Feelsgoodman Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 There are certain realities one must accept. One is that women generally don't approach men unless the man in question is a celebrity, model or known to be extremely wealthy. Even then, lots of women will not approach. Convincing men as a whole to not put up with this, and begin demanding women to approach is a nonstarter. Women will never approach you randomly on the street, that much is true. However, they will indicate their interest to men they already know through their social circles. If you know what you're doing, you will never have to pussy beg. Imagine you wanted to go into car sales business. What do you think would be more effective: a) opening a car dealership, where prospective customers (who you know are looking to buy a car) would have an opportunity to familiarize themselves with the merchandise before you make the sales pitch; or b) opening a call center and trying to convince totally random people (most of whom are not in the market for a new automobile to begin with) to buy a car without sitting in it and taking it for a test drive? "Sarging" is such a low probability game because nowadays are very scared and suspicious of men of random approaches. They walk around with their walls up.
Feelsgoodman Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Why wouldn't sarging be like selling lear jets? If you view what you are selling, yourself, as cheap telemarketing, so be it, but why not view yourself as a jet? Because Lear does not call random folks trying to sell them a jet If that's what they did, they wouldn't be in business very long. Can you name one high quality, high end product that is sold through telemarketing? There's no way to tell which leads are higher quality, the Glengarry leads Exactly. You don't even get the Glengary leads. When you're sarging, all you've got is the phonebook
dasein Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Agree with you 100% on the social network part, and it's always best to meet women through an established social network, no question. Sarging (I hate that word) is just another tool, not mutually exclusive with social networking. In other words, I'd much rather be at a party of friends where there will be new women, but sometimes it's time to get out there and have some fun with the total unknown. Sure it's low percentage, but makes for MUCH better stories when you are back with the social network than just going out and getting drunk. If you are saying that PUAs stick on the sarging aspect as opposed to training to social network, sure. It's really all they got when teaching a class of wallflower guys how to get out there. The types of men who need PUA help usually don't have social networks and what they really want for plunking the money down is to get more comfortable talking to women generally. I wouldn't pay for that, but then again I worked in sales for 10 years in the past. Most guys don't have that level of work experience that also applies in their social lives. 1
motive2002 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 They walk around with their walls up. Such a simple statement, and yet profound when you dig into it a little deeper. I've had cold approaches that were successful, but it's far from the norm. You had better be a master at whipping up rapport with complete strangers... and even if you are you have NO idea what their situation is, and odds are it probably isn't free and single looking to score.. unless you're at a total meat market place where the underlying intention is already assumed. Whatever the approach is make it interesting. I think a lot of women (and some men) like to have a good "well how did you guys meet?" story to tell later on.
joystickd Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Women will never approach you randomly on the street, that much is true. However, they will indicate their interest to men they already know through their social circles. If you know what you're doing, you will never have to pussy beg. Imagine you wanted to go into car sales business. What do you think would be more effective: a) opening a car dealership, where prospective customers (who you know are looking to buy a car) would have an opportunity to familiarize themselves with the merchandise before you make the sales pitch; or b) opening a call center and trying to convince totally random people (most of whom are not in the market for a new automobile to begin with) to buy a car without sitting in it and taking it for a test drive? "Sarging" is such a low probability game because nowadays are very scared and suspicious of men of random approaches. They walk around with their walls up. Seems you are an expert of finding excuses about not stepping out of your comfort zone and interacting with new people. 2
motive2002 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Also I want to add that the Deangelo stuff is crap. I didn't order myself a copy.. let's just say I acquired a glance of it. Nothing you can't glean from a multitude of free articles already on the web. He just re-hashes most of what's already been said a thousand times over, albiet with some effort to put his own personal slant on it. The real trick is to set your fear completely aside and pull it all off naturally. Most of us guys know what to do, or how to attract people, it's a matter of simply getting out of your own way.
dasein Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Because Lear does not call random folks trying to sell them a jet If that's what they did, they wouldn't be in business very long. Can you name one high quality, high end product that is sold through telemarketing? Exactly. You don't even get the Glengary leads. When you're sarging, all you've got is the phonebook Ah, but the point is, every woman one finds attractive is a potential "Lear jet me" prospect because the wherewithal to "afford" our inestimably valuable company is not monetary. Every woman you see and think "I'd do that" who doesn't have a ring on her finger is a glengarry lead until we approach and find out for sure.
