Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I can't stop thinking about the son bringing home dates and not knowing that dad would having nothing to do with women the age of the women he is bringing home.....like I wonder if he would feel scared to leave his dates alone with dad. Yeah totally! I just heard a story about a Mom that when she goes out with her daughter, macs on men her daughter's age. Her daughter was really upset about it naturally and was trying to tell her Mom how much it bothered her but her Mom wanted to bang young guys. I think I would have been tramatized if I was 16/17 and my Mom was dating 18 year old guys. It's just not right.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Why?....... I think I've explained why in my lengthy previous posts to K.
LittlePrince Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I think I've explained why in my lengthy previous posts to K. Oh you mean your creepy fantasy of the step daddy or mommy getting with their step "child" That's not a reason for it not being right.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Oh you mean your creepy fantasy of the step daddy or mommy getting with their step "child" That's not a reason for it not being right. Yeah, that's not even anything I said.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 Yes, him having a teenage child does change things. I mean, a guy that age dating a teenager is strange enough. A guy that age, with a kid close to that age, dating someone close to his son age, even further off. Imagine if his son was a daughter. Would he be dating her friends? He is in essence dating girls that could be friends/dating partners with his own son. Look, he may be a great guy. I don't know. I don't know how you define what makes a great guy. But know this. Just because someone treats you nicely in the moments of dating, just because someone opens doors for you or takes you out to dinner, doesn't mean they are a great guy. If you want to spend your life with this man you have to think about how he is treating his son. He babies his son but he treats you like a woman. Something isn't right there. It's a little bit creepy to be hoenst. His son is angry but he is obivious about it? Even if his son tried to hide it from Dad, parents should know their kids pretty to still know when something is off. He probably doesn't care much about how his son feels about (although he should) and he's a hypocrite if he's babies his son but is banging you. Sorry. The entire thing is simply creepy K. I seriously get feeling mature at a certain age. But really don't have any idea at this moment in time how much your going to change. And I don't say that to be condsending or to make it seem like you aren't mature for your age. But I'm tell you, you are going to look at things different in another 5 years. Please seriously consider all the comments I made. Do you think this guy would be dating you if you were his age? What happens when you are that age. Why does he baby his son but date someone closer to his son's age then his own. These don't really speak of a great long term potential mate. yeah, I am kinda worried about what if I get older thing sometimes. And yeah, that is not cool how he contradicts himself as far as how he treats his son and me. Which is why his son is a major problem, it makes things creepy/weird as heck. 1
Radu Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Maybe...he doesnt phase me how good looking he will get or how old his father will become. It bothers me when he brings his friends over now, and his dad treats them like babies. So, for him to treat guys 16, 17, even 18 like a child,and then in that same moment make out with me....it irks me. But you are a baby too. What irks you is that he treats kids, very close to your age as babies. I think it reminds you of the age gap. And the fact that at 3months you have met his kid [he is still a kid] is worry enough. Normal parents don't introduce the next uncle/aunt that quickly to their kids, because their kids are the primary focus of their lives. Ask any single mom/dad and they will tell you this. What's even more worrying is that he either doesn't know his son dislikes you, or he doesn't care [rose colored glasses or idiot ... take your pick]. And your attitude about all of this is like that of the stereotypical wicked step-mom from stories, who can't wait to send her stepchildren to boarding school and sever the ties ... except it's college in this case. You have been together for 3 months only, and the fact that you discount that you may still be in honeymoon phase [you still gave no examples of things about him you dislike], shows exactly how 'mature' you are.
