hurting1982 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Nearly 3 weeks has passed since my boyfriend of 6 months finished with me. We started out amazing together but then about a month before the break up things had started to go stale which in my mind was due to boredom, doing the same old things and generally just sitting around watching tv. The passion we had was none existent. He said we needed to talk! I'd heard this all before about a year and a half ago from which I went into deep depression and really struggled to get myself out of it. He said we'd become more of just friends, the spark had gone, and couldn't see us getting back to the way things were. I'd read numerous articles about this kind of thing after my last break up, so instead of begging and pleasing or even putting up any kind of fight I just let him go! Did I really do the right thing? I'm in so much physical and emotional pain at the moment it's unreal, and I'm scared of going back to the way I was before. I really can't cope with it all again. Should I of put up a fight and tried to work things out? I'm so confused. It doesn't help matters that he's still texting me asking if I'm ok? I know he's only worried about me and checking on me, but is this really the case or is he actually missing me.I just don't know how to take it. Please can someone offer me advice? We loved each other and this just seems so surreal.
Pod81 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 The fact that you are in emotional and physical pain tells me that you still love and care for this guy. I feel this may just be a natural transition out of that honeymoon phase of the relationship. For many, people can't handle this change and thus, are never able to successfully keep serious relationships. Boredom is one of those things that I feel can be changed if both parties are willing to work at it. You guys seemed to take each other for granted and it's difficult to compare your significant other during the honeymoon phase with the same person at later stages in the relationship. Sometimes, it's best not to even compare at all because you'll just end up being disappointed. In your case, it seems like both parties had too much pride to admit wanting to work at the relationship. If you guys do work things out, share some activities that you both enjoy, go on vacation, anything that may keep the interest level high. Good luck!
hinatticus Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 How do you get bored in a relationship after only 6 months. You guys definitely took each other for granted. If you're both willing to spice it up then it might work.
Author hurting1982 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 It really was the fact we took each other for granted. I know this but he said that he wasn't sure as to where it went wrong. With the situation of us getting bored it's no wonder the spark went. Now we've also agreed to stay in touch and try be friends. I guess in a way I'm hoping to try reignite the way we felt and show him that it "was" purely out of boredom why things changed. Not sure this is the beat way to go but think it's worth a shot
Svet74 Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 I went through a similar thing but I ended up putting up a fight because I didn't wanna feel like I did nothing. So we ended up being on and off for another ten months after the relationship ended. And he didn't commit to me. So I let him go. Going into 10 weeks on nc now. And herd that my ex misses me but it's not my job to try to fix it now. I think you should do what your heart desires
Rorschach64 Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Forgive me if I am wrong but did I reply to another thread you created hurting? Anyways, you only wanted a relationship with the guy right? You don't want to settle for less right? If you answered yes then don't be friends with him. God knows you'll end up torturing yourself with the notion you can convience him to come back if you show him how great you are through a friendship. Worse part of it, I am sure he will eventually move on and tell you about it, do you really want to be there for that? Or be his security blanket? Hurting1982, tell him what you want (if you haven't already), talk about the issues, and if he still says no still then be like okay I respect your choice to not continue this relationship as bf and gf but I cannot be your friend. Then go NC.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 if he's feeling guilty about hurting you, let him continue to do so but you do not under ang circumstances reply or initiate contact with him. you move one, socialize find new hobbies and do the best u can to let him go. eventually the pain will lessen. in the meantime go strict nc.
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