Pod81 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 I broke up with my girlfriend because I sensed that she was unappreciative, ungrateful, and has taken me for granted. She forgot about one of our plans to meet up (which has never happened) and overall, our communication has been lacking (which may have been attributable to her final exams week). A couple days later, she admitted to me via email that she isn't sure if I'm "the one" (which is I feel is naive and immature since we've only been dating for 14 months), that the distance has prevented her from keeping constant communication (we are about 50 miles away and see each other on the weekends) and that there is "something missing." So I call her back and she ultimately decided on taking a break to "think things through." There were no ground rules to this break, however. After a couple days of anxiety, I decided to confront her face-to-face by driving down to her place on a random weekday. She said that 1) we don't have that "dynamic", 2) that the passion that was once there isn't there anymore, 3) that "she loves me, but doesn't love me enough as she should" and 4) she "emotionally checked out." However, she still wanted to continue this break which I found really confusing. Why wouldn't she just break up completely? Anyway, I found this break to be totally pointless and decided to break up with her completely. As I left, she asked for a hug which I said no to because I honestly felt any physical contact would make me too emotional. As I was driving back and felt some closure, she calls back and says she wanted to work things out. She was crying the entire time, and when I told her that I couldn't take her back after she said all those things just an hour ago, she cried even harder. When I finally proposed a 2 month break with NC, she was so grateful and thankful for that. I left her with a good impression of me by saying that since I wouldn't contact her for a while, I wanted to wish her mother a happy birthday (it's the following week and there's no way she would have expected me to remember something like that since she mentioned it in conversation close to a year ago). She responded by saying that I'm such an amazing guy. My question is why is she SO fickle despite what she said?? Everytime I wanted to break up, she either wanted just a break or work things out. This past week, we've gone from break up to break without rules to break up and now, to break with ground rules. Keep in mind that I'm her first real boyfriend, so she has a naive, immature perspective on love. Personally, I think she confused the dying fire and passion from the "honeymoon phase" as a loss of love as we got into the "comfortable phase". Is this a reasonable thought? Secondly, is 2 months of NC enough time for her to romantically mature or is that too harsh of a proposition? If I took her back right away and tried to work out our issues, I feel there would be no way she'd have a chance of maturing.
g450 Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 Ill answer your question with another question: If you broke up with her then why should you care what she thinks? Does it really matter? Suggestion: Move on and go NC. Im sure similar answers will follow.
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