lifehurts Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Ok yeah so there's this girl I'm like in love with, she recently broke up with her ex I've always been there for her ect. We're really really close she tells me basically everything, she knows I've got strong feelings for her. So everytime I'm with her I make her smile even if she's depressed she said I'm the only person who can make her smile when she's depressed. I asked do I make you happy she said yeah. Then I asked her do you have feelings for me she said yes she does but that she's still in love with her ex. I asked in the future if there's any possibility she said yeah but she wants time to get over her ex, but there's a possibility that her and her ex may get back together. So if I make her so happy, and she has feelings for me, does that mean I've got shot with her? or am I stuck in the friends zone? What do you guys think? Should I ask her give me a chance and I'll make you happy? Also she lost her virginity to her ex and she was in love with him, does that make it harder for her to let him go, because that's what I've heard.
TaraMaiden Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 You're not in love with her, until she's in love with you... until she is, it's a heavy - if unrequited - crush. If she's still holding our hope for her ex- that will always make you second-best. Her back-burner guy, her "soft place to fall." You're good for her ego, and you make her feel good about herself, less alone, more desirable - and know this: If she and her ex- get back together, she will drop you like a hot stone. She'll have what she wants. Attention. If they don't get back together, she will be keeping you waiting a while. Because she will be longing for him, and getting over him... but she will still want you around as her pain buffer.....
Author lifehurts Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 Hmm yeah I understand that, but what if her and her ex never get back together? And she's already told me I'm going to be second best, because she still loves her ex. I understand that. I'm willing to wait, because I really like her she's an amazing person, there are so many guys after she said she only feels this way about me and her ex. So I must have done something right if she has developed feelings for me.
TaraMaiden Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 If you're happy to be a second-best option, when you should be a central priority, ok... go ahead, waste your time, and wait.... You will love her with everything you've got - she will love you because she's settling for someone she sees as second-best.... You will never be the one who has her full attention, so you'll only have a part of her heart.... which means you'll never really have it at all. Good luck with that.
Author lifehurts Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 :S Yeah I understand I don't want to let her go just like that... But she will have to get over him eventually right? I mean she can't love him all her life, and I'm just wondering if I should wait to bank on that chance.
Eddie Edirol Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Hmm yeah I understand that, but what if her and her ex never get back together? And she's already told me I'm going to be second best, because she still loves her ex. I understand that. I'm willing to wait, because I really like her she's an amazing person, there are so many guys after she said she only feels this way about me and her ex. So I must have done something right if she has developed feelings for me. I dont think she has feelings for you, she is just telling you what you want to hear so she can still get your attention, while she is still hurting over her ex. Put it this way, if she was into you, she would have started dating you already, the ex wouldnt matter. So she doesnt really have feelings for you, she is just using you, so yes, you are in the friendzone. There is no future for you two, like TM said, she is waiting to get word from her ex, she will drop you like you were nothing. She doesnt need you as a boyfriend, but she needs you as company so that she doesnt think more intensely about her ex. Kind of like hanging with a brother. Right now she is probably thinking of her ex 24/7, he was a drug that she is suffering withdrawal from. So right now you are blurry in her eyes, and when she can finally see, she will look elsewhere for a boyfriend, she wont be looking for you. Women her age dont want a boy that is waiting around for her like a puppy, she want someone they want to work for. Until you are devastatingly broken hearted, you wont understand why she cant see you as a boyfriend. 2
WhiteChocolate Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 :S Yeah I understand I don't want to let her go just like that... But she will have to get over him eventually right? I mean she can't love him all her life, and I'm just wondering if I should wait to bank on that chance. She will get over him eventually. But she will never get with you. She will find another guy, and you will always be second best. I think you should start pursuing other girls, if only to get her out of your mind. She sounds like the type that likes to keep lots of guys hanging around just for the attention. Eddie Edirol is 200% correct.
