verhrzn Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Now, granted, I'm rather naive about the whole social graces thing, and I'm especially confused how I should handle this situation that just popped up. About a year ago, I met a guy at a sci-fi con. Due to... lots of confusion, mixed signals, drama, etc, we danced around dating, but never become an official couple, and in November just settled down to being friends. I haven't seen him since January, but we've texted a little bit. He's texted me to hang out about once a month, and then usually had something come up. This last occasion was in late April... so about 3 weeks ago. I felt a little spontaneous today, so I decided to call him to see if he wanted to hang out. A girl answered the phone, and asked who I was. I told her, and asked to speak with him. She refused... and started going on and on about how because I'd rejected him, she was lucky enough to now be dating him. She said very quickly how awesome and considerate and what a great f*ck he is, and how I'm a heartless b*tch. She finished by saying I should never call him again, and hung up. I didn't know he was dating anyone, but I'm pleased if he is. He's the one who has been messaging me to hang out. And I thought we've just been platonic friends. I'm.... stunned, is the word. And kinda worried that my friend is dating a total, controlling psycho. How in the world should I handle this, since she is obviously monitoring his phone? Should I try to message him on facebook or email to see what's up?? What the hell was all that?!
ThaWholigan Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Stay out of this one verhzrn. You don't want no part o' this **** 1
Author verhrzn Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 Stay out of this one verhzrn. You don't want no part o' this **** Yeeeeah, I am more than a little vary of such a blast of Crazy Drama. But if I did something to piss off my friend, or if he wants me to leave him alone, I'd like to know about it, ya know?...
xxoo Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 The girl is crazy, no doubt.... But the guy is into you I agree with Who, stay away from this mess..... .....but it shows that you don't see it when a guy is into you! 2
SmileFace Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Do you know the girl that answered the phone? That seemed beyond immature. I say leave it alone -- if he contacts you , he can explain himself then.
Els Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Few things here. 1) The guy is a person you know in real life who was attracted to you. Don't ignore this fact while embarking on your negative claims in the future. 2) The girl sounds extremely immature and melodramatic, but IMO she's just a young and besotted girl who probably heard one too many sob story from her current bf about how he perceived himself being rejected by his crush (you). 3) Just stay out of it and don't contact him, and probably try to think back about the signals you missed about his attraction. Onwards now. 1
ThaWholigan Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Yeeeeah, I am more than a little vary of such a blast of Crazy Drama. But if I did something to piss off my friend, or if he wants me to leave him alone, I'd like to know about it, ya know?... My guess is he liked you, but it never materialised and he is a little bitter about it. He found a girlfriend, probably told her a one-sided story about the situation between you two, and has painted you in a rather unflattering light, causing said girl to react like that. Honestly, you don't have to explain yourself to either of them, and anything he says is likely to be a supplicating cover up of his own tracks. Let this one go, trust me. PS. HAHA HE LIKED YOU!! YOU WERE WRONG :D:D:D 7
Kamille Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Haha! Now we have proof! A man was so into you that his new girl is going bonkers! We need to revise and redraft. Men do find Verhrzn attractive. I suspect the only reason they don't hit on her is that she's so convinced they couldn't possibly be into her that she ignores them when they try. 11
threebyfate Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Friendzoned where he ended up settling for a "lesser" girl, right? 1
Els Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 We need to revise and redraft. Men do find Verhrzn attractive. I suspect the only reason they don't hit on her is that she's so convinced they couldn't possibly be into her that she ignores them when they try. Quoted for truth.
oaks Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Leave well alone until he contacts you, and then ask "who was that crazy girl who answered the phone when I called you back in May?" 2
ThaWholigan Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Friendzoned where he ended up settling for a "lesser" girl, right? even better. Verhrzn, how does it feel to be the hot girl in the triangle? Let this be a reminder, you can be as hot as any other girl out there, remember that . "put those f*ckin heels on n work it gurrrll :love:" 7
Ruby Slippers Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Yep, and with a crazy like his current gf, this relationship can't last
Author verhrzn Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 I got a face full of crazy and my friend is ignoring me/hates me, and the big important thing you guys got out of it is that he had a crush on me? Crazy is spreading tonight :-) How do you guys know the crazy girlfriend doesn't treat every girl this way? (Either way, good luck to my poor friend. I've struggled with trust and insecurity issues in the past, but DAMN, that was just.... an alarming level of it.)
