Is touchy flirting a sign for wanting sex or is it just a sign of interest?

[PlumPrincess]

I was watching this video yesterday:

and it got me thinking. I never touch guys a lot, but I think that's because in general I don't touch people a lot. And I think there is something about me that makes people hug me less if they don't know me well. So, even when I'm interested in a guy, it's going to stay on a verbal level first. On the other hand, guys do touch me. They meet me, they touch me once or twice and then usually it stops. I assume that since I don't reciprocate, they interpret it as disinterest and move on. I wonder, should I learn to be more comfortable touching people I might find interesting or are these guys moving too fast and expecting too much? When I look at the video, it seems to me that these two will have sex very soon, which is not what I want. I'm not sure if touching is necessary when it comes to flirting in order to express interest or if it does not signal readiness for something more.

[BCCA]

I think it depends greatly on the person and the nature of the touching. Im a touchy person, I pat people on the back when I walk by them and reach out and touch them when Im talking, but its totally not sexual.

 

Touching someone on the shoulder or back is one thing, putting your arm around them and grabbing their ass is another lol there is a pretty clear difference between friendly toucing and sexual touching, at least to me.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Kinda weird watching a video narrated by Tickle me Elmo's sister, but watev

 

And Is it a little "gay" that the first thing I thought when I saw the video was "her dress is hideous!"?

"When I look at the video, it seems to me that these two will have sex very soon, which is not what I want."

 

Well...they are at the bar, so that's kind of the usual course here, plus they're being very flirty, interested and showing the "lets get it on" fish bobble head eye lock.

 

So basically that shouldn't happen in this video unless you're in the "looking for fun" kind of mood and really interested, because it's extremely forward and obvious here.

 

Otherwise in a normal situation If a man touches you one on one, It's a sign he's interested in you, It typically works both ways on that...I never had a woman put her hand(s) and me and not be interested, usually a graze of the arm, hand contact or very close proximity or finds an excuse to be closer or touch you. A touch on the legs or thighs though is typically a sign things can get steamy real quick.

I wouldn't recommend going this far with a guy If you just simply want to let him know you're interested in him...all you need to do is smile, face him directly giving him your undivided attention, laugh at the silly things he's saying to make you laugh, and If he touches you then touch him back If you'd like, even a bit later on, on the shoulder or arm, or his hand(s), that'll give him the green light that you're interested but you don't have to touch heads, get close and act all flirty and wet and practically throw your vagina out on the floor so he can jump on it like a slide like the girl is acting in the video...just give small subtle hints, and smiles. It's how a lot men confirm that you're interested in them, physical contact. You don't have to give big hugs though.

 

Non-verbal communication is the easiest to read...I had an experience where I was on an international flight...my seat was next to an attractive woman, and didn't even know If she spoke English, what her name was...or what her voice even sounded like. I just knew the mutual attraction was there in the way she looked at me, it was a give and take non-verbal communicative situation (gesturing/touching) and I ended up making out (kissing) a person I just met a half hour ago and had said absolutely nothing to. There was a connection, chemistry, and we were just on the same wave-length in that moment, we even had a pretty deep/serious conversation...hours later :S but It was a weird moment, can't really explain It...this was completely unintentional and unexpected, not something I find myself doing...I'm not the type of guy that's in a rush as I like the mystery, the romance, the tension, the build-up, getting to know someone on an emotional level...yet probably much more sexual/physical than most guys!

 

But I did get caught off guard, it got me pretty good, I'm not used to being caught off balance...It wasn't the best timing and I didn't even press staying together that night even though I could have and it might have changed everything..but that wasn't what I was trying to accomplish.

 

Since I'm trying to leave my past behind..I don't attempt to "seduce" women anymore and haven't for years, I try to turn off that "ability" and I had them off then...which was surprising how easily it still happened. But I sincerely wasn't trying or having an agenda, so I would say be more open physically with men...just a little bit and not forward, just don't be afraid of touch.

