ThatDudeXO Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 (edited) Is it natural to feel extra hurt or extra happy when something negative or positive happens with a potential love interest after experiencing heart break? -- (it's not necessary to read about my situation but it would be helpful) Since going out with this girl I like, kissing and exchanging numbers, I have thought about my ex a lot less. She barely crosses my mind any more, I no longer feel hurt from the loss of that relationship. However when I feel like this girl is losing interest, I feel more hurt than I should do but when it seems like it's great I feel amazing. We communicate through text, so it can those conversations can be plain or vague. Is it natural to be this way? Or is it something else that I'm not realising? Edited May 14, 2012 by ThatDudeXO
WonderKid Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Feeling extra hurt is common. Its heartbreak--heartbreaks hurt. Feeling happy, is maybe you in the back of your mind pushing you to move forward.
EricaH329 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Ah, this throws up a few red flags for me. You should never date until you are fully healed from your last relationship. Why? Because exactly what's happening to you now, will always happen. You put a lot more emphasis on this new person because they are taking the 'place' of your old relationship. Not only that, but since you aren't fully healed, you still have those lingering feelings. Those feelings resurface when an emotion triggers them. Therefor, you will feel a lot more strongly towards this new person because those old feelings are coming back also. I do not recommend this. If she were to leave you, you'd feel a thousand times worse than you did the first time around. The 'good' feelings you have are an illusion. You are placing a lot of unrealistic standards on her, because you are so desperate to get over your ex. I promise, this is not good. I hope for your sake everything works out. Please, be careful with your emotions. Do not allow yourself to become consumed in any of them right now. You're still vulnerable. 1
Author ThatDudeXO Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 Erica what you say does make sense. Thank you...I guess I really do need to take a step back. I'm going crazy over someone whose only attracted to me and I don't know if they like me. Meh. I hate being super happy and then super hurt. 1
EricaH329 Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Erica what you say does make sense. Thank you...I guess I really do need to take a step back. I'm going crazy over someone whose only attracted to me and I don't know if they like me. Meh. I hate being super happy and then super hurt. I know it hurts, and it sucks, but try to avoid becoming consumed (or feeding into) intense emotions right now. Your brain is doing a thousand things trying to heal itself from your previous break up. You have to let it do everything it's meant to, before bringing new emotions into the mix.
6ft180natl Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Is it natural to feel extra hurt or extra happy when something negative or positive happens with a potential love interest after experiencing heart break? -- (it's not necessary to read about my situation but it would be helpful) Since going out with this girl I like, kissing and exchanging numbers, I have thought about my ex a lot less. She barely crosses my mind any more, I no longer feel hurt from the loss of that relationship. However when I feel like this girl is losing interest, I feel more hurt than I should do but when it seems like it's great I feel amazing. We communicate through text, so it can those conversations can be plain or vague. Is it natural to be this way? Or is it something else that I'm not realising? Wow this is exactly what happens to me. After a breakup the next person I go out with that I really start to like I think I like them too much and seem to be extra emotional too quickly. At the same time I barely thought about my ex anymore and felt numb towards her so it was confusing but I think I projected something onto the new girl. This also happened 7 years ago after I came out of another relationship. One thing I notice is even tho it isn't healthy it did help me get over the ex faster but the problem is it will likely ruin whatever you have going with the new potential that you really like. Still I think I might prefer to be emotional and hurt over someone I haven't known as long instead of the ex since its easier than being hurt over the ex.
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