The Blue Knight Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 My friends set me up with a guy I don't have any chemistry at all: they're always doing this even when I've trying telling them not to. In addition, he does seems to lack some sense of humor and most of his conversations are about science, research, politics and other serious stuff (I also know those topics but too much talking about that is boring) . One time he brought a science fiction novel during the whole date. Talk about the worst date possible. Is there a way I can say no without sounding mean (I suck at it)?. It's been 3 weeks since we're hanging out and all mainly because of my friends telling him the times I'm available. Or should I keep dating him hoping I'll eventually click with him. I wish I could say no but at the same time don't want to hurt him. He seems excited to see me. Tell your friends "thank you" but that you will no longer accept their attempts to set you up. First off, they aren't very good at it, evidenced by this lame attempt to set you up. Secondly, you're not obligated to accept anyway. Tell this guy you're no longer interested in the relationship. It's better to be honest than to lead him on further thinking he's special. Frankly, any guy who brings a science fiction novel on a date needs a little pep-talk about dating etiquette.
RedRobin Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Anyone can be nice but if you're not attracted to then you're not. Actually no. Not anyone can be nice. You'll figure this out eventually.. After most of the nice, smart ones are taken. Carry on...
dollface07 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Tell this guy you're no longer interested in the relationship. It's better to be honest than to lead him on further thinking he's special. Frankly, any guy who brings a science fiction novel on a date needs a little pep-talk about dating etiquette. i totally agree with you but who would you suggest should give him that pep-talk? i would imagine it's the woman he's interested in dating that can helpfully point him in the right direction. And perhaps she can tell him for future reference so that he doesnt repeat the same behavior with the next girl isnt that a good idea? 1
Pierre Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Actually it's cool when a man has brains but anything in excess isn't too good either. I would get bored too if a man was into partying every single day. I don't like players either but neither do I want the extreme. Plus I wasn't even physically attracted to him from the start. If you want intelligent children you must have kids with an intelligent man. In the end looks fade away quickly, but intelligence grows with time until he gets Alzheimer's disease.
maybealone Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 If you want intelligent children you must have kids with an intelligent man. In the end looks fade away quickly, but intelligence grows with time until he gets Alzheimer's disease. Having kids requires having sex. Having sex requires at least some level of physical attraction. Or alcohol, but that can get expensive over a long-term marriage. 2
The Blue Knight Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 i totally agree with you but who would you suggest should give him that pep-talk? i would imagine it's the woman he's interested in dating that can helpfully point him in the right direction. And perhaps she can tell him for future reference so that he doesnt repeat the same behavior with the next girl isnt that a good idea? I think it has to be the OP. I don't believe in third party, email, or hi-tech communication break-ups. I'm a little older and married and being a bit old fashioned, I believe it has to come from the OP and she needs to convey this to the guy she's dating. I seldom post on these threads. For some reason this one caught my eye.
The Blue Knight Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Having kids requires having sex. Having sex requires at least some level of physical attraction. Or alcohol, but that can get expensive over a long-term marriage. Good humor!
spiderowl Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Just tell him you don't think you are right for each other. He's a nice guy but maybe he'd be better off with a girl who was into sci-fi, politics, whatever. You need to make it clear that you are not asking him though, but that you both need to date other people. He's going to be hurt, if he likes you, but there is no point stringing him along. I don't think you mean to string him along anyway; you sound like a caring person.
EricaH329 Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 I find it humorous that some people are taking such offense to this thread. Just because the OP doesn't find certain things about this guy attractive, doesn't mean they are universally unattractive. They just aren't right for her. So if you are into all that sci-fi stuff, don't get so offended You'll find your nerd one day Kidding, kidding. Anyway, OP, have you spoken to him yet? What are you planning on saying?
Recommended Posts