Medeau Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 I made a post a couple months back talking about issues with living with my boyfriend who has OCD and controlling tendancies. Now I'm sort of at a crossroads. We talked the other night about our relationship and the problems we've been having. He used to be warm and close, happy and not so stressed about everything. Now he's cold, distant, wants to be alone, and continuously states how happier he was when he was single. I asked, are you happy in this relationship? and his answer was 50/50. When we had time together, watch movies, ect. he was happy. He said I stress him out because I don't do everything he does in terms of living together (this is where the OCD comes into play). All my other questions: do you think we need space? Are you committed to this relationship, or working on it? What do you think we should do? He answered "I don't know". I asked what he thought about us splitting up, but he said he hadn't thought of it because it made him sad and didn't want to dwell on it. All in all, he said work, stress, and daily life cause him to not focus on the relationship at all. He said he can only focus on work, or relationship, but not both. I'm confused because while everything seems to point to us needing a break or splitting up, he gets sad and not very communicative when I mention it. I'm beginning to feel that this will go nowhere (and he himself has said he won't change). I would just like to hear from anyone if my thoughts seem to be in the right order.
favoritepills Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Your instincts are probably right on this one. He wants to break up with you but doesn't have the balls to actually do it. I mean, he actually told you to your face that he was happier before he met you. Woman up, dump him and let him know you deserve better than that.
TaraMaiden Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 He's manipulative and controlling, because he knows you love him,and he's confident that if he plays the little boy lost, with the odd, confusing mini tantrum and vague comment you would rather try to figure something our rather than give up on him. you can't fix him, and he's patently happy with the way he is, because he has you exactly where he wants you - you're bending over backwards to find reason, logic and rationale in it, rather than throw in the towel. My opinion? Throw in the towel.
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