SmileFace Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 It's a little ironic because you were basically going to use him as a rebound and then he turned out to be using you as leverage against his ex. Anyways, I'm going to give you another hug! ::hugs I say she uses this on the grounds to see if he may still just want sex. I mean you know for sure he doesn't want you or taking things slow. But big woop you was trying to use him for sex, how is him using you any worse?
Star Gazer Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 She wasn't spending time with him to get him to like her "in that way," but because she thought of him as a friend. Sorry, corrected.
Star Gazer Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Exactly right, SG. I'm not in love with the guy, far from it. I asked him on a date mere hours after I first realized I'd like to get to know him better in a romantic sense (NOT be some instant-girlfriend), I was rejected the very next day. It wasn't long or drawn-out, it wasn't some big saga. I never put him on some pedestal. I saw him as an option along with the ones I already had. I'm on OKC and I have a date with someone else in 2 days that I am very much looking forward to. On top of that, we had already made those plans to get together the previous weekend. It wasn't like "Oh, you just rejected me for a date/I just rejected you, let's hang out tomorrow!" Those of us grounded in reality understand this is what it was. I do see EasyHeart's point though... it is a little ironic. Hey, at least you're not posting about pining after your ex! Whatever it takes to move on, I say. Have fun on your date. 1
Feelsgoodman Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Um, I believe he had ONE conversation (not several conversations) with her that her feelings weren't returned after he read her blog. She's not "accosting" him. She's not trying to change his mind. She was spending time with him to get him to like her "in that way," but because she thought of him as a friend. During that period, she figured out what his real deal was. Umm, have you read her previous posts on this subject?
Author tigressA Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 I say she uses this on the grounds to see if he may still just want sex. I mean you know for sure he doesn't want you or taking things slow. But big woop you was trying to use him for sex, how is him using you any worse? He straight-up rejected me. There's no chance that he wants me 'that' way, whether it's for dating or just sex. And I don't want him anymore. Since yesterday he just looks ugly to me.
Oxy Moronovich Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 I agree with Feelsgoodman. She complains about the way he's behaving but she's still friends with the dude. Why should he be blamed for her masochism?
SmileFace Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 He straight-up rejected me. There's no chance that he wants me 'that' way, whether it's for dating or just sex. And I don't want him anymore. Since yesterday he just looks ugly to me. Understandable I thought it was a more romantic let down. However, good luck on your date.:bunny:
Star Gazer Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Umm, have you read her previous posts on this subject? Yes. I've read all of her threads about this guy. The facts of his rejection and her actions thereafter are as presented in this thread: One conversation letting her down and telling her he doesn't see her "in that way," and no accosting on her or anyone else's part. She was looking for a mutual "using"/FWB/not-serious thing. That wasn't available as an option, and she wasn't willing to be unilaterally "used" as either an ego boost or to make another girl jealous. Can't say I blame her.
Star Gazer Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 I have no plans to continue interacting with him. She complains about the way he's behaving but she's still friends with the dude. Why should he be blamed for her masochism? Please, dudes... Actually read the thread. 1
snug.bunny Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 I decided to post here about what happened... I 'caught feelings'; we were hanging out more and more and I just started liking him, liking the way we connected. I decided I wanted to date him. I let him know on my blog that he follows (and I follow his) the same night I realized it. He read it (and really liked it; he thought it was very creative and endearing) and at work the next day let me down gently. I was fine with it. Saturday we hung out for 6 hours. He talked about his ex at least half the time (he and I are both 25, this girl is 19)--generally, how awful she is and how he is trying to get her to realize these things about herself and change. He showed me this text exchange they had the night I wrote 'the post'--she'd blown him off. There was this long rant from him to her. In it, he mentioned my post as a 'wake-up call' she now has. He showed me things he wrote in his little journal about his ex and some other girls, and about me. All about how awful his ex and these other girls turned out to be, etc--and the post about me was basically "She's really great". He also said his ex is really jealous of me; she knows we hang out all the time at work (Gee, I wonder who told her). His ex started following my blog; I told him I was going to block her (I have since blocked her) and he said, "No, don't, she should see what a real woman acts like." I should've kicked him out right then but the attractiveness fog was still obscuring my vision until he left. I'm hip to his game and I'm not interested in playing. He's using me as a stick to poke at his ex with. If he asks what's wrong, I'll tell him, but otherwise I have no plans to continue interacting with him. Don't know the entire back story, but it sounds like this was something just TOO much to start off on the right foot (dating while still living in the ex's apartment, fresh out of a break-up, working together, blogging about each other, ex girlfriends reading blogs of women their ex boyfriend is dating and/or flirting online with, new girl reading blogs of guy she likes talking about his ex). Iss too messy. I know people have the habit of writing about their lives on an online environment, but doing so, at times can invite unneeded drama into one's life. Best to keep things between two people, offline. If it gets too hot in the kitchen, just remove yourself from it and go MIA. 1
Oxy Moronovich Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Please, dudes... Actually read the thread. Yeah, here's what I read later on: Tomorrow he starts on my shift...which means we come in, take our breaks, and leave at the same times. It may be a little more difficult to avoid him. I decided I'll be immediately up-front and tell him how I feel about all this. I think I will ask him if he wants to talk after work. Telling him while at work seems to be in poor taste. Is it? So it looks like she is going to interact with him.
