JengleBells83 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Ok, so I was VERY good friends with this guy for 2 years, and after much persuasion from him (he chased me forever) ended up dating him last summer for 3 months...we had a fantastic relationship- talked marriage, were crazy about eachother, had EVERYTHING in common..but after a few weeks of me being a mess (my grandpa died, my job was rough, hormonal rollercoaster issues) and him getting lonely and depressed, he broke up with me. (After crying for 2 hours on the phone, and calling it a "break", and saying he'd call me in a few days. He never called. In fact, he started seeing this chick he was working with, who is 19 (He is 31!!). We had it out after he rubbed the whole thing in my face, and blocked me on facebook. We ran into eachother occasionally, and he had nothing to say to me. A few weeks ago, he unblocked me from facebook. I ran into him again, he was decent, we ended up being friends on facebook for a whole day, and he deleted me the next day. (mind you, I didn't say anything to him). I thought his girlfriend may have thrown a fit, and deleted me because of that?! whatever. So last night was his birthday, we started dating last year, on his birthday. I was out with friends, drinking and texted him happy birthday. The more I drank, I started texting him. (stupid, yes. i know, lets not rehash this.) And he responded. I basically poured my heart out to him- how I missed his friendship, how I missed who I thought he was, how important he was to me, etc. He responded with, " I have no need/ want to talk to you", "You never knew me", "You ****ed this up and and there not a hell of alot you can do about it now"..and you need to move on and delete my phone number". (duh). I was nothing but nice to him and poured out my soul...and have been nice to him for the last 5 months (when i've seen him, etc.) I get it. He doesn't give 2 ****s about me. Possibly he never did. How could a guy who was my VERY good friend and a great boyfriend, turn out to be so heartless and so cruel...and end up having ZERO feelings for me at all??? Its been almost 9 months, and he still talks to me the way he did back in September. Please don't be mean to me here guys...I'm just trying to get perspective. I never got any kind of nice closure from this guy, I know i'm probably never going to get any answers that I want....just trying to figure out how someone could be so nasty to me - not only were we lovers, but such good friends. I want to move on completely, and I have been having fun...going out, dating other people, but this guy just haunts me everyday. Insight?
TaraMaiden Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 There's nothing to be said. Move on, go no contact and let it go. You can't second guess the guy, and there's no point trying. He's probably messed up, not entirely over you, but doing his best to get past this. I suggest you do likewise.
flitzanu Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 he's being mean because he doesn't want to deal with you anymore. could simply be he was "close friends" with you for 2 years in an attempt to date/sleep with you. it happened (assumedly the sleeping with) and it didn't work out or wasn't what he expected it to be, so now he's moving on. entirely likely that you didn't do anything "wrong" he just doesn't want to be with you. by constantly pushing or pressuring him with your "feelings" it's just pushing him further away, and at this point he has no other alternative than to try and hurt you in effort to make you stop bothering him.
hinatticus Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 I like flitz's honesty. Wanna give me any advice? I posted not too long ago. It's on here somewhere. I agree with flitz tho. It's easy being an ass when you want someone to stop bothering you. People do change, for better or for worse. It's all relative tho, from your point he turned into an ass.
eles83 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 My guess, like others said I think, would be that for a while of those 2 years of being very good friends it was actually a case of you feeling like you guys were good friends and him feeling like he really, really wanted to be with you. So when you finally agreed, it wasn't just a few months of bliss, it was the culmination of a lot of waiting/effort/hype. Maybe he just wants to move on from the whole thing, now, like wash the hands of all the heartbreak and start fresh elsewhere. Maybe some of that meanness is actually him feeling like, I just need this done, this person I loved for so long out of the picture. I mean, I know that's a lot of maybes, and realistically you will never know. But if he was genuinely a good friend for those years, I'm sure he did have feelings for you and that's why he needs you out of the way, now.
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