kaylan Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 (edited) Lmao @ how much teenage kids think they are mature for their age. Thats just something older folks let you believe because they wanna get with you. Ive been told by someone flirting with me before that I am mature for my age. Haha, such lies....all my friends know Im a freaking 15 year old trapped in a 25 year olds body. Have we broken them up yet? That seems to be the entire purpose of LS posting in here. I find it funny how gay relationships are fine. Interracial relationships are fine. Intercultural relationships are fine. Interfaith relationships are fine. Even relationships concerning partners between whom there is a physical disparity are accepted. Yet as soon as there is the slightest age gap all hell breaks loose and the ridiculousness becomes more absurd as the gap grows. Age gaps present inequalities in power dynamics and life experiences. You cant compare them to any of those relationship types you mentioned. Nice try though.It is mainly a Western phenomenon that only came about in the past couple of decades. We care more about protecting our youth in the West. So sue us. In other countries its ok for 50 year old men to marry and sex up 12 year olds. Wanna tell me that is right? Just because a different culture deems something as ok, does not make it right or healthy for the youth involved. Edited May 16, 2012 by kaylan
Krytie TV Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 So, I have no interest in exploring the pedophile comment that has been mentioned here but... Being 38 years old myself, I feel a least a little qualified to mention that you should seriously evaluate what it says about a 39 year old man that he could find any connection with a 19 year old, mature or not (which will always remain to be seen). The thought of being sexually involved with a 19 year old, legal and all, is creepy to me. Granted, I can't speak for all males. Beyond everything you have said about all of the intricacies of the relationship, I feel that this is of a more important issue. Have you considered that just maybe he is using you for sex? I just seriously can't imagine that any real man can be seriously invested in a 19 year old. I honestly think that your feelings and plans won't really matter in a little while, after he has had his fun and decides he is ready to find someone he can actually share a meaningful life with. This is absolutely no indictment on you! But come now.
Krytie TV Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Have we broken them up yet? That seems to be the entire purpose of LS posting in here. I find it funny how gay relationships are fine. Interracial relationships are fine. Intercultural relationships are fine. Interfaith relationships are fine. Even relationships concerning partners between whom there is a physical disparity are accepted. Yet as soon as there is the slightest age gap all hell breaks loose and the ridiculousness becomes more absurd as the gap grows. This is merely my opinion, but this is spoken like someone who is in his 20s and has no moral dilemma with dating a 19-year old. I would be curious to know your age because I'm not sure you have the perspective of a man approaching 40. Just a guess, and I may be wrong.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 But you are a baby too. What irks you is that he treats kids, very close to your age as babies. I think it reminds you of the age gap. And the fact that at 3months you have met his kid [he is still a kid] is worry enough. Normal parents don't introduce the next uncle/aunt that quickly to their kids, because their kids are the primary focus of their lives. Ask any single mom/dad and they will tell you this. What's even more worrying is that he either doesn't know his son dislikes you, or he doesn't care [rose colored glasses or idiot ... take your pick]. And your attitude about all of this is like that of the stereotypical wicked step-mom from stories, who can't wait to send her stepchildren to boarding school and sever the ties ... except it's college in this case. You have been together for 3 months only, and the fact that you discount that you may still be in honeymoon phase [you still gave no examples of things about him you dislike], shows exactly how 'mature' you are. I guess I am in "honeymoon" stage. :/ There's a few things I dont like about him. I dont like how he babies his son, or that he can be sensitive, little aggressive, or jealous sometimes when I talk to his son.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 What kind of things does he do when he is a little aggressive? K, he is jealous when you talk to his son? This is not an emotionally mature men. I wasn't so sure he was competing with his son but this kind of points to him somewhat competing with his own son.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 So, I have no interest in exploring the pedophile comment that has been mentioned here but... Being 38 years old myself, I feel a least a little qualified to mention that you should seriously evaluate what it says about a 39 year old man that he could find any connection with a 19 year old, mature or not (which will always remain to be seen). The thought of being sexually involved with a 19 year old, legal and all, is creepy to me. Granted, I can't speak for all males. Beyond everything you have said about all of the intricacies of the relationship, I feel that this is of a more important issue. Have you considered that just maybe he is using you for sex? I just seriously can't imagine that any real man can be seriously invested in a 19 year old. I honestly think that your feelings and plans won't really matter in a little while, after he has had his fun and decides he is ready to find someone he can actually share a meaningful life with. This is absolutely no indictment on you! But come now. I don't know....him having a son around my age makes me rethink my relationship with him not so much his age. If his son wasn't almost 17 in a few days it would be different. 1
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 What kind of things does he do when he is a little aggressive? K, he is jealous when you talk to his son? This is not an emotionally mature men. I wasn't so sure he was competing with his son but this kind of points to him somewhat competing with his own son. He's pushy and a little aggressive before sex. He doesnt do anything crazy. He just makes me feel uncomfortable and suffocated at first. Other than that he is pretty much mellow. But yeah, every time me and son talk and agree with each other it's like he can't take it. No, its very mature of him in that regards. But, I wouldnt say he is competitive with his son. I think he is just a little jealous when there is no reason to be.
