shatteredimage Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 First time posting here but I have been lurking and reading others comments and advice for awhile. Seems to be a pretty good site for those that are looking for help. I am trying to determine what my ex g/f is trying to do with regards to our relationship. or lack of relationship. We have dated for 5 years and she broke it off 2 summers ago because she said she needed space. I stayed away for the next 7 months while she decided what she wanted. We got back together on New Years of last year and she has been hot/cold ever since. Sex is almost non existent and she is content with seeing me only on the weekends although I would rather see her more often. Last month she told me she unsure of what she wanted so I have been NC since then. She will text me just about every day to say something completely irrelevant. Whenever I attempt to talk with her about where she sees the relationship going, she tells me she's not sure. We have not seen each other in a month and there has been one phone call initiated by her. My gut tells me she has friendzoned me. Any opinions would be appreciated. She is 40 and I am 48.
flitzanu Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 First time posting here but I have been lurking and reading others comments and advice for awhile. Seems to be a pretty good site for those that are looking for help. I am trying to determine what my ex g/f is trying to do with regards to our relationship. or lack of relationship. We have dated for 5 years and she broke it off 2 summers ago because she said she needed space. I stayed away for the next 7 months while she decided what she wanted. We got back together on New Years of last year and she has been hot/cold ever since. Sex is almost non existent and she is content with seeing me only on the weekends although I would rather see her more often. Last month she told me she unsure of what she wanted so I have been NC since then. She will text me just about every day to say something completely irrelevant. Whenever I attempt to talk with her about where she sees the relationship going, she tells me she's not sure. We have not seen each other in a month and there has been one phone call initiated by her. My gut tells me she has friendzoned me. Any opinions would be appreciated. She is 40 and I am 48. yup, sounds like friendzone to me too. if she "doesn't know what she wants" that means she doesn't want you. she's keeping you on the backburner. i say drop her and find someone that wants to be with you by choice, not as an option. 1
wilsonx Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 backburner is such a rational term for irrational behavior. It doesnt even describe it correctly. Shes trying to figure out what she wants, she probably knows deep down its you hence the constant contact but shes still a shadow of her former self trying to find her. Let her find her for the time being and you figure out what you want. THE LAST THING YOU DO TO SOMEONE LIKE THIS IS PRESSURE OR PUT PRESSURE ON THEM 2
GorillaTheater Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 If you're soliciting votes, mine, as a man a year older than you, is to move on. Life's too short for this sort of BS.
Author shatteredimage Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 I agree that I need to distance myself from her right now. I do love her and we have always got along well although we have never developed a deep, romantic bond you would expect from a relationship of 5 years. I'm beginning to wonder if she is either emotionally unavailable or afraid to commit to the next step of the relationship. When asked, she say's she doesn't know if she could ever marry again or even live with someone because she has been on her own for so long. As far as the intimacy part, she runs hot and cold, mostly cold. I have a difficult time with that.
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