Danila Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 I have been dating a someone I really like for 5months. I really feel something strong for him but we have had our share of issues. Trust issues were my biggest concern. He 's putting school, work, and his family on a priority list which I ve totally respected. but everyone kept telling me that he has someone else. I was trying to be understanding because he's going through a lot right now. we talked about our relationship last week . we agreed to work on things and everything was great. then the rumors again after just three days. I confronted him on the phone.he was upset.we had a fiht.we didt talk for a couple of days. we finally spoke last night.he wants to take a break for a couple of weeks. that i need to figure out what I want.that he wants to look at the relationship from a different perspective. I dont want to lose him.he has really been a positive influence in my life.I have really strong feelings for him.my biggest fear is that I ll lose him.I want to try to work things out together but he insist that its better if we each work them apart.what can I do to try to change his mind or to deal with this relationship????please help
honey2005 Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 I went through kind of the same thing with my ex. He was being really distant and I felt he might have someone else. I confronted him, and he told me he wanted to take a break (well really he told me to never talk to him again, then he told me we needed a break). It hurts SOO bad, I didn't want to take a break, I wanted it to be like it always had been. He said he wanted to stay friends, so I kept talking to him, online and on the phone, then after a couple weeks of waiting on him, only to have him have to go to call his new gf (which he got WHILE he was dating me) and my nights ending in tears, I decided I was finished being there. If he needs me, he can call me, not the other way around. It was his choice to end it, so it will be his choice if he wants it to go like it was. So maybe you need to give your boyfriend time to think about things. With my bf there was someone else, but with yours there might not be. If you love someone, you should give them the benefit of the doubt, until proven otherwise. Don't call him all the time, or try to be around him. If he wants space, you being there will just make him want it more, and drive him farther away from you. Give him a chance to see what life is like without you, and how much he misses you being around. If its meant to be, he will feel it and call you back. Then you have to decide if you really trust him, and really love him.
beautiful Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 I totally agree with Honey on the part of giving him space! The more you go bothering him the more he runs! Now you been with this guy 5 month and already you so desperate to be with him? 5 month is not a relationship! 5 month is lust! That may sound cold to you however it is true. A real relationship takes a lot of quality time to develop. Take this time to work on your own issues and respect him to give him space. The only person you can change is you. I understand that you must feel rejected and hurt however, you control your emotions. Life your life happily and be sincerely busy. There is much to do in your life and with you. If this guy is sincere he will find his own way back to you and if he doesen't come back that is ok , life is not going to end and you will get over this.
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