InJest Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 I'm curious. What is your relationship with your father like?
Lexii94 Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 I prefer older guys because they are mature and less annoying as far as dating.And despite what my father has or has not done that doesnt define what I am attracted to. And it's not gross -_- it's just weird for me, and I dont know if it's going to last. IT IS gross. Stop trying to convince yourself it's not, and you know it is. Actually your father does DEFINE who you are attracted to. Most girls want men like their father, and if the father was sucky they find someone who would be like their "ideal" father.
Radu Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 I'm currently dating a great guy. I can really see him and I becoming serious, but there is a big age gap. I'm 19 and he is 39. That doesn't really bother me, but he has a son who is 16 turning 17. I'll admit, it's so awkward coming over to his house with his son around. It is really bothering me that his kid is only 2 years younger than me. I don't want to stop dating a great guy because he has a son, but I dont know what to do. Should I stop dating him? I really need some advice. Thanks You haven't mentioned how long you have been dating him. You haven't mentioned if you ever found older guys more attractive as opposed to younger guys, before this guy. You haven't mentioned how his kid feels. You haven't mentioned how your parents feel. Are there things you dislike about him ? Somewhat big of an age gap, i don't think long term it will work.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 You haven't mentioned how long you have been dating him. You haven't mentioned if you ever found older guys more attractive as opposed to younger guys, before this guy. You haven't mentioned how his kid feels. You haven't mentioned how your parents feel. Are there things you dislike about him ? Somewhat big of an age gap, i don't think long term it will work. I mention all that in my other posts except how his son feels. I will see eventually if it works or not. We just have a lot to talk about
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 I'm curious. What is your relationship with your father like? We don't have a relationship. I went to an out of state college to get away from him.
Radu Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 I mention all that in my other posts except how his son feels. I will see eventually if it works or not. We just have a lot to talk about You've been dating this man for 3 months. It wasn't that clear if you always found older guys more attractive, but you did confirm you dislike your dad. His kid hates your guts. Your parents aren't thrilled. You haven't mentioned if there are things about him you dislike, but it doesn't matter. You are not as mature as you think. You are in honeymoon phase of the relationship and you don't even realise this, you are already talking kids and making plans ??? I wanted to know if you always found older guys more attractive, because some girls do have a serious preference for older guys and will always find older guys more attractive, however i think you shouldn't dismiss the influence your father has played on your relationship. Our parents are rolemodels for our future relationships, and unfortunately weather you want someone like him or not he has coloured your views on men. His kid, doesn't like you. In fact you admited it. In a way i think you are hurting him like your dad may have hurt you [you were not clear on this]. Blood is thicker than water, remember this. The fact that this guy would date someone like you over the dislike of his son is a MAJOR red flag. Your parents will never be thrilled. You will start seeing things better once your rose coloured glasses are off, hope you're not pregnant by then [yes, i'm mean]. 1
Lexii94 Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 We don't have a relationship. I went to an out of state college to get away from him. Why? A lot of kids like to stay with their parents. I know I wanted to. What makes your father so bad that you have to go to a different state?
stillafool Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Yeah, he is definitely jealous. Sometimes I edit myself because he just doesnt get it or he finds it kiddie. Also when you and his son are laughing at something he doesn't get it reminds him that he is old enough to be your father and that pisses him off. He will probably be glad when the son goes off to college as well. I wonder what will happen when the son goes off to college as a boy and returns as a a man how you will feel and view him. The son is going to get better looking as the father is turning into an old man. It will be interesting when the son brings home friends from college as well how you will react.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 You've been dating this man for 3 months. It wasn't that clear if you always found older guys more attractive, but you did confirm you dislike your dad. His kid hates your guts. Your parents aren't thrilled. You haven't mentioned if there are things about him you dislike, but it doesn't matter. You are not as mature as you think. You are in honeymoon phase of the relationship and you don't even realise this, you are already talking kids and making plans ??? I wanted to know if you always found older guys more attractive, because some girls do have a serious preference for older guys and will always find older guys more attractive, however i think you shouldn't dismiss the influence your father has played on your relationship. Our parents are rolemodels for our future relationships, and unfortunately weather you want someone like him or not he has coloured your views on men. His kid, doesn't like you. In fact you admited it. In a way i think you are hurting him like your dad may have hurt you [you were not clear on this]. Blood is thicker than water, remember this. The fact that this guy would date someone like you over the dislike of his son is a MAJOR red flag. Your parents will never be thrilled. You will start seeing things better once your rose coloured glasses are off, hope you're not pregnant by then [yes, i'm mean]. He doesnt even know his son doesnt like me. He acts nice to me when his dad is around, and even when he isnt around he is kinda nice, but certain comments and gestures he makes shows that he doesnt like me. Ha, I dont have rose colored glasses on. I'm just trying to be optimistic, and not end something that has a chance to work.
