blutoj Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 I've got a question pertaining to my ex boyfriend, and what exactly I should do. Okay, here's my problem. We're both in high school. Well, he just graduated. I still have a year to go. We dated for over a year and a half. When we met, we hit it off right away and fell deeply in love. However, a few months before he broke up with me, we started to drift apart, and the passion just sort of went away. This had everything to do with him being stressed about graduating, and me dealing with depression. A few months before, something had happened in my family, and the tension and anger that was going on at home started to drift into other aspects of my life a.k.a my relationship. Anyway, he broke up with me because he said he felt as if he wasn't making me happy, and he was tired of trying because it wasn't getting any results. When he said his, we both cried, and walked away broken hearted. This was about two months ago. I asked him the next day if there was any chance for us, and he said that, yes, there was. But at the moment, he made the decision to be single, and he didn't want to flip flop. I respected this decision, and agreed that it would do us good to spend some time to get acquainted with friends we put aside for our relationship and just get used to being independent from one another again (All his friends are going out of state for college, and he probably won't see them again). I asked him when would be a good time to re-open the question of weather or not we should be in a relationship again, and he said after school starts, when summer vacation is over. Since we broke up, we still remained in contact. Well, we sorta had to. We were taking a university class together, so it's not like we could avoid each other. And the weird thing is that we actually got along much better than when we were together. It was like the comfort of being in a relationship was gone, so we had to interact like friends, and being friendly was not at all hard. Anyway, a week ago Monday was the last day of our class, hence the last day I had a reason to see him. He was very affectionate, but not really in a romantic way. We laughed together and reminisced on the good days. He told me he was really going to miss me this summer, and that he had an incredible year with me, and he was so sorry it didn't work out in the end. Before we left, he embraced me in a hug and would not let go until I pulled away and ran off (I was sort of crying and didn't want him to see) Anyway, we haven't spoken since, and I'm at a loss of what to do. I really want to ask him for another chance, because we got along so well after we broke up, and the chemistry we had was unmistakably great. Plus, I still am crazy about him. I just feel like I'd be diminishing my self respect asking the boy who broke up with me for another chance. He said we maybe could get together when school started again, but that's months away! I really don't want to wait that long on a “maybe.” He's going out of town for about a month in July, and I kinda want to ask him before. I'm not going to ask him to be my boyfriend, yet, but just to see if things can grow into something more. I know I was a hard person to be with, because I let my personal problems get in the way of our relationship, and I know I made him miserable for that. I'm doing much better now. All that was bothering me at home previously has been resolved, and I'm a 100% happier person for it. I just got comfortable in our relationship, took him for granted, and didn't really try to keep any spark alive. I know my downfalls and really want to know what's it's like being with him, with this whole new perspective and appreciation. I've come to terms with the fact that we may never be together again, and I'm okay with that. I know there will be a million other chances to be happy, and I'm not naïve thinking this was it. But I still cant get over the time I lost being depressed and angry, and I just can't ignore how well we really get along. I just want to know what to do. (He said if anything were to happen, I should be the one to ask him, since he asked me the first time) Should I ask him? What do you think I should say? Is this something really worth perusing, or should I just let it go?
jkscarlet Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 I think that you have nothing to lose. I have been in a similar situation and now me and that person are still together and engaged. If you truly love this man and want to be with him (and you think you can make it work) then I think you need to find out. Goodluck and keep me posted
pteromom Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 He said we maybe could get together when school started again Sounds like wants to have fun and be single this summer, but wants to keep you on the line. Still - you have nothing to lose by asking. Worst thing that can happen is he says NO.
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 High school should be about fun, not worrying about 'keeping the spark alive' or 'passion'--chuckling about that here. You both are so young and should date around. He wants to use the Summer to see what's out there, and rightly he should. No harm in talking to him at the end of Summer--but you might be on a different page by then. Don't chase him--he let you go. Therefore he should make the first move. let him call you. 1
Leigh 87 Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Sounds like he may think there is a chance for you, but since he is young, he sounds like he wants to see what is out there in a girl, before just throwing his single life away just yet. It is a big deal to remain monogomus with one person, from a very young age. He probably needs to be young first, date and./or have casual fun with various others, before he settles down. It is not the best idea to settle down in high school, unless your both very mature individuals, who have developed more than the average person at your age has. Chances are, he will date around, you will date around after he does and posible be very hurt when he first starts seeing other girls, however; you will BOTH get over the each other, as most young people do. I am not trying to generalize you, your both unique! I am just pointing out, that although your hurting now,most young people get over there first or second serious relationships - there is such a huge world out there, anything could happen, even with guys you do not even EXPECT to like! If I were you, I would be strong and face the pain of life without him for now - do not initiate contact, and focus on you! Get fitter, or join a gym if u have not already... do things that make u more confident. After the initial pain, I am sure u will look and feel better than ever, and start to become excited at the world, without him in it.... If, after you both look around at other options, catch up and decide you have something special, by all means for for it!
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