johan Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 It never hurts to just say hi to a girl. You don't have to wear your heart on your sleeve. Just say hi and smile and don't drape yourself on her. If something else occurs to you to say, then say it. Otherwise, you at least opened the door a little bit. Forget all the tactics, and just be a human being. 2
MaxNoob Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Exactly. You don't even get the Glengary leads. When you're sarging, all you've got is the phonebook I read that while men do almost all the approaching, 90% of the time it's because the woman gave out buying signals first (eye contact, smile, preening). So if you walk into a room, you get your leads by making observations first. Someone who's slowly scanning the room like you are is more likely to be available, and if they give you more eye contact than usual, that's who you should approach. 2
Feelsgoodman Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Seems you are an expert of finding excuses about not stepping out of your comfort zone and interacting with new people. Seems like you are an expert on making assumptions.
Feelsgoodman Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 I read that while men do almost all the approaching, 90% of the time it's because the woman gave out buying signals first (eye contact, smile, preening). So if you walk into a room, you get your leads by making observations first. Someone who's slowly scanning the room like you are is more likely to be available, and if they give you more eye contact than usual, that's who you should approach. That's different from what PUA's call sarging. Sarging literally envolves prowling the streets or places like book stores and coffee shops in search of women to approach. Then, when you see one you like, you approach her and try to get a phone number even if she's not sending buying signals. In my view, that's a terrible waste of time.
joystickd Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Seems like you are an expert on making assumptions. No assumption that is just what it looks like.
ThaWholigan Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Sarging is a waste of time, but that doesn't mean one should not talk to girls on the street when you feel like it. If she looks at me in my face for longer than 10 seconds, I have an urge to approach (and a counter urge to curl up ). Feelsgoodman makes a point that one shouldn't place so high a level of importance on just approaching girls outside, but it's still good to be able to do it if you really want to. I don't think it's necessarily supplicating. Social Circle stuff is MUCH better obviously, but consider that some of the guys who have the most difficulty have NO SOCIAL CIRCLE!!! 1
Emilia Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 I read that while men do almost all the approaching, 90% of the time it's because the woman gave out buying signals first (eye contact, smile, preening). So if you walk into a room, you get your leads by making observations first. Someone who's slowly scanning the room like you are is more likely to be available, and if they give you more eye contact than usual, that's who you should approach. ... and what many guys forget is that approach is also power. It means it's YOU who chooses
thatone Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 ... and what many guys forget is that approach is also power. It means it's YOU who chooses yeah but that doesn't line up with trying to sell gutless/spineless men books, dvds, and whatever else they sell. can't be telling them that they can do anything on their own. http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3ivlsbAmz1r0men0.jpg honestly i had no idea there were people making money off of telling men how to approach women until i heard about it on this forum
Emilia Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 I have heard of it from guys but only from those in their 20s. That age group is the only one that tried to pull some PUA stuff on me like neg hits, etc. I suppose they are more susceptible internet marketing than older ones.
