Author DuchessKaye Posted May 12, 2012 Author Posted May 12, 2012 I've already posted about this guy on my teens on my previous posts...
NeverDated Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Anyways, I'm smelling troll too. Or a serious case of daddy issues. Someone call Dr Phil. 1
kaylan Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 This gets worse So this neighbour basically acted like a pseudo-uncle to you whilst you were a child, started dating you whilst you were still a child and then had sex with you as soon as it was legal. Thats creepy as hell. Im sorry, but any girls I was some sort of older brother figure to when growing up, would NEVER seem sexy to me once they were women. Id see them as family....yuck to the attraction part. smh @ this thread.
Author DuchessKaye Posted May 12, 2012 Author Posted May 12, 2012 Isn't that a fate that awaits anyone who enters a long term relationship? You know, growing old together and all that jazz? DK, like others, I do find the 14-36 relationship disturbing. I take it, though, that you didn't find it as disruptive as we imagine it to be. As for the question: is there such a thing as an older men magnet... Probably. It could be in part due to your social network. Do you have few friends? Are they mostly women? Or do you hang out with a large group of friends? The guys my age I dated in my twenties were usually the result of hooks ups. They would be part of my circle of friends, a crush would develop, and then one night we would make out at a party (awww, those were the days). Now, I have smaller circle of friends and expect men to ask and take me out. The result could be that older men are more likely to "date" women in official ways. And ps: as has been well established, you do not lack in the looks department. Yes sure, I really didn't find it as disruptive as you guys view it. I have posted about him on one of the threads here and nobody commented the way some of the posters did on this thread. I was young and didn't know any better. So, forgive me people. Anyway, I only have a handful of friends. I go out with only few of them. I never had hook ups though. All was a serious dating thing Thanks for the PS
stillafool Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 I dunno why but really no one from my age tried to court nor date me. I don't know but looking back, nobody from my age tried to come to me. Is there such a thing as "Older dude's magnet"? I would say the reason you date old men is because you like attention and for some reason men your age are not attracted to you so you have to date someone. Therefore you settle for old guys.
matte123 Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 My appearance? Uhm.. I'm pretty sophisticated but casual... I think the image you portray to people depends on clothes you wear and how you wear it if we're just looking at this from the view of a stranger. http://www.avantgardefashion.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Korean-Fashion-005.jpg < something like this which is sophisticated and casual can also have a youthful quality. If you wear something that makes you look much older than you are, it might deter younger men from approaching you if they are looking for someone in their age range.
Author DuchessKaye Posted May 12, 2012 Author Posted May 12, 2012 Thats creepy as hell. Im sorry, but any girls I was some sort of older brother figure to when growing up, would NEVER seem sexy to me once they were women. Id see them as family....yuck to the attraction part. smh @ this thread. Well, that is you... I know some people who married their childhood crushes that are way older than them. I'm SMH also By the way, I just saw you live in New York! We can meet and have a walk at DC when I get back from my trip Hope you won't hate me in real life.....
Author DuchessKaye Posted May 12, 2012 Author Posted May 12, 2012 I think the image you portray to people depends on clothes you wear and how you wear it if we're just looking at this from the view of a stranger. http://www.avantgardefashion.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Korean-Fashion-005.jpg < something like this which is sophisticated and casual can also have a youthful quality. If you wear something that makes you look much older than you are, it might deter younger men from approaching you if they are looking for someone in their age range. That's pretty much close to my fashion style. But I also wear denim jeans, shirts and some shorts sometimes.
matte123 Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 That's pretty much close to my fashion style. But I also wear denim jeans, shirts and some shorts sometimes. Then I'm out of ideas :/ Probably better to get a man's perspective than mines lol
Radu Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 I'm 23... And never had a boyfriend that's younger than 30. I was 14 when I had my first boyfriend, he was 36. When I turned 18, he turned 40. When we broke up, I had another boyfriend, a white dude, he was 43! Wait, he didn't look like 43, he looked like a 28 year old guy by his face, skin, body and smell, lol! And even now, he doesn't look like he's already on his late 50's. So young looking! When he went back to his home, we decided to call it off. I started dating and again, I had another white guy and he was 36, then 31 and then 34... And now, I'm with a 33 year old guy. I dunno why but really no one from my age tried to court nor date me. Well, I was talking before to a 26 year old guy but I just can't relate myself with the way he was living his life. I'm quite an immature sometimes but I don't like an immature guy. I've come to think of this coz I was talking to my friend earlier and she asked me why do I always get associated with older guys. And they don't seem to work all the all the time, and she told me to find one on my age and maybe it's going to work. I don't know but looking back, nobody from my age tried to come to me. Is there such a thing as "Older dude's magnet"? You were 14 and he was 36 ... now i understand your dad's reaction. I would have pressed for statutory in his place. I don't believe such a magnet exists, i suspect you might give off a vibe of 'uninterested' or 'unavailable' to younger guys. You might also have interests that are uncommon for someone of your age.
kaylan Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 (edited) Well, that is you... I know some people who married their childhood crushes that are way older than them. I'm SMH also riiiiight. Whatever you say. Its not like those relationships are bred out of an unhealthy power dynamic where the older person preys on the young, inexperienced, and naive youth. /sarcasm By the way, I just saw you live in New York! We can meet and have a walk at DC when I get back from my trip Hope you won't hate me in real life.....Who said I hate you? You bug me a bit, but thats far from hating you. And why would you want to befriend me? Im the furthest thing away from your beloved old white guys. *points to self* Chocolate boy and proud of it Edited May 12, 2012 by kaylan 2
SarahRose Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 just wondering if these old guys provided for you and your family financially. i hear about very poor over there love the kano who can provide for the family. plus all the many many scams. i hear about it so much and know guys who have been scammed i wonder if it is part of the culture.