serial muse Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 He doesnt even know his son doesnt like me. He acts nice to me when his dad is around, and even when he isnt around he is kinda nice, but certain comments and gestures he makes shows that he doesnt like me. Ha, I dont have rose colored glasses on. I'm just trying to be optimistic, and not end something that has a chance to work. I doubt it's that he doesn't like you then. I suspect it's more that he doesn't know how to interact with you - you aren't an authority figure or a parent figure. He sees you as a peer, most likely, which is odd and probably confusing for him, since you're dating his parent.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 He doesnt even know his son doesnt like me. He acts nice to me when his dad is around, and even when he isnt around he is kinda nice, but certain comments and gestures he makes shows that he doesnt like me. Ha, I dont have rose colored glasses on. I'm just trying to be optimistic, and not end something that has a chance to work. Then he doesn't really talk to his son if he doesn't know how his son feels about you. And if he never asked his son how he feels about you, then that shows he probably really doesn't care what his son thinks over his personal happiness. Which alludes to a selfishness. Think hard about this. When you are 30 or 39, how do you think you will view a man that dates someone that is 19. Also think about when this man is older and your older and living your life together, will you be okay if he is still checking out and thinking about 19 year olds as you get older.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 Also when you and his son are laughing at something he doesn't get it reminds him that he is old enough to be your father and that pisses him off. He will probably be glad when the son goes off to college as well. I wonder what will happen when the son goes off to college as a boy and returns as a a man how you will feel and view him. The son is going to get better looking as the father is turning into an old man. It will be interesting when the son brings home friends from college as well how you will react. Maybe...he doesnt phase me how good looking he will get or how old his father will become. It bothers me when he brings his friends over now, and his dad treats them like babies. So, for him to treat guys 16, 17, even 18 like a child,and then in that same moment make out with me....it irks me.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Maybe...he doesnt phase me how good looking he will get or how old his father will become. It bothers me when he brings his friends over now, and his dad treats them like babies. So, for him to treat guys 16, 17, even 18 like a child,and then in that same moment make out with me....it irks me. Okay, that's even further gross. It should irk you. It's both a red flag and a double standard and doesn't speak well of his emotional health to treat males around your age liek babies but think your old enough to make out with him.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 I doubt it's that he doesn't like you then. I suspect it's more that he doesn't know how to interact with you - you aren't an authority figure or a parent figure. He sees you as a peer, most likely, which is odd and probably confusing for him, since you're dating his parent. Yeah, it probably is. But, I can't talk to him, thats a talk about how he feels with his father. I know I would feel awkward if my mother dated someone who was 21.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 Okay, that's even further gross. It should irk you. It's both a red flag and a double standard and doesn't speak well of his emotional health to treat males around your age liek babies but think your old enough to make out with him. It is a double standard, and it pisses me off. At the time I was 18 when that happen(I just turned 19). Not once had he treated me like a child. Being that he has a teenage son really changes everything. He is a great guy, but still...
LittlePrince Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Have we broken them up yet? That seems to be the entire purpose of LS posting in here. I find it funny how gay relationships are fine. Interracial relationships are fine. Intercultural relationships are fine. Interfaith relationships are fine. Even relationships concerning partners between whom there is a physical disparity are accepted. Yet as soon as there is the slightest age gap all hell breaks loose and the ridiculousness becomes more absurd as the gap grows. 1
FitChick Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 I think it is much ado about nothing. This relationship is her going through a rebellious phase subconsciously trying to shock her parents. The longer she spends in college, interacting with guys her own age, some of whom are actually quite mature and focused on their futures, and compares this man to her fellow students' parents, the thrill will be gone. I wonder how long this man has been divorced and if him dating her isn't just a way to stick it to his ex-wife. I also wonder if the OP has had other sexual partners or if she lost her virginity to him.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 I think it is much ado about nothing. This relationship is her going through a rebellious phase subconsciously trying to shock her parents. The longer she spends in college, interacting with guys her own age, some of whom are actually quite mature and focused on their futures, and compares this man to her fellow students' parents, the thrill will be gone. I wonder how long this man has been divorced and if him dating her isn't just a way to stick it to his ex-wife. I also wonder if the OP has had other sexual partners or if she lost her virginity to him. I'm not rebelling. My decisions are what I want as far as relationships. He's been divorced for 10 years!!! Him and his wife have already moved on... No, I didnt lose my virginity to him, that was taken a while ago.
