joystickd Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 I read somewhere its because men and women are afraid to ask for the things we really want in the opposite sex
Emilia Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Insecurity. A minute I have a whif of a guy playing games I stop expecting much from him and I'm outta there.
dasein Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Two things I see, one is taking out on someone what someone else did to them, "well the last one ignored me and blew me off so I'll get payback on this one." The other is boredom and being jaded after a certain amount of relationship experience to where they really just don't care that much. Telecom tech has enhanced and increased lots of gamey behavior. I think we all "play games" to an extent in early dating and relationships. Some is healthy IMO, too much not.
blueskyday Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Stop being afraid. Fear creates the need for games. Or keep the fear, but be fearless and say what's on your mind, and in your heart anyway. I've wasted too much time analyzing and playing subtle games. I really like the guy I'm dating. He told me to call him anytime I want, and that he will, too. He also said, "Let's talk about things." No games. Just two people moving TOWARDS each other. What a nice change. It's usually some a push/pull situation in dating, with one chasing, one retreating, and then reverse. Ugh! No more. Love me or leave me! I show who I am now, and that includes my vulnerability once there is some trust with someone.
TheSingleGuy Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Guys play games because game playing is the way things have to go. In a guys mind, it makes perfect sense to meet a girl we like, get her number and text her or call her immediately, like later that same day, to show her we really like her. For women, this comes across as unattractive, desperate, needy and clingy. So, we learn to wait a day or so before contacting her. This is game playing in a guy's mind. We play games because women read so much into what we do. We know a girl wants a boyfriend, no girl (well, few) wants to be f***ed and dumped. But if we start talking about a relationship too early, like on the first date, again, we come across as needy/clingy/desperate. So we learn not to do that. In a guy's mind, this is game playing. Period. I blame women entirely for all the games.
Emilia Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 I blame women entirely for all the games. Like I said: insecurity.
irc333 Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 For women, this comes across as unattractive, desperate, needy and clingy. So, we learn to wait a day or so before contacting her. This is game playing in a guy's mind. I fail to see how calling in a shorter time frame is even considered "needy , clingly, blah blah blah" Where have women got this idea in the first place??
serial muse Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 (edited) I fail to see how calling in a shorter time frame is even considered "needy , clingly, blah blah blah" Where have women got this idea in the first place?? Not all have. It's really counterproductive and short-sighted to assume that one gender is responsible for games. There is a large mix of people in the world, who have all had different experiences - families, relationships, etc. - that have contributed to their baggage and their ways of interacting with the world and with the opposite sex. It is true that many people pay it forward, in a negative way, when they've been hurt. It's also true that parents, friends, and society in general do damage sometimes, by suggesting modes of behavior that are essentially game-playing, and presenting them as normal and even healthy and necessary to "succeed" with the opposite sex. This is where PUA comes in as much as the Rules. Same exact thing. All of this contributes. To see only one part of the equation -- and respond accordingly, with PUA or the Rules, for example -- means you are part of the problem. Edited May 15, 2012 by serial muse
Author joystickd Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 Both genders are playing games. For men the motivation seems to be the fear of the reaction for saying they only want casual sex or to lessen the chance of rejection. For women it seems to be numerous reasons from bitterness, being a user, etc. All of these come from a place of insecurity. People would be amazed at what they can get away with if they just were honest. 2
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