Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 You can't work on life experience differences, no matter how hard you try. As you said, you don't even know about taxes and yet, you are walking a path that will lead you to be a step-mom to a son who could have sex with you in a couple of years AND it won't even be awkward age-wise unlike what you have now. P.S. I hope you know that he sees you as he sees his son. If you think he takes you more seriously, you are gravely mistaken. By the sound of things, you get the kicks of banging an older guy who's somewhat of a father figure to you and he's getting off banging a hot young chick. Yeah, I think I can. My parents did it. I dont think its impossible to do it. If he see me as he see his son(which he doesnt) then that is disgusting because I'm not a child or a baby. I just prefer older guys it's not a father figure thing...
xxoo Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 There is alot of things that need to be spoken about one on one that I am now seeing. I haven't concluded much yet. I'm just waiting to speak to him about what I'm feeling and about a few things that were mention on here like how does his son feel or how do I feel about his son. I will decided from there I guess. It's great that you are willing to initiate the challenging conversations. That does show maturity. I married at just 20, so I know that young women can be mature! He, otoh, is avoiding this awkward issue. Being 39 doesn't mean he is more emotionally mature than a younger guy. Maybe you should be looking for someone more mature
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 As it should. The red flags keeping piling up here Katyerine. Ignores you sometimes when you tell him something makes you feel uncomfrotable? That is so completely wrong and messed up. Why are you with this guy? Seriousy, what makes you stay with him? I really like this guy. He has certain qualities that attracts me to him. He really is the first guy that hasn't hurt me. I'm putting him on a pedastool and I shouldnt even though I can't help it...
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 It's great that you are willing to initiate the challenging conversations. That does show maturity. I married at just 20, so I know that young women can be mature! He, otoh, is avoiding this awkward issue. Being 39 doesn't mean he is more emotionally mature than a younger guy. Maybe you should be looking for someone more mature Yeap! I guess that's true. haha I will see if he really is mature as I think he is once I speak to him.
Krytie TV Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 It sounds to me like you intend to spin your wheels on this topic until eventually someone else makes this decision for you. Is that what you want? To decide by not deciding is good in some cases, but not with interpersonal relationships.
irc333 Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I knew this on really HOT babe that worked at the gym, the front desk, 6 feet tall, slender and sexy, she did a lot of swimsuit modeling/competing, had the MySpace photos to prove it, and even starred on a reality show as well for a season. Anyhow, she was dating her boyfriend who was in his mid to early 40's, and had a son about 18/19...and the girlfriend was 21. As thes one, I'd probably be drooling all over "my dad's girlfriend", and how ...as a guy like him, would not be tempted to hit on his own dad's g/f? LOL He wound up cheating on her anyways, so she got married to some other male "orbiter" and moved off into the country in no-man's land and landed a regular job as some kind of building inspector.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 It sounds to me like you intend to spin your wheels on this topic until eventually someone else makes this decision for you. Is that what you want? To decide by not deciding is good in some cases, but not with interpersonal relationships. Uh no, I'm going to decided on my own. I wrote I'm going to speak to him about how I feel and decide where I relationship will go from there. The advice on here helped me realize that I really need to talk to him about a few things before we even think about going further in our relationship. 1
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 I knew this on really HOT babe that worked at the gym, the front desk, 6 feet tall, slender and sexy, she did a lot of swimsuit modeling/competing, had the MySpace photos to prove it, and even starred on a reality show as well for a season. Anyhow, she was dating her boyfriend who was in his mid to early 40's, and had a son about 18/19...and the girlfriend was 21. As thes one, I'd probably be drooling all over "my dad's girlfriend", and how ...as a guy like him, would not be tempted to hit on his own dad's g/f? LOL He wound up cheating on her anyways, so she got married to some other male "orbiter" and moved off into the country in no-man's land and landed a regular job as some kind of building inspector. this was a little random....
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I really like this guy. He has certain qualities that attracts me to him. He really is the first guy that hasn't hurt me. I'm putting him on a pedastool and I shouldnt even though I can't help it... I understand you like him, bu why?What qualities does he have that attract you to him? And you shouldn't put him on a pedastool. And yes, you can help it. He is a man, and from the information you gave, an emotionally stunted one.
xxoo Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I really like this guy. He has certain qualities that attracts me to him. He really is the first guy that hasn't hurt me. I'm putting him on a pedastool and I shouldnt even though I can't help it... If you've been hurt in the past, "not hurting" can be very comforting. But relationships do get much better than that. In a good relationship, you will feel that you can be who you are, and let him be who he is, and build each other up. A good relationship is a significantly positive force in your life.
