roo9041 Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 I have recently gotten back together with my ex. I am currently 21 and he is 23. We started dating when I was 17, and he was 19. We broke up right around when he turned 21, but got back together a year later. When me and my bf (Keath) were together the first time around it was during the brunt of my sisters alcohol problem. Liz (said sister) was still living at home, and making my life a living nightmare. He was the one who would stay on the phone with me all hours of the night making sure everything was okay. This is when I started to take my position on drinking and the damage it plays in someone’s life. His mother too is and was an alcoholic so we managed to bond due to these unfortunate examples. When we first broke up he however took to drinking, and eventually became what I consider to be an alcoholic. He would go out virtually every night of the week and get drunk. Last year he was driving home from a party with his friend behind the wheel who was drunk just as well as Keath. The ended up getting into an accident and the two of them have to get life lighted. Keath right then and there swore off of drinking, and since that day has not been drunk once, BUT that does not say he quit drinking. About four or five nights a week he will go and buy himself a six pack of 16oz Coors Light and finish them off by himself. He will not get drunk but nonetheless he still manages to drink. I do not know if I am being uptight due to the past I share with my sister or if this is a legitimate fear I am having, but there is one other twist to this story. When me and Keath broke up and he was drinking heavily I expressed my fears to him full on. I nagged, I mean personed, and I cried. He always felt bad, but we were not together so when we would go a month or so without talking he would always go right back to where he was. Now here we are back together and in effect happier then ever. I did not want to become that uptight, overly sensitive girlfriend, so I told him I was more then okay with him drinking as long as he is not getting drunk… not because I was okay with it but more because I did not want to pester him. So, we have yet to talk about how I am feeling because I do not want to be a hypocrite. Just last night we were laying in bed and he told me how much I have changed because back then if he were to have one beer I would have jumped down his throat. (Which is true) and now I don’t. His drinking is not doing any physical harm to anyone. He only drinks in his own house, and he does not go anywhere else. He does not drink to the point of drunkenness, and he does stop himself after having that six pack. I understand his job is hard and stressful, and this is why I do not know if I am still being overly sensitive, and uptight, or if I have a genuine fear.
cinnamonstix49 Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 Roo- You aren't being overly sensitive, you have every reason to be concerned. You should never hide your feelings from him, if you really love him... just try to choose a good time for both of you to talk about it. You wouldn't be a hypocrite, just a concerned girlfriend, you don't want to lose him too.
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