powerofwhat Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Hello New here - would be interested in your opinions. About a year ago I got together with a girl at work. I wasn't attracted to her, we just had a one night stand as were both pretty wasted at an office party. We then just sort of got together and starting seeing each other. I didn't expect much of it to be honest but now a year down the line we are still together and I am realising I shouldn't of got together with her in the first place. Before we got together I never even gave her a thought - she just isn't my type physically. Once we started seeing her I began to enjoy her company and the regular sex and attention. Now that's worn off and I have opened my eyes to the fact that I was never really attracted to her physically though I still know she has a nice personality - but this just isn't enough to sustain a relationship. Though we do have a healthy sex life, I'm just not feeling it any more and in a way I'm angry with myself for getting involved with someone I can't have been into. Anyone else been through this? Getting together with someone and being so wrapped up in the whole new relationship thing that you 'forget' you don't find them attractive? What do you do when you suddenly realise this? I think MANY people just settle with it, it's easier than to be single and out hunting again.
Leegh Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 It's probably best to get out of the relationship. I know it's hard to get out of a comfortable relationship, but if you and she keep going out, it may be expected that you and she will marry someday. Sometimes marriage makes things worse if the two people aren't suited for each other. You don't have to end it immediately, but if you want to end it, figure out a graceful way to make your exit.
Joaquin Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 I think it's more common than you realise. It's called settling as you already said.
Author powerofwhat Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 I think it's more common than you realise. It's called settling as you already said. It's certainly common amoungst people I know though they'd never admit it. But why do people decide to do it? Why just settle for someone? I'm guessing that these types of relationships are the ones that ultimately do not last, always someone will get hurt be it one year, 10 years or 30 years down the line as people wake up and smell the coffee. But how can you 'forget' the things that trigger your attraction when you meet someone and in the early stages of a r/s?
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