Professor X Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Yeah, I think I can. My parents did it. I dont think its impossible to do it. If he see me as he see his son(which he doesnt) then that is disgusting because I'm not a child or a baby. I just prefer older guys it's not a father figure thing... Than I promise you your parents did not work on any issues. It was just one of them accepting (the younger one) accepting the submissive role he/she was given. Sorry, but you haven't lived live to think you can work it out. It's like saying that if you try really hard, you'll be able to divide by zero. You can't. And while you are not a baby nor a child, you are a teenager - you're just 19, you are not mature, you're only 2 years older than his son, how much better and wiser do you think you are compared to him? Only cause you have a fetish for guys twice your age does not mean you equal them. Do you think you can "work things out" with kids who are 12? how about 6? No? What makes you think it's different when he's 40 and you're 19. When you'll be 40, you'll see you wouldn't be able to stand on equal grounds as those who are 20.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 I understand you like him, bu why?What qualities does he have that attract you to him? And you shouldn't put him on a pedastool. And yes, you can help it. He is a man, and from the information you gave, an emotionally stunted one. He's kind, generous, easy to talk to, and overall a nice person. And I like him for that.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 Than I promise you your parents did not work on any issues. It was just one of them accepting (the younger one) accepting the submissive role he/she was given. Sorry, but you haven't lived live to think you can work it out. It's like saying that if you try really hard, you'll be able to divide by zero. You can't. And while you are not a baby nor a child, you are a teenager - you're just 19, you are not mature, you're only 2 years older than his son, how much better and wiser do you think you are compared to him? Only cause you have a fetish for guys twice your age does not mean you equal them. Do you think you can "work things out" with kids who are 12? how about 6? No? What makes you think it's different when he's 40 and you're 19. When you'll be 40, you'll see you wouldn't be able to stand on equal grounds as those who are 20. I am way more mature than his son. Well there is a difference between me and a 12 year old. I'm an adult and a 12 year old is not. We are both adults in my relationship. And I dont have a fetish for older men. It's a preference.
Professor X Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I am way more mature than his son. Since when is 2 years way more? arrogance much?
xxoo Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Since when is 2 years way more? arrogance much? I understand what she is saying. There can be a huge maturity gap between even two 19 year olds. I know some who I would trust to drive my kids, or house sit for me, and some who I would never, ever trust with my kids or my house I believe Kat is mature for 19. I was mature for my age at 19, too. But I'm closer to her bf's age now, and mature for 19 does NOT equal the maturity of the average 40 year old. A "mature" 19 year old might be equal to the average 25 year old, or so. Not 40. 1
The Humbler Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 This has future three-way written all over it All kidding aside, go make up with your dad so you can stop looking for affection from a creep who would date a teenage girl half his age.
Radu Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 (edited) Alright, so when I was your age, even older, I wouldn't ever really be vocal about what I liked or didn't like. If a man did something with me sexually, I sort of just accepted it. So I am going to share some wisdom. Speak up. Tell him, kindly, if you are going to continue in your relationship with him, that you enjoy when he is more gentle and softer with you to charm you into bed. don't say "I hate when you do xyz." Compliment him on the ways he treats you when you like it and tell him, "You know what I like? I like when you xyz..." Although, I personally don't think you should keep seeing him but if you are, you got to speak up about the sex thing. It's hard. I stil have trouble sometimes. l think a lot of men don't really know what good sex is anymore and I think a lot of women have become conditioned just to accept whatever a man wants to do because that's really what popular media sexually teaches. Younger girls generally don't speak up at all, they don't feed information. That's the one thing we notice with older women. Good example on how to say it, that's another thing we absolutely hate about women, saying it like an imputation leads to feeling nagged and nobody wants that ... man or woman. So eventually the partner who feels nagged gets 'tuned out'. It's not that we don't know what good sex is, it's that we aren't told what good sex is to you. You have the honeymoon phase in which couple's little uwritten rules are made, and in which also they get into a routine about sex. Because it's the honeymoon phase, women don't speak up for 'making the relationship good' or whatever reason. Then later on when something needs to be renegotiated/rehashed, she doesn't speak up because now it's habit [or whatever other reason]. After a while because she does something that she hates, she decides to become a martyr about it and just let it be. The next step is resentment towards the one you untill recently loved, and with backwards rationalization you may even get marital history rewriting, just her reality. So resentment builds up slowly and slowly untill she is out of love/affection and thus the ground without the guy knowing is ready for an affair. I have seen this happen with 2 couples whom i was friends with in the last 2yrs. It is very important to speak up. I am way more mature than his son. Well there is a difference between me and a 12 year old. I'm an adult and a 12 year old is not. We are both adults in my relationship. And I dont have a fetish for older men. It's a preference. I really hope you save this thread's bookmark in your browser and you revisit it 1yr from now. I hope you also post in it. Of the 3 of you, the only 'mature' one is his son. Edited May 16, 2012 by Radu
