nofool4u Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 As for calling me a slime ball, I thought the point of this board was for help and guidance, not name-calling. Bryan didn't call you a slime ball, he called his so-called friend that.
nofool4u Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Careful you can also get infractions for calling people who don't post here or are members here names. Which shouldn't be. I think everyone has the right to call someone who isn't even identified a slime ball:cool:
2sunny Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 You have your answer. Recognize it. When you prefer to be alone rather than "with him" - it shows you should be on your own. Let him go.
Author GreyhoundtoNowhere Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 nofool4u..... he knows about everything. when i confessed, i was honest. My H called me this morning just in a bad place and wanted to talk. just wanted to know where I stood because he was tired of doing this. So, i told him. I said it wasn't fair to him and I had to be honest and that it wasn't going to work. He yelled at me for making no progress over the last 4 mos, but i said I had... just not in regards to us. But, I told him no amount of therapy can make me feel differently. More importantly, I didn't feel I loved him the way a wife should love a husband. Or with a love that will sustain a healthy marriage. That he deserved better. That ending it was hard and hurt him, but being with him and unsure and unhappy will only continue to hurt him as well. He got mad the first time, then called back and said he couldnt end it like that, and maybe id still change my mind. I told him I didnt want him to think that way. I wanted him to get to a place where he could move on. And that he would be okay. I wanted him to be happy. He sent me a text saying he was just supposed to forget about me and move on. I just responded with I was sorry but that he needed to be happy and I can't do that for him. He was upset. but hasn't said anything since. I was going to go over and talk to him, but i'm afraid if he cries and gets upset then ill just get sad and scared and take it back and say 'ok we'll keep trying.' and i dont want to keep doing this over and over again. part of me is still a tiny bit unsure, but i think that may be the fear. its just hard. thank you for your advice.
2sunny Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Don't respond. A person who has suffered through abuse shouldn't stay with ANY man that doesn't help her feel safe! You telling him how you feel is good progress - him yelling at you for how you feel is completely unacceptable - and would only cement that the right decision was made in ending it. Stay strong.
2sunny Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 When you stop making decisions based on fear - that's freedom! Staying with an angry yeller will not help you find peace.
Author GreyhoundtoNowhere Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 Dont get me wrong-- i didnt mean to make him out as someone who is violent. He would never hurt me or anything. So its not so much fear of him, but fear of going from being married and having a best friend to do things with-- to being alone and having to start over. I'm afraid if I go talk to him he will talk me back into "trying" more. I just don't think there is anything left to try.
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