I want her back, but i messed it up

[sad boy]

Im 18 yrs old

I have been in my first relationship with my girl(even this was her first) for 10 months, We really loved each other so much feelings were intense.

we broke up month and a half ago, for the trust issues and

 

WHAT HAPPEND AFTER BREAKING

we went through the stage of no contact for 15 days, she there wanting to be my frnd, just a friend

and I think she was conviced and about our trust issue

 

I asked her why couldnt we get back to the relation

she is here with a new problems

>she wants someone whose 4 years older than her(im 6 days yonger)

>she not clear in telling the problem there might be something else, but in my knowledge there is nothing so big that can prevent her getting back

she finally concludes that we will be friends forever love & marriage cant happen between us FOREVERRR!!!!

>Even if we are like frnds we text daily for 5 to 10 mins not like old days 24hrs texting

 

 

 

HOW I MESSED IT UP:

I was in fluctuating mode, i was the one who told her not to talk to me and i was back to her in 3 days saying that i can't live without talking her( same happend 3 times). and i also told that i find it very hard to be her friend.

She became more firm on her decision that you can only be my friend thats it! and she said but please dont stop talking to me again.

 

NOW my last message

 

I sent her a long message saying that i love her and cant look at her like a friend

she said that she was ok with with my age in the beginning bt why she age problem(im 6 days younger than her)

Im really worthy person to loose and i had been a fool in game of love

NOW DONT CHANGE YOUR DECISION, YOUR GATES ARE CLOSED

BYE

 

Her Mindset

>She is not always firm on her decisions, she may change them

>She has a very good opinion me and she dosent want to loose me as her friend at any cost

>I was her first love and she had intense feelings on me and i think she is not seeing any other guy too.

>once i told her not to contact even then she contacted me

>She knows that i love her more than anyone else

>She was like "okay we will think abt marriage & love in futre but we will be just frnds for now"

>She is childish

>she is cute

>She is lying to me recently during our post break uo frndship that her cell is not working so we cant text more daily etc etc(She is trying to control the amount of time we interact per day)

>She herself is confusing

 

 

 

MY REQUEST

 

I messed it up, i told her not to contact me ! she didnt text me since 6 days, I love her lke hell and cant stop thinking of her even for a moment, i FEELING HORRIBLE, i cant concentrate or do anything i really want her back, i cant live without her and i and my ex have final exams going on now !!!

Im feeling miserable!!!

Should i

A.Contact her again ask her to be my frnd first and think of anything else

(Il be a fool, as i told her not to contact if again contact her )

B.Should i wait for her to contact

(I have a fear of loosing her permanently)

 

what to do what to do ???

pleasee pleasee pleasee pleasee pleaseeeeee

helppppppppppp im going madd pleaseeee

tell me anything to do get her back

I just want her back!!!

tell me anything sensible !!

Il blindly follow your advice

[Exit]

If you will blindly follow advice, then please try to believe this: you are only 18, and there will be others. Trust me I know how you feel. I remember my first relationship troubles when I was in my late teens. It scared the crap out of my entire family how depressed I got. I've gone on to meet muuuuch better women than whoever broke my heart when I was 18. I know it's hard to see past this all now, you can't help but only have your current perspective, you don't have any proof that it'll get better or that you'll meet someone else, but you will. If you really mean it that you are willing to listen to whatever advice you get, then please believe me. You will survive this.

 

As far as your question, I would just leave her alone for now. You look kinda goofy telling her to leave you alone and then being the one to break down a few days later by contacting her again. You CAN live without talking to her, stop telling yourself nonsense like that. You lived 18 years without her just fine, you've only know her for 10 months, clearly you can live without her.