Itsonlyme66 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 EX left me 3 months ago after a 6 year engagement/live in relationship. Said "I drove him to it and chased him out" (false.... never wanted something to work more in my life) - So since then we've been talking but I told him I wanted some time alone to think about things, after he hung up on me mid-sentence the other night. (We were NOT fighting. I actually made a point and he had no comeback, so he hung up on me and shut the phone) - he is FIFTY YEARS OLD!!!! Well he finally accused me of cheating (again...and no, I was not cheating because he left me 3 months ago) so I told him "think what you want". I got very tired of him berating me from the next town over.... he's not even here and he texts me insults, calls to slam the phone down in my ear if I try to defend myself, etc. So I'd had enough and told him it was over and to have a good life and leave me alone. Then he decided he wanted to pick up the BBQ grill he left here 3 months ago. Timing, huh? So I said fine. When he arrived, I broke off a date early to get back here to make sure he didn't take anything else. He was loading the grill, and saw me watching him. Then he got into the truck (this took 1 minute) and literally FIRED up the engine and left huge deep tire tracks in the front yard lawn peeling out. This is the man who wants a "mature adult partner in a woman...." Yeah! Projecting much? So I said to myself, ok, no more contact other than this house and I am now free of his insults and side jabs.... along with his judgment of me. Thank God. Then he texted me he was going to shut his phone off for the night. I replied "thank God." Then it STARTED and no, I did NOT respond AT ALL. But he texted the following, in this order, and these are all SEPARATE texts: Thanks for letting me go. Are you with your mom's hairdresser??? what man is it? Thought you would have brought your boyfriend with you when i got the grill..... You work quick. What's his name? Slut I'll tell you mine She's tall with an *** After a couple of f***s he'll be gone like I should have Goodbye whore. Drunken whore...sorry... Noticed you're wearing a dress again to hide your flat ***....jeans don't lie (then he sends me a picture of a random woman at a bar he's at) Tall and thin....Yum (then 3 more pictures of random people at a dive bar who don't even know they are being taken) One of those girls might be in the swing tonight...nice *** and all I'm so happy!!! I'm so over!!! I'm so ready !!!! (another picture of someone?) This is toooo easy who needs Adult Friendfinder...I have to bear them off of me!! I had no idea what I was missing... long overdue! I'm catching up to ya! Wow!! Now I can have them over for a grilled steak and a swing woo hoo party time (that last one came in at 10:42 pm) Then he stopped overnight then this morning I get these and I laughed out loud!: You must be out of your mind to have let (name) go but thanks I'm keeping him (this came from HIS phone... lol) then 4 minutes later he wrote: Sorry about that...another crazy *****...i never get a break...i'm sorry. I have not answered any of this. what is he doing and why???
MissBrunette84 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 To get a reaction. The fact he's 50 and being this immature is just..wow.. I would just not respond to any of his lame attempts to rile you up.
jennisfora Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 sounds pretty dysfunctional. NC, and if needed, restraining order, if you think he will cross the line. but yeah, issues. i would take nothing he says personally, because he is obviously irrational, and probably thought you would be sitting around waiting for him to decide to reenter your life. i think it is about control here, he feels like he is losing control over you, and is making a last ditch effort to hurt you, because he feels crappy. sorry he is so immature for 50. *hugs*
Sophie99 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Sorry he's doing this But you're defiantly doing the right thing by not responding x I expect he just wants a reaction or to get at you, I know it seems strange because he broke up with you, but my ex did the same. All I can guess is that hurts his 'ego' that you are not around at his house or calling all the time begging for him back. Keep up NC xx
xpaperxcutx Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 sounds like a nutjob. your service provider should have a text messaging block function. block him and let him to his miserable little existence.
rAFC Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Sometimes it takes a while to see the blessing in disguise. He did you a favor by setting you free, hopefully you can see that. The only sane thing to do now is cut all contact and move on with your life, this is not someone you want a partnership with.
GG3 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 My ex is 49 and is just an immature. Not as bad as this though. I agree with the must have hurt his ego. Mine dumped me too. He was texting a week ago wanting to know if I found someone. That same ex has started counseling for narcissistic personality disorder when I left...little sidenote there. Lol.
d'Arthez Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 does he have an incredibly small penis? He's probably an extremely large one. 5 feet and a bit. Give or take. He is dying for a reaction. He wants you to acknowledge him as the center point of the universe. Get his number blocked, or if that does not work, change your number. I fear he may not give up anytime soon. 1
flitzanu Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 he is a narcissist. no, he isn't a narcissist. throwing that word around doesn't make him a narcissist, and it really gives us true narcissists a bad rep.
hinatticus Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 That guy is hilarious. Obviously you aren't hurt by any of this but embarrassed for him. He definitely doesn't know how to make someone jealous or even get a rise. It's funny more than anything. He's 50, not 15! That's just sad and hilarious. Don't worry about this clown.
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 In the 6 years you 've been together, were there any signs of this behavior? Seems it all happened at once.