Author Katyerine8993 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 Have we broken them up yet? That seems to be the entire purpose of LS posting in here. I find it funny how gay relationships are fine. Interracial relationships are fine. Intercultural relationships are fine. Interfaith relationships are fine. Even relationships concerning partners between whom there is a physical disparity are accepted. Yet as soon as there is the slightest age gap all hell breaks loose and the ridiculousness becomes more absurd as the gap grows. Hmm, I think quite a bit of people have issues with age gaps. But a person can't help what he or she wants.
LittlePrince Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 I think it is much ado about nothing. This relationship is her going through a rebellious phase subconsciously trying to shock her parents. The longer she spends in college, interacting with guys her own age, some of whom are actually quite mature and focused on their futures, and compares this man to her fellow students' parents, the thrill will be gone. I wonder how long this man has been divorced and if him dating her isn't just a way to stick it to his ex-wife. I also wonder if the OP has had other sexual partners or if she lost her virginity to him. Someone is very bitter over this topic.
LittlePrince Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Hmm, I think quite a bit of people have issues with age gaps. But a person can't help what he or she wants. It is mainly a Western phenomenon that only came about in the past couple of decades.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 It is a double standard, and it pisses me off. At the time I was 18 when that happen(I just turned 19). Not once had he treated me like a child. Being that he has a teenage son really changes everything. He is a great guy, but still... Yes, him having a teenage child does change things. I mean, a guy that age dating a teenager is strange enough. A guy that age, with a kid close to that age, dating someone close to his son age, even further off. Imagine if his son was a daughter. Would he be dating her friends? He is in essence dating girls that could be friends/dating partners with his own son. Look, he may be a great guy. I don't know. I don't know how you define what makes a great guy. But know this. Just because someone treats you nicely in the moments of dating, just because someone opens doors for you or takes you out to dinner, doesn't mean they are a great guy. If you want to spend your life with this man you have to think about how he is treating his son. He babies his son but he treats you like a woman. Something isn't right there. It's a little bit creepy to be hoenst. His son is angry but he is obivious about it? Even if his son tried to hide it from Dad, parents should know their kids pretty to still know when something is off. He probably doesn't care much about how his son feels about (although he should) and he's a hypocrite if he's babies his son but is banging you. Sorry. The entire thing is simply creepy K. I seriously get feeling mature at a certain age. But really don't have any idea at this moment in time how much your going to change. And I don't say that to be condsending or to make it seem like you aren't mature for your age. But I'm tell you, you are going to look at things different in another 5 years. Please seriously consider all the comments I made. Do you think this guy would be dating you if you were his age? What happens when you are that age. Why does he baby his son but date someone closer to his son's age then his own. These don't really speak of a great long term potential mate. 2
pink_sugar Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 He might treat boys your age differently because he has a son that age. Does he have a daughter? My guess is it may be different if he did, but maybe not. After my dad's divorce from his ex, he's looking at foreign girls my age (He's 27 years older than me, so he's almost 50) and thinks nothing of it. Why he wants to get into the same predicament as before is beyond me. People actually made a big deal of me being 16 while I dated my husband when he was 22. However, I can see why you are dating someone so much older. You seem very mature for your age. I honestly couldn't be with a man younger than mid to late twenties (I'm 23). I want someone who's past all the partying, clubbing and is finishing or has finished up school and has a good paying job.
pink_sugar Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Someone is very bitter over this topic. My dad actually did use that tactic when he was with his exW and still hung up on his exgf after she dumped him. Apparently he was so in love with her and couldn't call it quits when she made it clear she was done with him. Not only did he show off his size 2, young 24 year old girlfriend, but he dressed up as his ex's new boyfriend and brought a blow up nurse doll (she's a nurse) talk about immature!
6ft180natl Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I feel bad for his son, if this post is real. No person dates someone this close to their children's age unless they are emotionally stunted. I can't stop thinking about the son bringing home dates and not knowing that dad would having nothing to do with women the age of the women he is bringing home.....like I wonder if he would feel scared to leave his dates alone with dad.
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