xxoo Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I don't know....him having a son around my age makes me rethink my relationship with him not so much his age. If his son wasn't almost 17 in a few days it would be different. If he treated his son and his son's peers in some super-adult way (treated them with respect, as equals), it might not be so weird. But the combo of treating his teen as a kid, and dating a teen, says something is screwed up with him. Classic mid-life crisis? Chasing his youth, and not thinking rationally?
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 He's pushy and a little aggressive before sex. He doesnt do anything crazy. He just makes me feel uncomfortable and suffocated at first. Other than that he is pretty much mellow. But yeah, every time me and son talk and agree with each other it's like he can't take it. No, its very mature of him in that regards. But, I wouldnt say he is competitive with his son. I think he is just a little jealous when there is no reason to be. Alright, so when I was your age, even older, I wouldn't ever really be vocal about what I liked or didn't like. If a man did something with me sexually, I sort of just accepted it. So I am going to share some wisdom. Speak up. Tell him, kindly, if you are going to continue in your relationship with him, that you enjoy when he is more gentle and softer with you to charm you into bed. don't say "I hate when you do xyz." Compliment him on the ways he treats you when you like it and tell him, "You know what I like? I like when you xyz..." Although, I personally don't think you should keep seeing him but if you are, you got to speak up about the sex thing. It's hard. I stil have trouble sometimes. l think a lot of men don't really know what good sex is anymore and I think a lot of women have become conditioned just to accept whatever a man wants to do because that's really what popular media sexually teaches.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 He's pushy and a little aggressive before sex. He doesnt do anything crazy. He just makes me feel uncomfortable and suffocated at first. Other than that he is pretty much mellow. But yeah, every time me and son talk and agree with each other it's like he can't take it. No, its very mature of him in that regards. But, I wouldnt say he is competitive with his son. I think he is just a little jealous when there is no reason to be. He sounds like a creep with unpleasant issues, to me. Like control issues.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 If he treated his son and his son's peers in some super-adult way (treated them with respect, as equals), it might not be so weird. But the combo of treating his teen as a kid, and dating a teen, says something is screwed up with him. Classic mid-life crisis? Chasing his youth, and not thinking rationally? Exactly. If he treated his son like he treated me it would still be weird because of our ages, but not reallly weird.