[PlumPrincess]

Otherwise in a normal situation If a man touches you one on one, It's a sign he's interested in you,

Can it be assumed that these guys prefer to escalate the physical real quick? Or is it really just a harmless sign that they are interested in getting to know you better?

[PlumPrincess]

By the way, another question for everybody:

 

Yesterday I met this guy, it was not declared to be a date, but I also had never met him before. We took a stroll through the city and his bare arm was constantly touching my bare arm. I also think he was trying to get closer all the time. Instead of walking a straight line, we were drifting to one side all the time since I was trying to avoid him and he just kept on moving closer. I had to switch sides a couple of times because I got too close to a building or the road.

 

Are there people who just have low boundaries or was he trying to get closer?

[NeverDated]

That video isn't about flirting, it's about seduction. I guess if you want guaranteed one night stands every time...

 

Sounds like the guy you were walking with was trying to get closer. Or, it is possible he just can't walk straight (I have this problem, lol, and it drives me boyfriend nuts).

[Ninjainpajamas]

By the way, another question for everybody:

 

Can it be assumed that these guys prefer to escalate the physical real quick? Or is it really just a harmless sign that they are interested in getting to know you better?

 

Yesterday I met this guy, it was not declared to be a date, but I also had never met him before. We took a stroll through the city and his bare arm was constantly touching my bare arm. I also think he was trying to get closer all the time. Instead of walking a straight line, we were drifting to one side all the time since I was trying to avoid him and he just kept on moving closer. I had to switch sides a couple of times because I got too close to a building or the road.

 

Are there people who just have low boundaries or was he trying to get closer?

 

I think it's pretty obvious that most guys will want something to get physical rather quickly...It's an easy confirmation that you're interested.

 

If he's interested and wants to get to know you better he won't be in a rush, he won't try and dive right in and put on the heat indiscriminately.

 

It sounds like he was trying to get a little touchy with you, however pushing you into buildings seems like an odd situation but I'd have to see his body language of how he's walking with you...but honestly If a guy doesn't want to touch you he can pretty easily avoid it, just like people do every day in public together.

 

There are people who like to take it slow, and people that like to take it quickly with physical contact.

 

Like yourself I consider myself a little on the slower side, It's not that I'm afraid of people I just like getting to know someone better to feel comfortable with touching them, at least intimately...I'm not someone who just wants to get all touchy feely with someone even If the woman is extremely hot/beautiful...it still feels a little "awkward" unless the chemistry is good and we're on the same wave-length. But I'll go out of my way not to touch a woman out of respect, I personally don't make moves just to get little by little closer. Most women that I've met/dated tend to be pretty aggressive at least in my experience physically.

 

However I think most guys will try and inch their way closer to you and try to cop a feel in one form or another, most I believe will be comfortable with that immediate physical contact.

 

I would assume this guy is interested/attracted to you...It's a sign of flirtation...it won't tell you what his ultimate intentions are, that answers comes from how he handles himself when answering those types of questions, whether he's vague and avoiding, or clear and seems genuine about it.

 

Let guys know that are interested in you If they're being very aggressive or flirty that you do take things very slow when it comes to physical contact. Men won't simply walk away If you seem interested, that depends on your attitude and demeanor, do you seem interested and inviting? or stand-offish and not in the moment...some women have a hard time showing interested non-verbally, so it's best to try to express yourself and make yourself much more clear, you've got to be able to communicate with people and break down barriers instead of leave confusion which can be hard and uncomfortable for some, especially If they feel they are being clear which is usually the case...however from the outside looking in, confusing and that's because these men are not confident enough to put themselves out there in fear of getting burned.

[PlumPrincess]

I think it's pretty obvious that most guys will want something to get physical rather quickly...It's an easy confirmation that you're interested.

 

If he's interested and wants to get to know you better he won't be in a rush, he won't try and dive right in and put on the heat indiscriminately.

