LSgirl Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 This guy that I've been sort of seeing, although I'm not serious about getting into a relationship at this point, he likes me a lot and we are very close friends. This is a guy who would be willing to be with me in a heartbeat if I had asked to, and he's a very sweet and honest guy. However, knowing that he likes me so much, I e-mailed him earlier saying how I wanted to learn this old Romeo and Juliet song on the piano, the 1968 version with Olivia Hussey. I told him how I used to think Olivia Hussey (actress who played Juliet) was so beautiful. When he replied back, he agreed saying she was pretty and that she reminded him of his friend. In the previous e-mail he had mentioned the vietnamese dish 'pho to which I said I don't like to eat 'pho, he said his friend (the girl who looks like the actress) had posted on her facebook about 'pho and it made him want to go out and get some. For some reason, that kind of irritated me and made me feel jealous. I tried to stop for a second and wonder why I would even be jealous, this is a guy who goes out of his way to talk to me, tells me how much he likes me, his feelings are stronger than mine, and one little comment just turned me off. I'm sure he didn't mean it to come off like that, just saying his friend was pretty as her, but that made me feel jealous and almost insecure? To the point where I don't even feel like replying back to his e-mail for another day lol And to even feel like that vindictive to not reply makes me feel terrible I'd even just stop responding bc it made me a little upset. What in the world is wrong with me? I know that's not healthy.
GG3 Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Do you think you are pretty? As in how you feel about yourself. Do you like how you look?
Author LSgirl Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 Yes, I do consider myself attractive, but nothing like Olivia Hussey lol I think she's absolutely beautiful. He could have just stopped at "I agree she's pretty" but he had to add that she reminded him of his friend...
nessaaa Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 youre feeling jealous because you know he's talking to other girls, not just you.
Professor X Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 This guy that I've been sort of seeing, although I'm not serious about getting into a relationship at this point, he likes me a lot and we are very close friends. This is a guy who would be willing to be with me in a heartbeat if I had asked to, and he's a very sweet and honest guy. However, knowing that he likes me so much, I e-mailed him earlier saying how I wanted to learn this old Romeo and Juliet song on the piano, the 1968 version with Olivia Hussey. I told him how I used to think Olivia Hussey (actress who played Juliet) was so beautiful. When he replied back, he agreed saying she was pretty and that she reminded him of his friend. In the previous e-mail he had mentioned the vietnamese dish 'pho to which I said I don't like to eat 'pho, he said his friend (the girl who looks like the actress) had posted on her facebook about 'pho and it made him want to go out and get some. For some reason, that kind of irritated me and made me feel jealous. I tried to stop for a second and wonder why I would even be jealous, this is a guy who goes out of his way to talk to me, tells me how much he likes me, his feelings are stronger than mine, and one little comment just turned me off. I'm sure he didn't mean it to come off like that, just saying his friend was pretty as her, but that made me feel jealous and almost insecure? To the point where I don't even feel like replying back to his e-mail for another day lol And to even feel like that vindictive to not reply makes me feel terrible I'd even just stop responding bc it made me a little upset. What in the world is wrong with me? I know that's not healthy. I'll take it that you're fairly young, yes? Because you sound like one of those, and sorry for what I'm about to say, attention-seeker. You don't like this friend of your for who he is, you like him for the attention you give him. If another guy were to come on board with as much attention you'd also feel the same. Feels like you keep him on the back burner until mr.right comes along, so for now, his sole purpose is to provide you with the attention you need. You feel jealous cause you feel you might lose it, because of that other girl. I'd also imagine he brings up that other friend of his to let you know he's starting to think about others, perhaps he did that to make you feel jealous as well, so that you might wanna have a proper RS with him in fear of losing him. I haven't got any tips for ya cause I honestly don't know how you can change the way you feel. I avoid attention-seekers women like yourself as if they were plagued (sorry, nothing personal!). I might be wrong though.
Author LSgirl Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 I posted this a few days ago but I've talked a lot with him since (on different matters) that I don't know why I was so bothered by his statement at the time I wrote this. The girl he's referring is not a threat as she lives in another country, but whether it was her or anyone, I guess you could say I got jealous since it's simply another girl. Professor X, I don't think I am that fairly young, I will be 27 this year and he just turned 29. The point you made about him being on the back burner maybe somewhat true. And this is something more important than what he said about that girl. I don't even know want to discuss that Olivia Hussey comment he made as it's no longer in my head. I'm not sure if you will read this, but if you have any advice...I do have feelings for him, if I didn't have any then I wouldn't waste my time talking to him everyday. His feelings are much stronger than mine, but I'm worried that I could like someone more since my feelings are not as strong as his. He's very introverted, and have never been with someone as introverted as him although I am one myself. What I like most about him are his values/morals. I have never met anyone who I have had more in common with as far as the way we see relationships, life, he's someone I trust and I can't say that for a lot of people I know. He knows all this, too. I think part of it may be due to that I am not that physically attracted to him as I am with his mind that might be holding me back from wanting to really be with him.
lynbetz Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Maybe you have stronger feelings for this man than you thought? Maybe the thought of him seeing or being with someone else that isn't you is making you have stronger feelings for him.. If it were me i would go out on a few dates with him. Life is too short and if the two of you are as close as you say you are you don't want someone else to get in their first.
Zane Lovepoxx Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 I have never been in a relationship that I ever got jealous. I was the pretty cool girlfriend, never had the need to snoop, spy, check on phones, emails, computer history, never called in to check what my partner is doing, i respected friend time etc. Until I met my current beau. We are from totally different worlds, and we were quick to realize that. We had a different value system, and even if our fundamentals are pretty much the same, we had different lines and boundaries. I have never encountered this personality in the form of a man. I've realized that most of his inherent characteristics were too- of the female mind. In my mind at times I find myself calling him a bitch instead of an ***hole, he would rather strengthen friendships with women than men. Around his guy friends, he seems to be a little out of place. He grew up in a clan of which 90 percent are women, with strong big personalities. I have been introduced to his female best friends and they seem to be of the same kind of mold. I, having come from a very beautiful relationship which lasted for almost a decade, and only came to an end because of my wanting to explore what's out there, having come from a relationship where we really fit, I have put myself in a situation where the only thing that was excellent in the current relationship was something that lacked in the previous relationship. Before I proceed, I need to know what is normal. I need you to help me process things, by that I need people from different cultures come and respond to these points so I would know what the basic norms are. I hope you can help me. 1. " When in a group, I don't want us to look and act like a couple." (Situation being: while walking he would rather assist, pay attention, put his arm around his girl best friend, while i should be walking alone. when in dinner, i'm supposed to be on the other end of the table while they catch up.) 2. "Kissing friends on the lips is normal" 3. " Sleeping beside each other without you is normal' 4. Terms of endearment love, hun etc 5. " A wedding is not about you, it's all about your mother-in-law. It's her party" 6. "work before you" there are a lot more, but i can't recall for now. two years worth of bullcrap that i have to try to remember. help me establish what's acceptable, then i'll proceed to my point.
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