Kamille Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 How do you guys know the crazy girlfriend doesn't treat every girl this way? Cause we've seen "the worst pic of yourself" you could find (your words) and we know how fun you can be. There's no way no man finds you attractive. But don't take our word for it. That guy's girlfriend makes a convincing argument:p. I'm sorry your friend is ignoring you. As to his new girl, she sounds like something else. There isn't much to say except: steer clear! 1
ThaWholigan Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 I got a face full of crazy and my friend is ignoring me/hates me, and the big important thing you guys got out of it is that he had a crush on me? Crazy is spreading tonight :-) How do you guys know the crazy girlfriend doesn't treat every girl this way? (Either way, good luck to my poor friend. I've struggled with trust and insecurity issues in the past, but DAMN, that was just.... an alarming level of it.) I've always been crazy, it's not just tonight You don't know he hates you, he hasn't spoken to you since. I speculate he's still into you to an extent, otherwise she wouldn't have even reacted that way (unless she's one of those girls lol). And crazy girlfriend or not, whatever he told her about you is pretty much an indicator that he liked you, otherwise he wouldn't have even mentioned you. He wanted to take you from Vertical to Horizontal . Forever . And theres plenty more where they came from 2
Author verhrzn Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 Okay, betting time! Where does she land on this?: Barney Stinson How i met your mother, Hot,Crazy SCALE Barney Stinson - YouTube I sent him an email, just asking for clarification and for him to call me, and apologizing if I had done something to hurt our friendship. He hasn't responded. I also spoke with a mutual friend, and she was just as blown away as I was (she hasn't spoken to him recently and was unaware of a new gf.) We mutually decided that if he doesn't respond we'll just leave him alone, cause... Seriously, is it just me or is it quite crazy?? Sorry to stick on this, but I have never experienced this before. I feel like I'm in some weird romantic comedy where Drew Barrymore plays the boss who is very concerned about my dating life.
ThaWholigan Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Okay, betting time! Where does she land on this?: Barney Stinson How i met your mother, Hot,Crazy SCALE Barney Stinson - YouTube I sent him an email, just asking for clarification and for him to call me, and apologizing if I had done something to hurt our friendship. He hasn't responded. I also spoke with a mutual friend, and she was just as blown away as I was (she hasn't spoken to him recently and was unaware of a new gf.) We mutually decided that if he doesn't respond we'll just leave him alone, cause... Seriously, is it just me or is it quite crazy?? Sorry to stick on this, but I have never experienced this before. I feel like I'm in some weird romantic comedy where Drew Barrymore plays the boss who is very concerned about my dating life. Some girls can be extremely territorial about guys, especially if they are unsure of where his feelings lie. They can go to extreme levels of crazy at the drop of a hat. I've seen girls do this a LOT. It's not the craziest thing I've seen girls do though. This is pretty mild, and I wouldn't sweat it too much.