ladyabstrused Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Your relationship may seem all good in the beginning, but it will get harder as time goes by. I've just ended my relationship today and I was 18 when I started a relationship with him who was 36 years old. It was a LDR but that's not really the matter here. Thing is, no matter how mature you say you are, you can never reach up to his level because that's the reality of it. As we get to know more about each other, me and him, we start to disagree on a lot of things solely because we just cannot match up. We can't find a balance in our relationship because of our huge age gap. He gets frustrated at times when I just couldn't see things the way he does simply because he's seen it and understood it, but I haven't and I just couldn't understand things the way he did...and it just gets tougher and tougher. Perhaps you need to go through a bit more time with this guy and see where it goes. Though...you should read up on the posts by the other members in my thread here because they gave me very good advice and comments on my relationship issues. The fact that you're dealing with someone much older with a kid about your age, is going to be a lot more tougher. There will be a lot of times he will get jealous, be paranoid and may even think stupid things about you and his son. Unless he's a very secure man (which I don't think so judging from what you said). I would say this relationship needs a lot a lot and tremendous lot of work to make it.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 Alright, so when I was your age, even older, I wouldn't ever really be vocal about what I liked or didn't like. If a man did something with me sexually, I sort of just accepted it. So I am going to share some wisdom. Speak up. Tell him, kindly, if you are going to continue in your relationship with him, that you enjoy when he is more gentle and softer with you to charm you into bed. don't say "I hate when you do xyz." Compliment him on the ways he treats you when you like it and tell him, "You know what I like? I like when you xyz..." Although, I personally don't think you should keep seeing him but if you are, you got to speak up about the sex thing. It's hard. I stil have trouble sometimes. l think a lot of men don't really know what good sex is anymore and I think a lot of women have become conditioned just to accept whatever a man wants to do because that's really what popular media sexually teaches. But, I tell him I feel uncomfortable. Sometimes he stops sometimes he ignores me. I hate being ignored when it comes to sex. It puts me in a dark place
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 Your relationship may seem all good in the beginning, but it will get harder as time goes by. I've just ended my relationship today and I was 18 when I started a relationship with him who was 36 years old. It was a LDR but that's not really the matter here. Thing is, no matter how mature you say you are, you can never reach up to his level because that's the reality of it. As we get to know more about each other, me and him, we start to disagree on a lot of things solely because we just cannot match up. We can't find a balance in our relationship because of our huge age gap. He gets frustrated at times when I just couldn't see things the way he does simply because he's seen it and understood it, but I haven't and I just couldn't understand things the way he did...and it just gets tougher and tougher. Perhaps you need to go through a bit more time with this guy and see where it goes. Though...you should read up on the posts by the other members in my thread here because they gave me very good advice and comments on my relationship issues. The fact that you're dealing with someone much older with a kid about your age, is going to be a lot more tougher. There will be a lot of times he will get jealous, be paranoid and may even think stupid things about you and his son. Unless he's a very secure man (which I don't think so judging from what you said). I would say this relationship needs a lot a lot and tremendous lot of work to make it. I'm sorry to hear that Yeah, I feel the differences here and there. Like he talks about filing taxes and life insurance. And I'm trying to figure out how to parallel park...and his son is another story....I could make it work by going through our differences, but he will always have a son.
Professor X Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I'm sorry to hear that Yeah, I feel the differences here and there. Like he talks about filing taxes and life insurance. And I'm trying to figure out how to parallel park...and his son is another story....I could make it work by going through our differences, but he will always have a son. You can't work on life experience differences, no matter how hard you try. As you said, you don't even know about taxes and yet, you are walking a path that will lead you to be a step-mom to a son who could have sex with you in a couple of years AND it won't even be awkward age-wise unlike what you have now. P.S. I hope you know that he sees you as he sees his son. If you think he takes you more seriously, you are gravely mistaken. By the sound of things, you get the kicks of banging an older guy who's somewhat of a father figure to you and he's getting off banging a hot young chick.
ladyabstrused Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I know what you mean. :\ Well I'm not too sure of this though, what do you plan to do now? I mean, I know you said you're re-thinking the relationship because of the fact that he has a son. Have you concluded anything yet?
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 I know what you mean. :\ Well I'm not too sure of this though, what do you plan to do now? I mean, I know you said you're re-thinking the relationship because of the fact that he has a son. Have you concluded anything yet? There is alot of things that need to be spoken about one on one that I am now seeing. I haven't concluded much yet. I'm just waiting to speak to him about what I'm feeling and about a few things that were mention on here like how does his son feel or how do I feel about his son. I will decided from there I guess.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 But, I tell him I feel uncomfortable. Sometimes he stops sometimes he ignores me. I hate being ignored when it comes to sex. It puts me in a dark place As it should. The red flags keeping piling up here Katyerine. Ignores you sometimes when you tell him something makes you feel uncomfrotable? That is so completely wrong and messed up. Why are you with this guy? Seriousy, what makes you stay with him?
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