Vintage79 Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 I'll be honest, I've just started online dating, and consequently, I have been able to see plenty of new people. As of now, there are 3 girls I've gone out with on either second or third dates [and another 2-3 first dates...this has occured over the past 3-4 weeks]. That said, given that I don't really know any of them well, and that I'm seeing several people, I'm taking it intentionally slow with all of them so that I don't get too involved with too many people. [i realize that the slow approach may ultimately compromise these relationships - but let's not get into that in this thread] Regardless, I went on a second date with one of these individuals roughly a week ago. A few days later I sent her an e-mail that mentioned going out again, but I haven't heard back. I'm not really distraught - as there are the other people. My question pertains more to the general situation of if you contact a person, propose a some genre of a date, and you don't hear back from them, do you contact them again, or do you simply forget about them and move on? In all honesty, the message I sent to this girl, was very ambiguous, and likely not a good follow-up letter. It said something like, "it would be great to get together again - but I'm really busy - let me know if you're interested and I'm sure we can figure something out". That's a paraphrase, and yes, I probably wrote it when I had a bit too much to drink. Regardless, that message was rather vague, non-committal, and put a lot of the needed effort on her (a very poor combination). Moreover, pair that with the, "moving slow" scenario and it may have been a recipe for disaster/never see each other again. Do I contact this girl again and propose something very specific (i.e. day, time, place), or forget about her? If I contact her again - is it best to do it via e-mail, text, or phone? Or would contacting her again come across creepy? I would like to see her again - as the two times I met her, she came across as two different people - so I'm not sure who she really is. At the same time, there are other options...hence the more general parts of this letter - as it wouldn't surprise me if something similar happens again in the near future. Thanks for your thoughts
EricaH329 Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Personally, if it were me, because you've only seen eachother twice, I would leave it alone. I know that if I am excited to see someone again, I don't allow their e-mails or texts to go unnoticed. I'd respond with my schedule to figure out when we could meet up again. That's just my two cents. Everyone is different, though.
Author Vintage79 Posted May 12, 2012 Author Posted May 12, 2012 I'm kinda of thinking the same thing...let it be...but others' thoughts are great. The vagueness of my letter (not vague in the let's see each other again sense), without any suggestions and a blatant..."my schedule's busy", makes me wonder if something more concrete would be appreciated. Thoughts from other ladies would be great...if you ignore a guys date request once - does that mean it's done - or would you wait for a more sincere date proposal? I'm guessing most will vibe with Erica...
mortensorchid Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 That message you sent while a bit tipsy is not a good one to have sent. That would come off to me as "I'll see you when I have the time" rather than "I really want to see you again soon, when are you available?" If you like that girl in particular, if you want to see her again, I would send another email saying "I'd like to see you again, what's a good time for you?". If she never responds, move on.
sid3 Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 I'd call her rather than send an email, that removes any ambiguity. So seeing as you werent clear in your email, give it another try. It'll only be a yes or no. 1
Author Vintage79 Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 So far it's 2 for try again (1 call and 1 e-mail) and one for move on...any other thoughts?
dasein Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Call her, leave a VM. Don't mention asking her out on the date on the VM, just leave your name and number "Hi, it's XYZ, 555-555-5555." If she doesn't return your call move on. If she answers the call, ask out for a specific date and time, not to "hang out" sometime or again. If she declines, and doesn't offer a definite alternative, move on. Good luck.
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