Is it just 'Friends' or perhaps something more?

[gearsofwar]

Me and my ex girlfriend of 3 years have made amends so we are now on a 'friends' basis after 3 months of being apart, she still wants me to hang out with her but it's usually in public places, so were not going back to each other places (apartment/house) but we do plan to meet again in the next couple of days.

 

To get straight to the point, she said she's trying to 'move on' but doesn't want to ruin a great friendship, but my ex has on a couple of occasion's hinted saying she's going out on a 'date' with other guys and I try to remain neutral in the scenario, not to react and try to be happy for her because in truth I'm doing the same with girls, but I don't intentionally brag or rub it in her face like she seems to be doing with me.

 

When we spend time together I pick up on subtle hints like her brushing up against me more than accidentally, poking fun at mild insecurities, inside jokes (things we used to say when we were together) and couple of times I've managed to pull off the 'imaginary hair/lint' with little joke to test the water with her and she doesn't freak out or feel awkward about it.

 

I may be opening a can of worms for myself here, but do you think if I keep 'advancing' and she ends up responding negatively to it she'll blow the whole 'friends' thing off and we'll be back to no contact (she has said in the past - pretty much in argument form, if I try to 'force' our relationship back together she'll cut all ties with me completely).

 

In truth I really do want another shot with her, as I feel I've addressed the underlying problems as to why we broke up, mostly it was me being too needy which I can respect as I felt depressed with work/finances etc. which is now back under reasonable control.

 

But right now, I can't help but think, is she 'comparing' me to her dates (if she is actually dating other people), seeing if I've really improved for the better or is this all just to get a reaction out of me.

 

The other side of the coin tells me I should take control of this situation and make my decision and not fall into old habit with 'approval seeking behaviour' on this matter.

 

It feels like I'm letting her have the power over what should happen next.

 

 

Thank you for reading, I'd appreciate your advice and thoughts.

Edited May 14, 2012 by gearsofwar
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[gearsofwar]

*Note to administrators*

 

Please could you close/delete this thread as I realised in hindsight that this post is in the wrong topic but noticed too late to change this myself - Apologies in advance.