Lovemeforwhoiam Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Hi....this is all new to me and like most of you I never imagined I would find myself here. My husband and I have agreed our marriage must come to an end. We live in a very small town...his home town. As we have decided to divorce I would love to relocate 30 minutes to an hour away with our children into a bigger city and start a new life. My husband had several affairs that became public and I just want to start over, away from his family. My H and I get along very well and he is extremely involved with our children. My mom is adamant that I have no choice but to keep our home and NOT relocate our children. I can absolutely see her concerns and they are very valid. But I also think she and I both have the small town mentality and I know if I lived in a large city, the commute from one parent to another could easily be a half hour to an hour... I would love to hear from anyone out there who has divorced and had a successful co-parenting situation where the parents were not living within minutes or a few miles of one another. I am really only talking between 30-60 miles at the most... Please tell me the good the bad and the ugly. I need help with this decision. At this point I feel like the best thing for ME is to get outta here...but the best thing for my kids may be staying here...and I feel like I need to do what is best for them. THoughts and opinions please... Thank you!
Steen719 Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 How old are your kids? What does your husband think? Does your Mom live with you or in the same town? Do you get along with his family? Commuting to get the children back and forth won't be the same thing as everyday activities of baseball, etc., unless one parent is willing to drive that far several days a week. Maybe someone with experience in this will read it and answer you. Good luck.
Author Lovemeforwhoiam Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 Thank you Steen! Those are very good questions... My kids are preschool age with my son starting kdg this upcoming fall; so the pressure is on to figure it out before that time. My husband prefers that we stay here; but understands why I want to move. He says he feels selfish asking me to stay; but I absolutely think there are valid reasons for us staying in the same town. My parents are almost 4 hours away...I am in H's hometown with his family. I get along well with his family. I know they will not be happy about a divorce and will definitely not be supportive of me moving away with the kids even a short distance. Ugh.
standtall Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Love..just so you know, in most US states, both parties must agree to any relocation of the children, and in general, the court frowns upon moving them.
nekha123 Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Thank you Steen! Those are very good questions... My kids are preschool age with my son starting kdg this upcoming fall; so the pressure is on to figure it out before that time. My husband prefers that we stay here; but understands why I want to move. He says he feels selfish asking me to stay; but I absolutely think there are valid reasons for us staying in the same town. My parents are almost 4 hours away...I am in H's hometown with his family. I get along well with his family. I know they will not be happy about a divorce and will definitely not be supportive of me moving away with the kids even a short distance. Ugh. So your kids are very young. They may miss your H & his family if they are loving towards the kids. It also involves your emotions which has to be given equal importance as kids'. Tell me few things: 1.Are your kids love their dad equally as they love you? 2.Will your H & family be normal after few months you moved away from them? 3.Distance doesn't matter. As they'll be away from dad, you've to give them the 'extra happiness'. It's just like giving something and taking something. 4.As you've not stated about your H's home. If you are staying in a same home, why don't you build one small room nearby or over their home? You could still stay seperately and it'll be easier for kids to goto dad's home or your's. But yeah, it's practically little tough to be near and still not to see. But since this involves your emotions and kids' you can't take any quick decisions. Because of my parents, I'm not happy today, I would want you to consider your kids' emotions and feelings 20yrs down the line. All said, it's highly suggested to get counselled before taking any major decision. All the best and god be with you!
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