WhereYouWantToBe Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 (edited) I have been with my girlfriend for about 6 months now. She is older than me. By a handful of years (under 5). She has had 2 serious relationships before me. My last relationship was years ago, and it had lasted under a year. I was cheated on. I have lived a very successful single life for years. I have also seen/dated other girls before her. Never called any of them my girlfriend though. Those girl all kind of walked out on me or ended it and did not want to take the next step. My job requires me to travel a lot of the year. I have her visit or come with me whenever her schedule allows it. I am a very honest person. Would never or have never cheated on anyone. My problem is. I can not get comfortable and relax lately. I am really afraid and concerned with being hurt. We tell each other we love one another. She says everything right and then some. We spend 5 out of 7 night out of the week together. When we are not together I let my mind travel to places it should not. I worry about sincerity. I have not felt these feelings for anyone before. She has. We do not live together, she has lived with a guy before. I guess I write this with two concerns. Just looking for some pointers and advice. Edited May 14, 2012 by WhereYouWantToBe
january2011 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 I've found that six months is usually a make-or-break turning point. Unless she's done anything to warrant your uneasiness, I think this one's on you. Perhaps you're worried that she'll leave you like the others did or she'll cheat on you. And to mitigate that potential hurt you want to pull out first. Perhaps there's also an element of never having been in an LTR before and you're scared because it's a real possibility now. She's had two serious relationships and you don't mention previous incidents of cheating on her part, so she's got a good track record. I suggest having an open and honest talk with her about this. Keep the communication flowing on a regular basis so that your mind doesn't get too many opportunities to wander. On her part, all she can do is be consistent and honest over a period of time to continue to earn your trust. The belief part has got to come from you. Just keep talking and passing the ball back and forth. Bbefore you know it, you'll reach another milestone, which could be a year or it could be moving in together, for example. 1
Christine52 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Whenever you're dating, anytime before marriage really, you need to guard your heart. This means, don't give it all away so soon until you are married. Why? People break up for ALL sorts of reasons. You really don't want to give your heart and soul to someone who may not reciprocate. That being said, it's completely cool to be invested into the relationship and truly care about a person. But, always always always remember that your heart comes first. Invest in the relationship, have fun, but always know in the back of your mind that there's a chance it may not be forever, and if that's the case you WILL be okay, and you WILL find someone where it is
thatone Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 if you're as happy as you say you are with her, don't dwell on it. for god's sake don't bring up any doubt to her. day by day.
Author WhereYouWantToBe Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 I am new to this website. Not sure how to really reply to responses. 1st Reply- She has never cheated in her past. She fell out of love with her first boyfriend, and her 2nd boyfriend had left her. Neal- it's funny you say that about doubt day by day. It has happened. Not so much doubt but questioning things that I should not about her past.
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