kimeebee Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 It's as though I've just been told my partner of 15 years is dead. There is an age gap of almost 20 years...lets get that part out of the way even though I believe aga is a number. For the first 3 years I tried desperately to push him away obviously wanting him to find someone his own age but he never gave up and I finally learned he really did love me and to trust him. We had a deep loving relationship, I utterly idolised him...extremely rare that we argued we really were best friends. It was approx 10 days ago when he literally overnight became distant, no emotion just talking but cold. He rarely left my side after work so an affair just didn't add up. Eventually he told me that he loved me but wasn't in love with me, said I can't force him to love me and that he was very unhappy and had lost the best 15 years of his life!! I unfortunately begged him not to leave me, he was adamant he was going and was desperate to remain friends. I said no, there was no way I could see him with another woman to which he just responded that he wouldn't rub it in my face!!! He said he wants to travel, enjoy life and I was very hurt because I had urged him many times to go and enjoy life with people his own age. When he left he was really upset, said it was the hardest thing he had ever had to do in life and loved me! Then he just walked out of the door and left me, distraught. I can't eat, sleep...don't see the point of even living to be honest but most of all I feel so drained, worthless and I am not coping at all.
Mr Scorpio Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I am so sorry to hear that this has happend to you. Why does it always have to be so sudden? There is one part you've got wrong though. You are coping, because you are here pouring your heart out, and we will be here to listen and offer support. Keep posting, even if it is the same story over and over. 2
eles83 Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 *hugs* Although I know that my 5 years don't quite compare to 15, I think I know how you feel... the not eating, the not sleeping, the feeling like crud, the inability to function and desire to be anywhere else but in your own shoes... I wish I knew how to fix us. I wish I knew how to make it better. I believe it can get better though. I mean, there are a lot of people who have been through it and survived... and come out happy, on the other side. In the meantime, an understanding ear, I think, is the best thing to have - and people around here always seem ready to listen and help (myself included!) 1
stlangie Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Blah. I'm sorry you're going through this. Just know that you are not alone, and that others on here are managing to find their way, just like you will. Time to realize your own strength!! I've found that reading other posts on this website gives me hope that one day I'll wake up, and my situation won't be the first thing I think of. Believe me, it does get easier!
Author kimeebee Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 Thank you all for being so understanding, sorry for your sadness but it makes me feel stronger just knowing you are there! 1
pattyfromMV Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I,m not sure where to start , my husband of 11 years and where having marital problems but decided to try to work things out , 3 days after he says he's having an affair with my best friend. I felt like he killed me with having an affair m but with her. I went crazy and yelled broke his laptop into pieces. She found out he wanted to come back and went off her rocker , started texing me ,forwarding all the love text and declaration for their love. This hurt like a MF. This went all all night with her texting , I had only limited reply to her because I was in a state of shock. She kept calling and texting him desperately to forgive her she wasn't going to let him go. Just when things couldn't get worse he confesses that she had gotten pregnant but lost the baby 3 months into it. he killed me again with that news. while she was pegnant we all continued to go out and she came to my home to celebrate my bday and his at 2months pregnant. Neither said a thing but the looks and attention was there. I new something was up but couldn't prove it.He started sleeping on the couch and stayed there for 3months until all hell broke loose.S he has left to Puerto Rico in the last days but claims she is pregnant for a second time. My husband says no way !!!!!!!! I don't know how to deal with this I am extemely hurt , embarrased , and have lost all trust. Her family and kids knew but didn't come forward. I feel I was played by her and he was reeled in a trap, not justifying him no one put a gun to his head,put she played us good. I feel she wanted my life , and had jealousy and resentment toward me. I see the hurt and pain in my husband eyes ,I didn't let him leave but I'm having a hard time working this out in my head.To top things off i cry when he holds me tight in his arms and we end up making love like never before, don't know why but i feel i need to feel him close and thats he's mine . Can some give me some sane advice , any one been here before? I want to save my marriage but not sure how to cope. feel I'm going crazy.
lynbetz Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 If you love him like you say you do you need to read up on some books and find a way to make you irresistible and make him have all of those feelings for you again! You can do it!
ToyWithMe812 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 (edited) If you love him like you say you do you need to read up on some books and find a way to make you irresistible and make him have all of those feelings for you again! You can do it! First of all, very sorry for your loss, both times, kimeebee. Now. What a crock. Listen, you do not need to read any self improvement books, if you want to fine. If you want to read some novels for enjoyment, fine. But you do not need to read anything. If you want a genuine man, be genuine, plain and simple (while adding the caveat, if you get the instinct he/or she is not genuine, well, do as you please). Edited May 17, 2012 by ToyWithMe812
Mr Scorpio Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 If you love him like you say you do you need to read up on some books and find a way to make you irresistible and make him have all of those feelings for you again! You can do it! This coming from a person whose only purpose on this site is to sell things to people?
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