bella890 Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 We broke up last saturday, I left for Spain.. Started with NC since I left, he wrote me last night asking him to "inform him" how I'm doing.. I want him to really feel the loss of loosing me and missing me.. By initiating contact too soon I'll feel he will once again gain the control of the situation since he is the one that broke up with me. How long should I wait to tell him how I'm doing... How long does it usually take for guys to realize the mistake in letting the ones they love go?
d'Arthez Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 The bigger the ass, the longer it takes for them to realize it (if ever). He may now only start to realize the consequences of his actions. Depending on how long you were together, you were a part of a life, and it is perhaps the "habit" he is missing more than anything else. Stick to no contact.
TaraMaiden Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 I want him to really feel the loss of loosing me and missing me.. By initiating contact too soon I'll feel he will once again gain the control of the situation since he is the one that broke up with me. If you feel this, then in all likelihood, it's exactly what is happening. so really, you have to decide to not let that transpire. You have to change what you do, in order to change the status quo... you have to modify what you believe... How long should I wait to tell him how I'm doing... I'd give it a year or so... or until such a time when you give a damn what he thinks, or wants to know... until you're indifferent that is. Whichever comes sooner. How long does it usually take for guys to realize the mistake in letting the ones they love go? there's no mistake here. He made a decision, and whether it's a mistake or not, is neither here or there. He did it. He cut you loose. Now, you may believe it to be a mistake, and so might he, but there's no timeframe. It's not what a person thinks, that counts. It's what they do. Read the no contact guide in my signature. it's a full worksheet on helping you move on. no manipulation, no subterfuge, no ulterior motive. the No contact guide is there for no other reason than to help you move on and heal. Do not reply, do not respond, do not give him the satisfaction. It may be hard, but the moment you refuse to pander to his playing, and receive a second text form him, seeking other input - you will know you will have 'won' round one.because 'round one' wasn't a genuine interest in how you're doing. Round one, was a way of making sure he can still yank your chain and get you to jump. He wants you to 'inform him'....? gimme a break! Leave it be. Enjoy your time in Spain, and relax. Turn you 'phone off, block him, delete him, and forget him. Hard. I know. But the more you give him access, the harder it will be. Accept nothing from him, and 'inform him' of nothing. You know why? Because from the moment he broke up with you, it stopped being any of his damn business. 1
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