kaylan Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 (edited) Now, granted, I'm rather naive about the whole social graces thing, and I'm especially confused how I should handle this situation that just popped up. About a year ago, I met a guy at a sci-fi con. Due to... lots of confusion, mixed signals, drama, etc, we danced around dating, but never become an official couple, and in November just settled down to being friends. I haven't seen him since January, but we've texted a little bit. He's texted me to hang out about once a month, and then usually had something come up. This last occasion was in late April... so about 3 weeks ago. I felt a little spontaneous today, so I decided to call him to see if he wanted to hang out. A girl answered the phone, and asked who I was. I told her, and asked to speak with him. She refused... and started going on and on about how because I'd rejected him, she was lucky enough to now be dating him. She said very quickly how awesome and considerate and what a great f*ck he is, and how I'm a heartless b*tch. She finished by saying I should never call him again, and hung up. I didn't know he was dating anyone, but I'm pleased if he is. He's the one who has been messaging me to hang out. And I thought we've just been platonic friends. I'm.... stunned, is the word. And kinda worried that my friend is dating a total, controlling psycho. How in the world should I handle this, since she is obviously monitoring his phone? Should I try to message him on facebook or email to see what's up?? What the hell was all that?! 10 bucks says that wasnt his girlfirned, and was one of his gal pals who was doing his bidding for him at his request. Sounds like he was butthurt and needed a woman to take care of his dirty work because he isnt a real man. Dont waste your energy even giving 1 brown shiite about this situation. Dude is a class A tosser. This should be your mindset: "And not a single fvk was given" P.S. - Whats everyone talking about when they say OP didnt see he liked her? Didnt her OP say that he kept cancelling and had something come up? Sounds to me like them not connecting was his fault. Edited May 15, 2012 by kaylan
Author verhrzn Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 (edited) 10 bucks says that wasnt his girlfirned, and was one of his gal pals who was doing his bidding for him at his request. Sounds like he was butthurt and needed a woman to take care of his dirty work because he isnt a real man. Dont waste your energy even giving 1 brown shiite about this situation. Dude is a class A tosser. This should be your mindset: "And not a single fvk was given" P.S. - Whats everyone talking about when they say OP didnt see he liked her? Didnt her OP say that he kept cancelling and had something come up? Sounds to me like them not connecting was his fault. Yeah, he would message me to hang out, I'd say sure, and then last minute he'd cancel. Like I said, the reason we didn't date was LOTS and lots of mixed signals at the beginning. I still found him very attractive, but this essentially became my mentality: Look At Them All! I thought becoming friends would lower the drama. But guess I must return to that mentality. Edited May 15, 2012 by verhrzn
ascendotum Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 10 bucks says that wasnt his girlfirned, and was one of his gal pals who was doing his bidding for him at his request. Sounds like he was butthurt and needed a woman to take care of his dirty work because he isnt a real man. idk, V does not normally call him, its kind of a loopy thing to do. If it was his genuine gf, then its also loopy, that he told her those things about V if they weren't true...but then V having such difficulty finding (with her minimal requirements) a guy who is interested in having her for a gf is also kind of loopy. If he is her genuine friend, then I think she should get an answer out of him, as too what that was all about.
Lonely Ronin Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Based on what you have posted, sounds like he was interested, but wasn't sure if you were. what happened the first few times you hung out?
Author verhrzn Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 Based on what you have posted, sounds like he was interested, but wasn't sure if you were. what happened the first few times you hung out? He flirted with his ex-gf (my good friend) in front of me the first three times. (Tickling each other, cuddling, ignoring me, that sort of thing.) I'd told my friend I was interested in him, and I'd been hard-core flirting with him up until then. I stormed off the first time, and the 2nd and 3rd times I just resolved myself to deal with it. By then, I'd decided (rightfully, eh?) that he wasn't into me, and I should get over him. The fourth time he invited me out for a movie, then talked about how all these girls are throwing themselves at him, and how he has SO many female friends that wanted to sleep with him. Seriously, we're standing ALONE in a parking lot late at night, just us, me trying to be all flirty, and he's talking about other girls. That was kinda the last "attraction" straw for me. It wasn't until about two or three months after we'd met that he finally said he liked me. By then, though, I'd done such a good job getting over him that it was too hard to put myself out there again ... my pride was way too wounded, and there had been such drama between him, me, and my friend. I did really try... I'd been SO into him when I met him, and I still rather was, but with my insecurity issues, it was just too much to overcome. Just a major bummer it should come to this.
Lonely Ronin Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 He flirted with his ex-gf (my good friend) in front of me the first three times. (Tickling each other, cuddling, ignoring me, that sort of thing.) I'd told my friend I was interested in him, and I'd been hard-core flirting with him up until then. I stormed off the first time, and the 2nd and 3rd times I just resolved myself to deal with it. By then, I'd decided (rightfully, eh?) that he wasn't into me, and I should get over him. The fourth time he invited me out for a movie, then talked about how all these girls are throwing themselves at him, and how he has SO many female friends that wanted to sleep with him. Seriously, we're standing ALONE in a parking lot late at night, just us, me trying to be all flirty, and he's talking about other girls. That was kinda the last "attraction" straw for me. Sounds like he is a super touchy-feely flirt, so unless you are all over him he is going to think you're not interested. I think the conversation at the end of your 4th date was a hint/challenge.
Recommended Posts