PainsChains Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 I was dating my dream girl. She was a 10. And not just in looks but in every category. I was a very lucky man. But after 1.5 years she met someone else. And a week later she broke up with me. I came on these forums and educated myself. I immediately went NC. But then a week and a half later I randomly ran into her and foolishly told her I'd fight for her. She came over and we had sex. Then she went back and forth between me and the other guy for 2 weeks. I genuinely thought I had a chance of keeping her... but she was just easing her withdrawl while building a new relationship with him. In the end she said, "I've finally found what I've been looking for for a really, really long time." I was CRUSHED. But I tried to keep my integrity. I told her I just wanted her to be happy. Then she said, "I will be happy... I AM happy." I felt my heart stop beating altogether. I'd already endured about a month of no eating and no sleeping just trying to hang onto her. Now I knew I had another several months of pain coming that would probably be even worse. But I had one consolation: I would meet someone else. I knew I probably wouldn't do as good as her again, but if I tried hard maybe I could get someone close. I know how to meet girls. I have a lot going for myself and the dating world is wide open to me. At least, that's what I thought. Two days after she broke up with me I found out some news that's changed my entire life: in those last two weeks... she gave me herpes. Now I feel absolutely destroyed. I lost my dream girl AND suddenly I have an incurable STI too? How can I hope to date again now??? I'm so depressed. Getting over her was going to be impossible enough. But now I just feel hopeless.
TaraMaiden Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 First of all, she may not know she gave you herpes, which may mean she has no idea her new partner has it too. where else would she have got it. You need to tell her, and leave aside any feelings or revenge or come-uppance. this is not time to permit your emotions to cloud your judgement. She needs to know that she gave it to you. Herpes is not the end of the world. My cousin has herpes. She also has a loving husband and 3 kids. She had herpes when she met him, so to say that you have 'no hope of finding love again' is both defeatist and unrealsitic. Read this, and educate yourself.
Author PainsChains Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 Actually, I told her the day I found out - I should've mentioned that. I went from the doctor directly to her house. Held her hand and told her calmly. She cried. Said she was sorry and that she never knew she had it. I comforted her. I didn't say anything unkind. And I did okay for a while. But it was just two days after she told me her decision to be with the other guy so I ended up getting extremely emotional. I told her that I wanted to take care of her. That she was more important to me than any sickness. And that we could learn to live with it together. She still denied me. Said, "I don't want that from YOU". Which hurt me even worse. I ended up crying. It was pathetic. Tried to convince her and we went back over the breakup all over again. Talked for three and a half hours. I asked if I could take her to the doctor the next day and she said no because she was going to the beach for the weekend with her new boyfriend. CRUEL. She said she would call me when she got back. But I've never heard from her again. That was over a month ago. Now I'm left with a very brutal reality. My once best friend and moral support is gone. She's happy to be away from me and is having the time of her life with someone else. My future will not be with her. It will be with this incurable infection and the stigma that accompanies it. And that's put me in a pretty dark place. It does help hearing that about your cousin though. Thanks for the encouragement.
Steelrain322 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Wow... **** that bitch is what I say. Never talk to her again.
Mr Scorpio Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 But I had one consolation: I would meet someone else. I knew I probably wouldn't do as good as her again, but if I tried hard maybe I could get someone close. I know how to meet girls. I have a lot going for myself and the dating world is wide open to me. Now I feel absolutely destroyed. I lost my dream girl AND suddenly I have an incurable STI too? How can I hope to date again now??? I'm so depressed. Getting over her was going to be impossible enough. But now I just feel hopeless. Do you have a career? Your own place? Siblings? A healthy and supportive family? A history of relationships with other women? If you have two of the above, you are light-years ahead of several people I know, myself included.
esteem-jam Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 She was a 10. She came over and we had sex. Then she went back and forth between me and the other guy for 2 weeks. Here is where you are wrong. She is not a 10. Or, to be precise, was a 10, maybe. Since she cheated on her new-bf that shows lot about her character. I would substract -4 points from that 10, she is 6.
rAFC Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 (edited) FYI: According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), one out of every five American women between the ages of 14 and 49 has genital herpes. So, there is plenty of hope for finding love again. STD Facts - Genital Herpes Edited May 13, 2012 by rAFC
lovinglife21 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 My heart broke for you when I heard this story. But herpes is not the end of the world, and when you meet someone, and tell them, they will be mature enough to deal with it. People in wheelchairs, people who are blind, people who have AIDS all find a SO, and are in a much worse situation than you. The only people that will have an issue with this are people who are immature and frankly not worth your time. Please put this in perspective, the herpes isn't curable, but your attitude towards it is. And about the girl she may have been a 10, but they way she has treated you is less then a '1' and no one deserves that. Breakup's are difficult by nature, but sometimes you really see someone's true colours. Don't feel hopeless. Feel angry, feel sad, but always have hope. Remember that what you are feeling is normal, and take solace that everyday people get through this, and if they can, so can you. It will take time, but that's healthy. Remember right now that all you can do is take steps to make your life better, you're only hope isn't to meet someone new, it is to be truly happy in yourself, by yourself. So when eventually you do meet someone new, you can fully embrace a healthy relationship, and give it the best shot at success. Stop asking yourself why/how? because at the end of the day you will never really know, and it doesn't change anything. Write a list of all the reasons you don't want to be with her, of all the things you can achieve without her, and of all the reasons you are angry with her. Use these to motivate you and every time you feel hopeless look at them. Let her go- chances are that she has some major things to work on, and later in life will feel guilt ridden about how she has treated you. sending lots of positive energy your way! xx
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