.. Your wasting your time typing now. Your obviously very wounded. Instead of being helpful you seem to have knives out. Please don't post if u wanna cut people up.
2sunny Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 Be gone sunny, you'll have no power here.. Your wasting your time typing now. Your obviously very wounded. Instead of being helpful you seem to have knives out. Please don't post if u wanna cut people up. Not cutting anyone - YOU are doing that to yourself beautifully! I'm trying to tell YOU to stop doing it to yourself! You're making a fool of yourself! Seriously - my friend used to show me his messages from gals like you and just laugh his a$$ off at how stupid they were to seek his attention. Yes, it's ego!
Dark Phoenix Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) There is nothing wrong with what shes doing. Just because your friend acts one way, doesnt mean her ex acts that way. Her and her ex understand love. They understand that its possible to love more then one person at a time. You see things as black and white and you are afraid to look in the mirror and accept change or that things may differ in the ways of others. Everyone's view on what a relationship/marriage etc is different. Its not our place to tell her her actions are right or wrong. Either be a cheerleader for her, let her find out on her own and move on. This is the problem with this forum, if you were to go out in the real world, people wait, enter relationships and even marriages for an ex to come back all the time. Just because it doesnt agree with your personal views doesnt mean its wrong or someone needs therapy. And 2sunny, you are very wounded. Please get some help Edited May 26, 2012 by Dark Phoenix
Zahara Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 he contacts her! he is seeking her attention! There is the ability to say no because you have a conscience and a moral compass. It doesn't matter who is seeking whom when two people are enabling dishonesty and feeding off each other. Equally bad on both parts. If someone said s*** tasted good, would you eat it? You have the ability to have boundaries and standards that fall in line with knowing what's wrong and right.
2sunny Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 There is nothing wrong with what shes doing. Just because your friend acts one way, doesnt mean her ex acts that way. Her and her ex understand love. They understand that its possible to love more then one person at a time. You see things as black and white and you are afraid to look in the mirror and accept change or that things may differ in the ways of others. Everyone's view on what a relationship/marriage etc is different. Its not our place to tell her her actions are right or wrong. Either be a cheerleader for her, let her find out on her own and move on. This is the problem with this forum, if you were to go out in the real world, people wait, enter relationships and even marriages for an ex to come back all the time. Just because it doesnt agree with your personal views doesnt mean its wrong or someone needs therapy. And 2sunny, you are very wounded. Please get some help These are words of someone who doesn't consider how actions affect others. You seem to have no conscience. Telling her she's doing something right is completely a$$ backwards when you're encouraging her to help him cheat. I pity all of you supporting this poster - something inside of you all is terribly broken.
Author Searchin81 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 I probably will never get him back. It's wishful thinking.. How i wish I could though.. Not gonna lie. I lost a lot. And it breaks my heart. I still love him, probably always will. I would be happy even maintaining a friendship with him. I wish I did that because now its probably never going to happen. I could have at least made a best friend out of it if I did things diffently, now I'll probably only get to speak with him through occasional text...if that. I'm just not to hopeful right now. I really have no idea what to think of how to feel. I just can't Belive how much it hurts after all these years.
Dark Phoenix Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 There is the ability to say no because you have a conscience and a moral compass. It doesn't matter who is seeking whom when two people are enabling dishonesty and feeding off each other. Equally bad on both parts. If someone said s*** tasted good, would you eat it? You have the ability to have boundaries and standards that fall in line with knowing what's wrong and right. Black and white view while for you its perfectly fine... I have friends who tell their opposite sex friends that they love them even though they are married. There is no dishonesty here, none, zero, zilch.
2sunny Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 he contacts her! he is seeking her attention! And she has the choice to act APPROPRIATELY by NOT responding AT ALL!
Author Searchin81 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 Well.. Look at Prince Charles and Camilla, they probably have one of the greatest love stories.... Both married others, lost each other, divorced, and had to battle a whole country to share their true love, and finally married after many years and obstacles. Wow good of them
Dark Phoenix Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) You will be fine searchin... these people will never understand love the way you and i do Marriage isnt the end game... Edited May 26, 2012 by Dark Phoenix
Author Searchin81 Posted May 26, 2012 Author Posted May 26, 2012 You think I did the right thing by telling him my feelings dark?
Zahara Posted May 26, 2012 Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) Black and white view while for you its perfectly fine... I have friends who tell their opposite sex friends that they love them even though they are married. There is no dishonesty here, none, zero, zilch. This is not about black and white. This is about having a conscience. This is about having empathy. This is about having standards. This is about having boundaries. Understanding that a married man will have to face his own demons while you step away and let him find what he needs and wants within his life. You don't motivate him to leave his marriage. He does that on his own without your influence. It's about respecting his marriage, whether it's a farce or not because you understand that it's much bigger than you and it's a union between the ex and his wife. You stay out of it. It's about understanding that you will never want someone doing the same thing to you and realizing that it's not just about Searchin and a horny ex but there is another person involved. Who gives a s*** whether your friends tell others that they love them although they are married. It doesn't make it right and it doesn't condone supporting immoral and unhealthy behavior just because people choose to cheat. Advice here is not about her ex. This is about Searchin and her actions and what would be in her best interest and that is to leave a married man to deal with dynamics of his marriage on his own. If he comes to her without manipulation on her part, with divorce papers in hand, then she can have a clean conscience and know that she had nothing to do with demise of his marriage. If you have to manipulate and hide, enough said. If anyone is black and white, it is you. There is a larger picture than your married friends saying I love you to other people. I will have to say you are destructive. I can't even believe you state that there is no dishonesty. That in itself is disturbing. Edited May 26, 2012 by Zahara
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