Author lifehurts Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 Yeah I'm open to different women, but she's so emotionally attached to me. I told her one day that it hurts being with her, then she just cried and she said she wanted me to stay. She said she likes me, only if she never met her ex. It would have been a completely different story
Author lifehurts Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 so its 20:40 im lying on my bed with your phone next to me thought id charge it cuz im nice but then again ialsom urm managed to disable it which sucks -.-& just found out ihad rima on pin so yeah am talking to her feeling a bit bored though cuz i usually have you to talk to and currently idont so im a bit lost -.- im trying to revise too but its not working bet you're had a lovely evening without me pecking your head but omg i've been feeling guilty ever since you walked away i was like omg i should give umar his phone and i was feeling so bad plus you looked like a sad little lost puppy *sigh* (haha that's what you always do) but yeah i missyou tonights gonna be an early night cuz then tomorrow will come quicker ihope i actually see you considering we don'y hsbr maths :L eeeep haha no I'll make sure ifind you cuz iaint gonna last all of tomorrow without you either, and eight minutes later im still writing this not knowing what to say but i wanna make it super long so you have a long essay to read hehe, im a gettin a teeny tiny bit sleepy already might just sleep since i got nothing better to do pft why did i take your phone, but but but more to the question why did you just let me take it? like you didn't even try get it back you just let me take it and go. aw i want a hug from you now don't ask why just feel like a hug im having umar withdrawal symptoms and i'm slowly losing the plot. My phone's dead because I don't have you to talk to yeah its getting to me that i don have you im feeling lonely huff urm should I just shut up now? lol ithink iwill just for now might send another message later ahaa loveyouuuuu <3 Hmm make sense of this? She sent this me a while ago.
ThaWholigan Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 She's playing a game with you, she's doing a number on you. Her emotional "attachment" to you is her problem. If you can be her friend while taking your romantic feelings out of the equation, then do that. But I urge you: FIND OTHER GIRLS TO TALK TO!!! Do not wait for this one, she does not want you. She wants your attention so she will say anything to keep it.
Author lifehurts Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 Hmm yeah I talk to other girls as well, but don't feel the same way. :L I'm just going to risk everything and see what she says, I'm ready to get heartbroken it doesn't faze me. I just hate to be in limbo, after all my exams are finished I'll ask her out and see what she says if she says not then I'll stop speaking to her. I know her very well she isn't that type of person just to use me, there's loads of other guys who are after her. She doesn't give them the same treatment, it's all just a bit weird. But I have to do it.
shorty7 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Dude, for all I can tell, you're a nice guy. And she's pretty much doing WORSE than putting you in the friend zone. Look, you're head's over heels in love with this girl, but you are because she's dear to you for whatever reason and you'd do anything to keep her from getting hurt, right? You'd NEVER consider her second best because it's her you want, right? Why shouldn't she feel the same for you? Why shouldn't you deserve the same? You're basically throwing yourself at her and asking to be a doormat by giving her the attention she wants. Move on. You deserve better.
Meg717 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 I had a best male friend that I talked to EVERYDAY even when I was with my fiance. We would text and we would also talk for 20+minutes..daily. My friends would always tell me that him and I were meant to be together but I just didn't have those feelings for him. I sensed he had those feelings for me though. When we first met, when I was 17, we did hook up but nothing really came of it. We don't really talk like we used to but there were points in our friendship where his girlfriends thought there was something going on between him and I - one girlfriend even called me and accused me of being with him at that moment. We were very close..practically dating lol. Moral of this story - we were JUST FRIENDS. I told him I loved him, I told him I would always need him. I never told him if situations were different we'd be together, but he could have taken anything else I've said to mean something more. Listen to everyone's advice. Start dating other women. This girl is going to break your heart. Even if she agrees to go on a date with you, it doesn't mean she is looking to be in a relationship with you. Like everyone has said, you are her second best so if her #1 comes along (her ex or someone new) she's going to drop you without even thinking about it. Then you'll be explaining to us all that the love of your life dumped you for another guy.
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