 

It sounds like he was trying to get a little touchy with you, however pushing you into buildings seems like an odd situation but I'd have to see his body language of how he's walking with you...but honestly If a guy doesn't want to touch you he can pretty easily avoid it, just like people do every day in public together.

 

There are people who like to take it slow, and people that like to take it quickly with physical contact.

 

Like yourself I consider myself a little on the slower side, It's not that I'm afraid of people I just like getting to know someone better to feel comfortable with touching them, at least intimately...I'm not someone who just wants to get all touchy feely with someone even If the woman is extremely hot/beautiful...it still feels a little "awkward" unless the chemistry is good and we're on the same wave-length. But I'll go out of my way not to touch a woman out of respect, I personally don't make moves just to get little by little closer. Most women that I've met/dated tend to be pretty aggressive at least in my experience physically.

 

However I think most guys will try and inch their way closer to you and try to cop a feel in one form or another, most I believe will be comfortable with that immediate physical contact.

 

I would assume this guy is interested/attracted to you...It's a sign of flirtation...it won't tell you what his ultimate intentions are, that answers comes from how he handles himself when answering those types of questions, whether he's vague and avoiding, or clear and seems genuine about it.

 

Let guys know that are interested in you If they're being very aggressive or flirty that you do take things very slow when it comes to physical contact. Men won't simply walk away If you seem interested, that depends on your attitude and demeanor, do you seem interested and inviting? or stand-offish and not in the moment...some women have a hard time showing interested non-verbally, so it's best to try to express yourself and make yourself much more clear, you've got to be able to communicate with people and break down barriers instead of leave confusion which can be hard and uncomfortable for some, especially If they feel they are being clear which is usually the case...however from the outside looking in, confusing and that's because these men are not confident enough to put themselves out there in fear of getting burned.

Thanks, I feel normal now. I like hugs and I like to be touched, just not be everybody. Inching your way closer to someone does strike me as a serious violation of someone's body and personal space. I'm glad that touching in the beginning is not required to express interest.

 

By the way, the guy mentioned in the beginning that he thought that people at home were so afraid of hugs. I thought it was a somewhat weird comment since he is from Spain and people here in general are not famous for being warm and touchy-feely. And he was very, very interested in the waitress. He chatted her up and when we left, he let me keep on walking and stayed behind, so he could continue talking with her. It's not superoffensive, but also not quite my style. I guess, we're not that compatible.

[mtber75]

Kinda weird watching a video narrated by Tickle me Elmo's sister, but watev

 

And Is it a little "gay" that the first thing I thought when I saw the video was "her dress is hideous!"?

 

My thoughts exactly...I'm gay or just an metrosexual LOL.

 

It really depends on the individual or the culture. Some Cultures are very touchy, feel while some are stand offish (Hispanic and Japanese respectively) I mean you really don't need to reciprocate if you feel uncomfortable touching. But it helps easing the communication barrier. Hugs, kisses and handshakes are universal signs of affection/friendliness.

[LittlePrince]

I was watching this video yesterday:

and it got me thinking. I never touch guys a lot, but I think that's because in general I don't touch people a lot. And I think there is something about me that makes people hug me less if they don't know me well. So, even when I'm interested in a guy, it's going to stay on a verbal level first. On the other hand, guys do touch me. They meet me, they touch me once or twice and then usually it stops. I assume that since I don't reciprocate, they interpret it as disinterest and move on. I wonder, should I learn to be more comfortable touching people I might find interesting or are these guys moving too fast and expecting too much? When I look at the video, it seems to me that these two will have sex very soon, which is not what I want. I'm not sure if touching is necessary when it comes to flirting in order to express interest or if it does not signal readiness for something more.

A girl I met in the parking lot of the retailer I worked for did touch flirting on me with her boyfriend right behind her and I had never seen her before. What did it mean? Who knows....

[runner]

wow what an annoying video; i didn't last one minute. the girl narrating sounded like an australian fran drescher on helium