Author Itsonlyme66 Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 Hey B&B Yes, controlling signs of course.... always. I thought that meant "love"..... got conditioned to it - to a point.... even comfortable with that possessive aspect of him. But it got a lot worse....since he left. i thought he was done, you know? now the mean-ness is really starting... and yes, he is a N. He has almost all the characteristics. He is one, even my pyschologist told me so after he left once. TWO days ago he wrote the following texts which I ignored: Staying out late all alone???? right!!!!!! I don't care anymore I'm just glad I found out now. You almost had me sucked back in!! I'm free at last and excited again!!! I can't wait to find her Why didn't you tell me where you were lat night so I could have joined you? oh, I forgot, I'm stupid, you weren't out! Right! (then a picture of his customer at the dealership; some tattooed lady buying a harley) She's buying the harley. I get to ride it home for her and she has a beer waiting for me. First day single and already it's starting...i'm going to be like you Wow!!!! it's starting to hit me now...single for the first time in years! I can't wait to get laid....this is going to be fun for me you almost had me back. You just couldn't keep your pants on long enough...hope he was worth it (i wasn't doing anything wrong. he's projecting...) why didn't you invite me out last night? Stop playing me!!! I'll never believe you. i'm glad it's over Motorcycle girl is nothing. I plan to do much better I want a real lady. Last night I took it hard. Today i don't give a ****! I'm glad you're going to leave me alone...i'm done and i know you are too......good...i'll be by to get my grill. i don't need the cops, do I? no plans to come in. Please don't come out. Bring rubbers when you go out. deleting all your old voice mails...don't waste your time....see ya player i'm going to have the time of my life for the last chapter of my life while i'm still aliver...too bad you won't be around to join in...ur loss but you have him.... i'm down to 235 lbs. the best is yet to cum have fun tonight...i'm now in your world...i'm excited...i'm sure we'll both do fine. (*and then, of course, all those other texts came in the next day that were in the body of me posting above. Crazy.... crazy, pathetic attempts) But then last night did it for me.....I was actually afraid. 245 incoming calls last night from him beginning at 1:44 AM and ending at 2:50 AM or something like that.... 245. I stayed at my ex-husband's last night overnight because it was mother's day and my 11 year old daughter was with him and made me a cake and we were drinking sangria so I said I better stay. I slept in the bed with her inbetween me and him. I came home to find a note in the door from HIM. He was here! He said he went to every bar and past all my friend's homes looking for me. at 2:00 AM!!!! He said I am lying to him, I'm with someone, and just to tell him and he will "leave me alone"...... I had 12 emails when i got home as well telling me he loves me, sending me the link to Hall & Oates "She's Gone"..... saying I am a drinking, smoking, tough guy slut who is going down the "wrong path" and I had better straighten up my life..... and i need to be a good mother and daughter to my mom, and I need to not go down the "wrong path"..... How do you not respond to this????? I mean I watched those incoming calls in the middle of the night and I got chills..... I didn't answer. This morning the phone rang and I picked up (I'm overtired and thought it was my daughter) and omg it was him and he went off calling me a lying c*nt before hanging up on me. Funny thing I wasn't even doing anything bad last night at all....
d'Arthez Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 You respond by going to the police. Getting a restraining order may not be a bad idea. Block his phone number, or if you have to get a new number. 1
Author Itsonlyme66 Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 I'm now looking into blocking him. He is texting now "I love you" "I miss you and adore you" "You're MINE!!!!!" ????? wtf. he left!
tornangel Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 U really need to get a restaining order. This man sounds extremely unsatble. I would be scared if I were you. He sounds obsessed. Seriously , be careful. Ugggh 1
tornangel Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Has he ever been violent to you? Does he have any weapons? 245 calls is seriously scary..... One of my old friends had an ex obsessed with her, and one night she came to drop off their daughter and he walked out and shot her while she was in the car ( while their girl was in the back seat) , and killed her. Then her bf came there to find her and he shot and killed him also. This stuff does happen..
Author Itsonlyme66 Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 No he doesn't have any guns. I can't block him on this phone. i am going to have to get a new phone #. He has 99% of the time been violent with his words and actions, only... not physically. he does NOT want to go to jail. He's writing that he has "concern" for me and wants what is best for me, just like my late father did, and that he told my father that he loved me back in 2006 and he meant it... he's so jealous. we had problems like that in the past where he thought I was making eyes at someone or laughing out loud with someone. i don't know how i got back into this again.
hinatticus Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 This guy sounds crazy now. Obviously has no control over his emotions. 245 calls!? That's nuts. He needs help. I fear that if you completely ignore him he might get crazier. he needs one of his friends to smack some sense into him, and send him to counseling. But he needs to know for himself that he needs help. Love makes people do strange things, but this is crazy!
MissBrunette84 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Not even us, that were madly in love got burned and iorritate our exes with texts and things still never go to the lengths of 245 calls.. cause obviously most people know thats a bit weird.
GG3 Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Who has time to make 245 calls? Talk about erratic. What a nut. I hope you stay safe.
turnera Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 IOM, you know he is mentally ill. So just walk away and never look back. Those people rarely get help and almost never get better. Your abuser is no more special than any other. Change the locks. If he bothers you again, file a police report. Alert all the neighbors that he is not allowed there any more and ask them to call the police if they see him. And read this book: Why Does He Do That? Inside The Minds Of Angry And Controlling Men, by Bancroft, so you can come to grips with WHY you should never ever communicate with him again.
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