Is it normal for people to think a lot about what other people are doing?

[SpiralOut]

Just want some opinions on this since I am introverted and spend little time thinking about other people in terms of, I wonder where they are, what are they doing right now, how many friends do they have, how often do they go out, etc etc. It's my way of showing my respect to people, by not shoving my brain into their personal lives.

 

I always thought my way of thinking was normal. Well it IS normal for me. But I know someone who puts her thoughts towards other people. If she doesn't know what they are doing in the evenings or weekend she will try and figure it out, sometimes by asking questions of other people and sometimes by just making assumptions. She has made comments to me that has made it clear that she put thought towards where I went and what did I do. Rather than asking me what did I do, she will just make a statement about it. Out loud. It's unnerving.

 

I find this to be very intrusive. Is this as unusual as I think it is? Or do other people think that way too but just do a better job of keeping it to themselves?

[january2011]

I've only ever had similar thoughts about exes during the early days of the breakups or my SO when I'm not with him. Never had these thoughts about anyone else, not even family.

 

However, I'd say that a pre-occupation with other people's lives suggests that you're not doing enough to live your own.

[exoduse22]

My friend is sometimes like that, and I think I understand exactly how you feel. There are times I prefer to keep things to myself, he will be like an interrogator who won't stop asking me things, branching down from the 1st question to the specifics and sometimes it is just really annoying. So basically, it is just like he needs to know the specifics of what is happening in my life, or in short, no privacy.

Edited May 13, 2012 by exoduse22

[CC12]

It's my way of showing my respect to people, by not shoving my brain into their personal lives.

 

Ha. I like the way you phrased that. I'm with you there.

 

 

 

I've only ever had similar thoughts about exes during the early days of the breakups or my SO when I'm not with him. Never had these thoughts about anyone else, not even family.

 

Same.

 

And if I did have those thoughts about someone, I don't think I'd ever just make a statement about it. That sounds weird. Maybe her comments make more sense in the context of the rest of the conversation? How about an example of what she says exactly?

[SpiralOut]

Thanks guys, glad to know I am not the only one.

 

As for a specific examle, we were discussing whether to get something to eat. This person blurted out "SpiralOut has already eaten." Everyone went quiet with surprise and looked at me to see what I would say.

 

It is something that someone COULD make a logical assumption about, based on common knowledge about me anyone at all could have guessed it. But nobody else thought to think of it. And I had not spoken to her or anyone about it. She didn't ask me if I had eaten. Nobody asked her for her opinion. Nobody asked me if I had eaten. She just wanted to share with everyone that she thinks she knows what I do. Everyone looked surprised.

 

There was another time when she did it to someone else. She said "oh he is probably at home, got tired and fell asleep." Well how do you know that? And what are you doing thinking of that anyway?

 

Next time that happens I'll say something like "I can tell that you spent some time thinking about that."