dollface07 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Good morning LS members, 1) I had a huge argument with my bf Tues., May 1st 2) I shut my phone off for 2 days b/c I was so angry (i know extreme, hurtful and inconsiderate behavior...i've already recently apologized) 3) When I turned on my phone he had left a voice mail message 4) I returned his voice mail with an e-mail basically telling him that I didn't believe his claim that I am the best girl in the world for him because if that were true our relationship at this stage would be pretty much effortless...you wouldn't have these reservations about going public with me and we wouldn't have so many quarrels so early on. ***5) By Friday evening, he called to see me but I was still upset and was at another party trying to get my mind off of things...we had THE biggest fight ever when he stopped being patient and finally reacted which made me react even more losing a lot of respect followed by my hanging up (AGAIN i've apologized for this behavior) 6) nothing has been the same he doesnt dote on me, call me just to talk and update about each other's lives nothing he'll call me like to talk for 5 mins ONCE a week 7) he finally came by to see my friday night after he went to a party we sat in his car for about 30 min and he told me he was so sorry for neglecting me and hugged me for a very long time...but he did say "his life is a mess/he doesn't have any time for me" but made no indication about breaking up and agreed that we should spend his birthday together ***8) I apologized for my hurtful actions via text (after verbally apologizing earlier) and emailed him about seeing a movie together (i never initiate ever so this was a big step for me) and let him know i was going to see a movie last night w/my roomie and his responses were: 8a: Thank you honey. I know that you trust me. 8b: U got your email sure we can go and watch the move. 8c: There is no need to apologize honey. Have a good time. I don't feel that I am equipped with the skills to navigate this interpersonal situation effectively. I don't know why our relationship isn't stronger after the quarrel it's been like 2 weeks...I would like some help for you all to know what to do/anticipate/how to act when we do go on a movie date in the next couple of days...I am the one that kept breaking it (it was justified) but now based on is behavior, I believe this man has/had authentic feelings for me...from you all's 3rd party objective assessments, is all ruined? Thank you, Df
Author dollface07 Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 Yes, on Saturday remember? But then I felt a lot of pain (separation anxiety?) i wasnt prepared for and didn't realize was gonna happen to me so I decided to wait patiently until June and be more respectful that way if we separate in June I wont have any feelings like it was all b/c of me...last saturday i kept feeling miserable b/c i felt im not being patient enough so when he asked me if i had a better idea instead of breaking up i offered to be more patient/respectful (which he acknowledged in the car that he completely noticed i've really changed for the better--but he didnt use the word change but that's what i did essentially) ProfX how are you always online to save the day do you have a LS app on your mobile or something?
Professor X Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Yes, on Saturday remember? But then I felt a lot of pain (separation anxiety?) i wasnt prepared for and didn't realize was gonna happen to me so I decided to wait patiently until June and be more respectful that way if we separate in June I wont have any feelings like it was all b/c of me...last saturday i kept feeling miserable b/c i felt im not being patient enough so when he asked me if i had a better idea instead of breaking up i offered to be more patient/respectful (which he acknowledged in the car that he completely noticed i've really changed for the better--but he didnt use the word change but that's what i did essentially) ProfX how are you always online to save the day do you have a LS app on your mobile or something? I'm at work, doing some SEO work. So I got internet all the time. This: "that way if we separate in June I wont have any feelings like it was all b/c of me" - makes me think you're already to deeply invested in him. I haven't got more to offer to you I'm afraid. He wrote down the conditions to the RS (i.e. - keep it a secret) and by following him through you agreed to it. I am sorry, but the only thing left for me to say is take responsibility for your own actions. You accepted his terms? Now keep quiet and deal with it. And as for: "I don't know why our relationship isn't stronger after the quarrel" - not sure I get you. It's all about how you deal with it, not if you pass it. And also, you never liked his conditions for the RS from the get go, and this is something you can't compromise about, so there's no way for you to actually "deal" with it properly other than accepting it and wait for June.
Author dollface07 Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 that's fine thank you for your response I have accepted the relationship tems and conditions quietly until June...that's not an issue anymore I guess my issues is like you said taking responsibility for my actions just b/c i accepted his terms doesnt mean he's forgotten (even if he's forgiven) my inconsiderate behavior...thanks profx :bunny:
Author dollface07 Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 specifically about this part of my initial post: I would like some help for you all to know what to do/anticipate/how to act when we do go on a movie date in the next couple of days...I am the one that kept breaking it (it was justified) but now based on is behavior, I believe this man has/had authentic feelings for me...from you all's 3rd party objective assessments, is all ruined? the reason is that i don't have any girlfriends to discuss this matter with we're all spread out over the world and the ones in my country are either asleep right now or on holiday. I also value LS members insightful/honest responses and I dont want to discuss this with my roomate b/c she'll take that as a carte blanche to tell me all about her relationship issues and i've already acted as her relationship counselor from Jan-April! I would like some help too sometimes...
Author dollface07 Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 It's not all ruined. Just act normally. :x Mouaah! :x
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