Imajerk17 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 (edited) That's different from what PUA's call sarging. Sarging literally envolves prowling the streets or places like book stores and coffee shops in search of women to approach. Then, when you see one you like, you approach her and try to get a phone number even if she's not sending buying signals. In my view, that's a terrible waste of time. I have read your threads (and the reactions they get from people on here). You have a tendency to talk of things you don't really understand. Take this from someone who has successfully cold-approached. Women are rarely going to give you "buying signals" when they are out running errands. They aren't even thinking of you until YOU go up and talk to them. That is when the magic happens. Edited May 14, 2012 by Imajerk17
Reddice Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 David DeAngelo is by far the best. I've seen his first seminar on DVD, and only the last 4 hours (out of 12) is about the actual "pickup lines". The rest is inner game work, understanding what pickup actually is and learning what women are actually looking for in men. You see... the main part (I believe it was about 70%) of human communication is non-verbal. You need to have an actual understanding of what triggers attraction, before you can actually work on attracting somebody. There is more to attraction than meets the eye. By watching this seminar, I did learn though that there is not just one way of attracting a woman. There are thousands of ways of doing so. You just need to find a game plan that "fits" you. I found that combining parts from Mystery, Style and David DeAngelo works best. Mystery's way of storytelling and just being interesting is great. Style's transformation into a natural and just randomly coming up with stuff is awesome. And David's knowledge of the actual attraction triggers are simply the best. Don't use negs though, just try to be a combination of "cocky and funny". And overall, just be a fun and great guy to be with! 1
Imajerk17 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Sarging is a waste of time, but that doesn't mean one should not talk to girls on the street when you feel like it. If she looks at me in my face for longer than 10 seconds, I have an urge to approach (and a counter urge to curl up ). Feelsgoodman makes a point that one shouldn't place so high a level of importance on just approaching girls outside, but it's still good to be able to do it if you really want to. I don't think it's necessarily supplicating. Social Circle stuff is MUCH better obviously, but consider that some of the guys who have the most difficulty have NO SOCIAL CIRCLE!!! Furthermore, what if you aren't into anyone in your social circle? What if you've already been friendzoned or the one you want is taken? See where I'm going at? 1
thatone Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 I have heard of it from guys but only from those in their 20s. That age group is the only one that tried to pull some PUA stuff on me like neg hits, etc. I suppose they are more susceptible internet marketing than older ones. i think that goes for everyone. i've heard of no less than half a dozen pyramid marketing schemes from my gf in the past 5-6 months. everything from body oils to sex toys to the latest fad diet. and all of her friends buy into every one hook line and sinker apparently. i thought that stuff died with tupperware parties in the 80s. guess i was wrong.
Emilia Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 i think that goes for everyone. i've heard of no less than half a dozen pyramid marketing schemes from my gf in the past 5-6 months. everything from body oils to sex toys to the latest fad diet. and all of her friends buy into every one hook line and sinker apparently. I suppose so. I'd like to think many of us wise up in our 30s but perhaps it's not so
Imported Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 I like reading the stuff over at Girls Chase | Get girls chasing YOU! How to meet women, get dates, have relationships# (Best of....set of links on the right side of site). I haven't paid anything, but may just donate some money for the stuff I already read for free. Many things I agree'd with, some stuff I didn't. My own approach is just damage control.
Feelsgoodman Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Women are rarely going to give you "buying signals" when they are out running errands. They aren't even thinking of you until YOU go up and talk to them. That is when the magic happens. Exactly. That's why cold approaching is a waste of time. You may be successful with it every once in a while but it's still a low probability strategy. If you take the time you spend "cold approaching" random chicks and invest it in improving your social circle, you'd meet 10 times the amount of women. And in any event, who has time to roam the streets in search of random chicks to approach? I don't know about you, but when I'm out I'm also running errands, not strolling leisurely checking out chicks and trying to hit on them. Unless you are a teenager or unemployed, you should be able to find much better use for your time.
Feelsgoodman Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 Furthermore, what if you aren't into anyone in your social circle? What if you've already been friendzoned or the one you want is taken? Then you should expand you social circle and find new people to hang out with. No one says you have to be stuck with the same loser clique for the rest of your life. Building up a better social circles is 100 times more rewarding than prowling the streets in search of "prospects". For the advocates of the cold approach, consider this. Do you think that lawyers, doctors, successful businessmen or other high value males hang out at the mall and hit on random chicks? Of course they don't. Successful men don't need to do that sort of thing. And women know that. That's why "sarging" is so ineffective. When you beg random chicks for phone numbers, you are automatically positioning yourself as a low value/low class man. Even if she gives you her phone number, she probably won't go out with you.
joystickd Posted May 15, 2012 Posted May 15, 2012 I read PUA and came to the conclusion that essentially sarging is a way to just get out there and socialize. Meeting women is a motivation to do it but overall its to build a skillset to become social. Look at it like this if you are having a great time being social with a group of women other women will notice. Even if you get no interest from the women you were talking to previously you have attracted the interest of other women. I wouldn't advise trying to get after every woman but socialize. Women want what is in demand and sarging done properly creates the illusion of that. 1
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