Tree_Salmon Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 (edited) After doing really well for almost a month I'm having a sudden intense urge to get in contact with her. Even though I'm sure getting in touch will cause her to sick her new boyfriend on me through text and threaten me. Or worse. Should I even bother? Remain NC like planned? I don't even know why I would want to write her. She will probably only say something hurtful. Better to write here and not lose my cool. Edited May 15, 2012 by Tree_Salmon
eles83 Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 This is going to be a terrible reply, just fyi. But I had a funny image of like a street fight between her and that dumb guy and like, the forum, all West Side Story-like. 'Cause we could totally take him. Anyways, as someone struggling with severe self control issues, I think it is amazing that you have made it so long with NC. I am both impressed and inspired. I hope the day goes well for you.
Reddice Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 You did well not to contact her. You already know what the outcome will be. Better stick to NC till Armageddon.
Chi townD Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Why would you want to do that? This girl has nothing but contempt for you.
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 That's probably why. I don't get why she hates me so suddenly after trying to keep me from leaving. Just feels like it was all one big lie. She found her "everything" in 2 weeks? None of this makes any sense to me and maybe my brain wants it to make sense so bad that its forcing me to communicate again.
Chi townD Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 That's probably why. I don't get why she hates me so suddenly after trying to keep me from leaving. Because, she's having a temper tantrum like a child that didn't get his or her way. Now, she has a new toy and what's to rub it in your face.
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 My problem is I'm very forgiving. Well, its mostly that I don't give a crap. I've seen people do dumber s@*t so nothing really bothers me. The problem is that shes too immature to dump him once she gets over her tantrum. I guess I shouldn't give a crap.
lovinglife21 Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 You are doing well, remember that every time you contact her, it will hurt you and your road to happiness will take longer. I know how it feels, I phoned my ex a day after we broke up looking for answers, got none, just more pain, kept finding excuses to talk to him, every single time it was nothing but pain. It went on for about 2 weeks until I realised he doesn't know why he ended it, and that it was a pointless endeavour trying to figure it out. What I've learnt is that there is nothing you can do but take control of your life and make yourself happy. Every time you want to contact her post on here, or write it somewhere else, it doesn't matter as long as you express it. xx
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 It's weird how i was convinced that i had to contact her for that 3 hour span and then all of a sudden it made no sense to break no contact. Body and mind do strange things when facing this issue. In any case I will continue to post here when these things happen. I'm happy so many people understand my pain at least. even though this is one big messed up lesson that i learned 7 years ago and now i'm learning it again.
Chi townD Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 AND...you posted here instead of contacting her. Good on ya! 2
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 Yeah it was either post here or punch a hole through planet earth so thank god this place exists.
lovinglife21 Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Yeah it was either post here or punch a hole through planet earth so thank god this place exists. LOL:p Know that feeling! xx
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 So, I was drinking with the guys last night and I noticed that whenever I have fun i think of her and get convinced that I need to write. But I figure its just the booze and good time. Why am I always associating happiness with her? It sucks. I have incredible control. But im starting to second guess myself.
marqueemoon4 Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 So, I was drinking with the guys last night and I noticed that whenever I have fun i think of her and get convinced that I need to write. But I figure its just the booze and good time. Why am I always associating happiness with her? It sucks. I have incredible control. But im starting to second guess myself. stay strong dude.. you'll be sooooooo glad you did later, trust me.
Kaotic Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Hang in there! I know exactly how you feel! Whenever I have a happy moment and good time I ALWAYS think of him and want to share it with him. I'm hoping that will pass and that soon I'll be back to being normal and happy.
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 19, 2012 Author Posted May 19, 2012 Well, it's been over a month now and I'm glad I never gave in. Things have gotten easier it's just sad that reality sets in with time. I read the stories of people who still can't let go a year down the line but you have to. Life goes on. I've been having a blast and living it up regardless. I will always love this person but right now this is how it is.
ladyabstrused Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 I'm glad you could look at it positively now. I'm looking forward to the point of time when I stop having these doubts and "what ifs" and blaming myself for the things that happened. And feeling like I don't know if I'll ever find the one for me. I can't wait to feel happy again. Just like you.
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 19, 2012 Author Posted May 19, 2012 I'm glad you could look at it positively now. I'm looking forward to the point of time when I stop having these doubts and "what ifs" and blaming myself for the things that happened. And feeling like I don't know if I'll ever find the one for me. I can't wait to feel happy again. Just like you. Haha, well I'm not exactly there yet but I'm looking forward to it. I don't think I can love like that again but maybe a new kind of way.
ladyabstrused Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 Yeah. I never thought I could love intimately more than once in my life. I still feel that way honestly. I thought love was suppose to be once, sacred and special. But maybe that's only a fairytale. Like what Professor X said to me, I'll learn to love another man differently. Cos they're not all the same. A lot of other posters I see here say the same thing. Maybe we can love more than one time, it's just never the same with a previous one. It will be okay. You'll get there. You'll find someone who will likely make you feel so much better than your previous relationship. Good luck, I hope this happens for you.
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 19, 2012 Author Posted May 19, 2012 Yeah. I never thought I could love intimately more than once in my life. I still feel that way honestly. I thought love was suppose to be once, sacred and special. But maybe that's only a fairytale. Like what Professor X said to me, I'll learn to love another man differently. Cos they're not all the same. A lot of other posters I see here say the same thing. Maybe we can love more than one time, it's just never the same with a previous one. It will be okay. You'll get there. You'll find someone who will likely make you feel so much better than your previous relationship. Good luck, I hope this happens for you. Well I have loved twice before and it was great with both of them I just did this one most recently and they were all very different. This one was a really intense love. I'm sure I'm capable of another one. 1
Author Tree_Salmon Posted May 19, 2012 Author Posted May 19, 2012 Too bad I can't PM anyone on here. I'm sure things would be easier.
ladyabstrused Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 Well is there something wrong? I think we can only PM when we're established members, that's what Prof X said. You've got to be a month old on here and have a certain number of posts which he said I have..which means you do too.
MissBrunette84 Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 I can PM but I joined in january and noticed I could PM after 50 posts.
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