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 This has future three-way written all over it All kidding aside, go make up with your dad so you can stop looking for affection from a creep who would date a teenage girl half his age. O_o my dad has nothing to do with my relationships. I like older guys nothing is going to change that. He's not a creep :/
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 Younger girls generally don't speak up at all, they don't feed information. That's the one thing we notice with older women. Good example on how to say it, that's another thing we absolutely hate about women, saying it like an imputation leads to feeling nagged and nobody wants that ... man or woman. So eventually the partner who feels nagged gets 'tuned out'. It's not that we don't know what good sex is, it's that we aren't told what good sex is to you. You have the honeymoon phase in which couple's little uwritten rules are made, and in which also they get into a routine about sex. Because it's the honeymoon phase, women don't speak up for 'making the relationship good' or whatever reason. Then later on when something needs to be renegotiated/rehashed, she doesn't speak up because now it's habit [or whatever other reason]. After a while because she does something that she hates, she decides to become a martyr about it and just let it be. The next step is resentment towards the one you untill recently loved, and with backwards rationalization you may even get marital history rewriting, just her reality. So resentment builds up slowly and slowly untill she is out of love/affection and thus the ground without the guy knowing is ready for an affair. I have seen this happen with 2 couples whom i was friends with in the last 2yrs. It is very important to speak up. I really hope you save this thread's bookmark in your browser and you revisit it 1yr from now. I hope you also post in it. Of the 3 of you, the only 'mature' one is his son. Uhh I speak up when it comes to that stuff. And, that is your opinion.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 Since when is 2 years way more? arrogance much? 2 years makes a huge difference when it comes to guys
Radu Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Uhh I speak up when it comes to that stuff. And, that is your opinion. You are on a continuum, there is no 'now'. We [ppl] are in a constant state of flux where we let our interactions, our preferences influence our future 'us'. You are right now at one of the points in your life where changes [psychological] happen at an accelerated pace. The 'you' of now will be much different from the 'you' of 1yr from now because of this but also because you see this guy in a very special light. On the other hand, he has issues and they are pretty obvious in this thread if he behaves the way he does in regards to his son, to his friends, to you ... So, of the 3 of you ... who is the only one who didn't go willingly in this scenario ? That's right, his son. --- I really hope you save this bookmark.
FitChick Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I just think it would be a shame for her to miss out on the experience of dating hot, fun college guys while she is a college girl. Guys at the same stage of life. That's part of the whole college experience, one you cannot duplicate later. After graduation when she is in the work force, she can have an affair with her boss.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 I just think it would be a shame for her to miss out on the experience of dating hot, fun college guys while she is a college girl. Guys at the same stage of life. That's part of the whole college experience, one you cannot duplicate later. After graduation when she is in the work force, she can have an affair with her boss. Psh, I'm not interested in those drunk, dependent, meat heads. Even the "stable" ones annoy the hell out of me. I'm not missing out on anything bahaha affair with the boss is so cliche.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 You are on a continuum, there is no 'now'. We [ppl] are in a constant state of flux where we let our interactions, our preferences influence our future 'us'. You are right now at one of the points in your life where changes [psychological] happen at an accelerated pace. The 'you' of now will be much different from the 'you' of 1yr from now because of this but also because you see this guy in a very special light. On the other hand, he has issues and they are pretty obvious in this thread if he behaves the way he does in regards to his son, to his friends, to you ... So, of the 3 of you ... who is the only one who didn't go willingly in this scenario ? That's right, his son. --- I really hope you save this bookmark. You really are mean :/
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 Tell me about your father clarice... Who the heck is clarice?
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