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I am stuck in a very complicated situation


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Posted

My best friend just cheated on his engaged Girlfriend of 6 years (they have two kids together).

 

I consider him basically my brother, and I consider her my sister.

 

The girl he cheated with is a girl I was dating with before, and I find out he hooked up with her while he got me to date her in the first place.

 

I believe what HE did was wrong, and I am on the girlfriends side, yet I have been best friends with him for 15 years, and I have no idea what to do.

 

The girl is messaging me like crazy, while he is doing the opposite and refuses to talk to me.

 

what do I do?

Posted

Don't get involved.

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Posted

If she is messaging you like crazy, she already knows something is up. That's for them to work out on their own. As others say, don't get involved. Even you don't know all the pertinent facts. Above all don't let them press you into mediating.

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Posted
If she is messaging you like crazy, she already knows something is up. That's for them to work out on their own. As others say, don't get involved. Even you don't know all the pertinent facts. Above all don't let them press you into mediating.

 

Staying out of it is not really an option anymore, I have been there friends for ages, I can't ignore either in the biggest time of need.

 

If I ignored her and eventually ignored him, They will feel like I don't wanna be friends with them anymore, I can't lose my two biggest people in my life over this, not going to happen.

Posted

Don't do/say a thing. If this woman is crazy she will show her true colors soon enough. And his longtime gf will eventually see him for who he really is.

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Posted
Don't do/say a thing. If this woman is crazy she will show her true colors soon enough. And his longtime gf will eventually see him for who he really is.

 

I feel so bad for her, she never cheated before, and has been such a good person to him. :(

Posted
I feel so bad for her, she never cheated before, and has been such a good person to him. :(

First of all, you don't know that to a certainty. Second, this woman is not realted to you by blood so you have no obligations to her. Your buddy should have never told you about his cheating and put in this uncomfortable position. However, what's done is done. Your primary concern should be avoiding the fallout that will inevitably result from all this drama. Don't feel that you have to be captain save a hoe just because you've known this girl for a long time. It sucks that she got cheated on but it's not your job to set things right.

Posted
Don't get involved.

 

I absolutely agree with this. You are in no position to pick sides, that isn't your job nor your responsibility. Stay out of it and let them figure it out on their own. If they ask why you are being distant, say you have some personal issues that need resolving and you would appreciate the time alone.

Posted

You should not involve in this matter...Stay apart from this for a time then after some time, when the things will be different, you can decide that what you want to do......

Posted

send them both the same text:

 

"Guys, I love you both, and you both mean the world to me, but you guys are having some serious issues and it's unfair of you to involve me.

you need to both be upfront, honest and loving with each other, but please don't pull me into the mix.

sort this out for yourselves, because it's breaking my heart and breaking yours. Get on with it, get real, and get down to some serious honest communicating.

But don't involve me."

 

And leave it at that.

They have to grow up and do some living of their own.

They can't expect you to bale them out and do their work for them.

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