Author DuchessKaye Posted May 12, 2012 Author Posted May 12, 2012 just wondering if these old guys provided for you and your family financially. i hear about very poor over there love the kano who can provide for the family. plus all the many many scams. i hear about it so much and know guys who have been scammed i wonder if it is part of the culture. ugh, big time NO... And I'm no longer in the Philippines
Author DuchessKaye Posted May 12, 2012 Author Posted May 12, 2012 If it's with my looks... Here take a look... KayesRandomPhotos.jpg picture by DuchessKaye - Photobucket
january2011 Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Do you want to be with a guy who is closer to you own age? Or do you prefer to be with guys who are much older? If it's the latter, I don't really see what the problem is. You're over 18, you're allowed to make these decisions.
Radu Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 If it's with my looks... Here take a look... KayesRandomPhotos.jpg picture by DuchessKaye - Photobucket Wow, are you really this submissive in RL ?
Author DuchessKaye Posted May 12, 2012 Author Posted May 12, 2012 Wow, are you really this submissive in RL ? No... I'm different in real life... (As I type these, I tremble)
Radu Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 No... I'm different in real life... (As I type these, I tremble) Yeah, you are deffinitely not feeding any stereotypes white men might have about asian girls and submisiveness.
matte123 Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Wow, are you really this submissive in RL ? How can you tell she looks submissive from her pics? Her pictures look like typical pictures a girl will take. You look like someone who's friendly and approachable. Besides your 1st picture, you look young. Maybe younger men are intimidated by your attractiveness?
RedRobin Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 You probably also come off as naive and that's also something that older guys look for. This......
dasein Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 I don't understand the extent that this thread has been turned into a typical stranger danger pedo thread or the level of flak OP is getting. That has nothing to do with what OP asks. She stated they didn't have sex before her turning 18 so that should be that. She certainly doesn't sound like she's been abused or taken advantage of by predators, if she had surely she would mention it. But OP I don't really understand what you are asking here, do you wish you could get with guys closer to your age? are you asking where to find more mature young men? One idea might be hanging out in grad student areas of universities if you are looking for more mature young men closer to your age. 1
RedRobin Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Yes I was young but he never touched me til I was 18... Is that enough to make him not a pervert? I don't think he was just after sex. We lived in the Philippines and people there believe in too much, like superstitions. He said, that when my Mom was giving birth, he was dreaming of me, a baby that was crying and for. So, he went to our house next door and when I was born he cried. He didn't even know my Mom's due date. But, to dream of me that night. He seriously thought it was something... And as I grew up, he took care of me. Too bad, superstitions didn't work for us. I read this and felt sad for you. You don't seem to have a healthy attachment to men. Where was your father? How is your relationship with him? I'm not being snarky. There is nothing healthy about a man that age 'dreaming' of being with that baby when she grows up. Maybe in your culture, it is 'normal'. Here, it is not normal. Think Woody Allen. He was a father figure to the 'woman' he ended up marrying. Most people are justified in feeling a bit repulsed by the incestuous overtones here. I personally care less that he waited until you were 18. He comes across as a vulture swirling round... waiting to dive in. Setting you up over the years... then swooping in at the time he couldn't be considered legally responsible. Gross. I'd recommend you seek some therapy... LS isn't going to help you. They will pat you on the head and say... "whatever makes you feel good sweetie"... and trolly you off to the next older man to take advantage of you. But you ARE 18. It may be morally repulsive, but it isn't illegal. good luck with that. 2
kaylan Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 I don't understand the extent that this thread has been turned into a typical stranger danger pedo thread or the level of flak OP is getting. That has nothing to do with what OP asks. She stated they didn't have sex before her turning 18 so that should be that. She certainly doesn't sound like she's been abused or taken advantage of by predators, if she had surely she would mention it. But OP I don't really understand what you are asking here, do you wish you could get with guys closer to your age? are you asking where to find more mature young men? One idea might be hanging out in grad student areas of universities if you are looking for more mature young men closer to your age. Que? A 36 yr old man who takes interest in, and primes a 14 yr old for a future sexual relationship, is a creeper and a predator. Its doubly worse considering this guy is a family friend and has known OP since she was a very young child. What kind of friend does that? A creepy predator thats who...or who you be ok with your daughter dating your good chum at 14 and then banging him at 18? And would you easily believe nothing ever went on between them before 18? No kissing or anything? Ha
mesmerized Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Que? A 36 yr old man who takes interest in, and primes a 14 yr old for a future sexual relationship, is a creeper and a predator. Its doubly worse considering this guy is a family friend and has known OP since she was a very young child. What kind of friend does that? A creepy predator thats who...or who you be ok with your daughter dating your good chum at 14 and then banging him at 18? And would you easily believe nothing ever went on between them before 18? No kissing or anything? Ha Of course it did She is not telling because she finds it embarrassing.
dasein Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 A 36 yr old man who takes interest in, and primes a 14 yr old for a future sexual relationship, is a creeper and a predator. Its doubly worse considering this guy is a family friend and has known OP since she was a very young child. What kind of friend does that? A creepy predator thats who...or who you be ok with your daughter dating your good chum at 14 and then banging him at 18? And would you easily believe nothing ever went on between them before 18? No kissing or anything? Ha Arguendo, if true, what the ... does that have to do with OP's question to the board? That she is some amnesiac victim of abuse to the extent that she can't form an age normal attraction? If so, it's unwarranted. She sounds completely healthy to me, who cares about the mental health of her exes? they aren't posting here.
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