Manutara Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Ok, so I've got over her, and come out the other side a much more rounded and wiser person, having listened to much of the great advice on LS. But I now find that I still have a serious issue with relationships, in trusting someone again (my ex lied to me consistently towards the end). So how does one get back into it all? I've become a much better human being, but also a fairly lonely one, and cynical regarding all types of romantic relationships. Do I just have to fake it until I make it? I know it's an irrational fear, but try telling that to someone scared of flying who stops taking aeroplanes...while they understand that it greatly limits them, some people simply can't get through it. Thanks.
carhill Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Tell me about your relationship with your best friend.
Reddice Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 (edited) Ok, so I've got over her, and come out the other side a much more rounded and wiser person, having listened to much of the great advice on LS. But I now find that I still have a serious issue with relationships, in trusting someone again (my ex lied to me consistently towards the end). So how does one get back into it all? I've become a much better human being, but also a fairly lonely one, and cynical regarding all types of romantic relationships. Do I just have to fake it until I make it? I know it's an irrational fear, but try telling that to someone scared of flying who stops taking aeroplanes...while they understand that it greatly limits them, some people simply can't get through it. Thanks. It's not an irrational fear at all. I've been going through hell these past months and am already wondering if I will be able to trust a woman ever again. In fact, I have started to believe that not a single relationship is meant to last forever. After all, women nowadays seem to change men faster than socks. Edited May 15, 2012 by Reddice
january2011 Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Small steps. Be open and honest with your partner. Hope that she is trustworthy, patient and consistent. Every time the trust is challenged, work through it and challenge the notion - is it true? What is the worst case scenario? What is the best case scenario? Which one is more probable? With time, you could learn to trust enough to have a healthy relationship. Maybe there will be an element of faking it until your trust meter re-calibrates.
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