MrNate 2.0 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 The fact that this guy turned you down in the first place is nuts. He'll regret that one in a little while.
Shaun-Dro Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 I decided to post here about what happened... I 'caught feelings'; we were hanging out more and more and I just started liking him, liking the way we connected. I decided I wanted to date him. I let him know on my blog that he follows (and I follow his) the same night I realized it. He read it (and really liked it; he thought it was very creative and endearing) and at work the next day let me down gently. I was fine with it. Saturday we hung out for 6 hours. He talked about his ex at least half the time (he and I are both 25, this girl is 19)--generally, how awful she is and how he is trying to get her to realize these things about herself and change. He showed me this text exchange they had the night I wrote 'the post'--she'd blown him off. There was this long rant from him to her. In it, he mentioned my post as a 'wake-up call' she now has. He showed me things he wrote in his little journal about his ex and some other girls, and about me. All about how awful his ex and these other girls turned out to be, etc--and the post about me was basically "She's really great". He also said his ex is really jealous of me; she knows we hang out all the time at work (Gee, I wonder who told her). His ex started following my blog; I told him I was going to block her (I have since blocked her) and he said, "No, don't, she should see what a real woman acts like." I should've kicked him out right then but the attractiveness fog was still obscuring my vision until he left. I'm hip to his game and I'm not interested in playing. He's using me as a stick to poke at his ex with. If he asks what's wrong, I'll tell him, but otherwise I have no plans to continue interacting with him. Good. It looks like your mind is already made up about what to do. But, I wonder why you found the need to come on here and yap to us about it?
Author tigressA Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 The fact that this guy turned you down in the first place is nuts. He'll regret that one in a little while. Eh, I've been in situations where I didn't have a single bad thing to say about the guy but I just wasn't feeling him, and that seemed to be the case here. I thought I would say something to him about what I figured out yesterday, but after thinking on it some more it wouldn't be a good idea. So I'm just going to cut him off. 2
threebyfate Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Smart move! Not worth bringing drama into the workplace.
daphne Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 It's kinda the precursor to a GIGS thing. Once he realizes, "Oh, hey... TA liked me... she's hot... and cool... I wonder what OTHER hot and cool chicks will dig me too! I'm gonna go find out, and keep trading up!" This happened to me. I say let the idiot come back down to earth and see who he can really get after you. Not that I'm bitter.
Author tigressA Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 We talked Sunday night. I let him know how what took place Saturday made me feel--that I gathered he was using me to make his ex jealous. He of course said that wasn't the case, he's getting over her, he'd have no reason to do that. He said he understood how I could think that way, how his actions could be misconstrued, and he did apologize. But... I saw he creeped my OKC profile again that night. And when we were on the phone he said things like "I was thinking of texting you Saturday night when I was with my cousins to see what you were up to, I'd like them to meet you, I think they'd dig you" and "When I was alone in my apartment earlier this afternoon and I wasn't really doing anything I thought 'I wish TigressA was here'". He was telling me about some other girl he was really good friends with before she moved away, how close they were and how the bond we have reminds him so much of what he had with her, and how I'm one of his only friends here, and so on. A part of me feels bad for him because I know his situation and I know he gets lonely. This is what makes me want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I told my best friend about the conversation and she said, "He's a repeat offender. Even if you give him the benefit of the doubt and let his intentions be innocent, he still behaves this way to girls he says he isn't romantically interested in." In any case, I have my date Friday (rescheduled from Tuesday--that wasn't set in stone anyway). We talked on the phone for the first time earlier tonight and he has a sexy phone voice. I'm excited.
Author tigressA Posted May 16, 2012 Author Posted May 16, 2012 He finally got fired today. I was looking for that to happen for the last couple of weeks at least. He was there today for less than 3 hours before he was escorted out and I saw a couple of supervisors clearing his desk. So it's all over now.
eleanorhurting Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 He finally got fired today. I was looking for that to happen for the last couple of weeks at least. He was there today for less than 3 hours before he was escorted out and I saw a couple of supervisors clearing his desk. So it's all over now. oh my God i did not see this coming! what happened?
Author tigressA Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 oh my God i did not see this coming! what happened? I was looking for it to happen for at least the last couple of weeks. I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. He was doing everything except being late and mouthing off in order to get fired. He hated the job and he has other plans he told me about awhile back. He got a final warning a couple of weeks ago.
veggirl Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 You and papercut are like twins. You like him. You don't like him and never did. You like him again. It's over! You will never talk to him again. You have a date lined up with him. It's over again. :confused: Anyway, of course he wasn't going to admit to using you to make his ex jealous, but I think it's what he was doing all along, seems the writing was on the wall.
Author tigressA Posted May 17, 2012 Author Posted May 17, 2012 Uhhh...I don't have any date lined up with him. It's a totally different guy I'm going out with tomorrow. I haven't spoken with him since he called on Sunday (I do feel bad for him, but I don't really buy his apology), and I won't be seeing him at work anymore since he's been fired. So it is over now.
johan Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 I'm still having a hard time getting over that underwear comment. 2
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