budley12 Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Just looking for some support I guess. I know that you all said not to text back and stay NC. I wish I had listened. It seemed he really wanted to mend things and maybe start again. Over the past week he dumped the new guy and started texting me again. Everything seemed fine and he said he wanted to meet up until he heard I was fooling around with someone (which wasnt true)... After texting him two days ago saying "well if you want to meet up, let me know" I havnt gotten anything back. We both head back to our home states sunday and wont see each other for another 7months since we are both studying abroad. I asked my roommate to text him tonight to see if he would respond and he did. Come to find out my ex was only texting me because he was bored and lonely from his new breakup. I am so hurt and depressed yet again. Here I got my hopes up again, and he played with my emotions saying he wanted to meet up... Why am I still in love with an *******. I love him so much. You would think that after 6months I would be over it. I guess I am just looking for some supportive words. Thanks
Comfortably Numb Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Well the time you've been broken up hasn't done any healing because you keep reaching. Now that you realize it's finalized. Make a serious effort to abstain completely from any contact. It will not be beneficial to beat yourself up. We all make mistakes. Use it as a lesson learned.
jennisfora Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 it is hard to give up on someone you are still in love with, and it is even harder when they reach out. my ex wants to meet up too, but he is out of town for a week, i won't be too shocked if he decides to not call and meet up. at this point, i am going to act like he isn't going to actually materialize, so i wont be disappointed. i feel ya though. it is hard to give up, even when deep down you know you will have to eventually. some of us have to exhaust every avenue before we accept defeat. just know that if you want to be happy, sooner you let him go, sooner you can be on the mend. *hugs*
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Eh...6 months is still early and you keep ripping the wound open each time you break NC. Expect nothing and you shall not be disappointed. No more of this nonsense about hoping to meet. This person doesn't make you a priority, yet you are putting so much stock into this person who is moved on. Time for you to continue healing without this ex in your life.
Author budley12 Posted May 12, 2012 Author Posted May 12, 2012 thanks for the replies everyone. my heart just feels like it was ripped out of my chest again. I feel so alone and am bawling my eyes out. Idk what is wrong with me. I was getting so strong and healing over this, and then I let my guard down to nothing but pain.
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 thanks for the replies everyone. my heart just feels like it was ripped out of my chest again. I feel so alone and am bawling my eyes out. Idk what is wrong with me. I was getting so strong and healing over this, and then I let my guard down to nothing but pain. life's lessons learned;) Now you know not to break NC, it sets you back, but you are healing as you read this; you just can't tell. But you are. Every day is one day closer to inner peace.
Author budley12 Posted May 12, 2012 Author Posted May 12, 2012 im tempted to send one last written message. Saying that I still love him and that I hope he has a nice trip abroad. And that I was not with that one guy. Would that be justified?
jennisfora Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 stop the pain...don't do it, one last message won't help. he was never interested in getting back together, only wanted to know that you were still waiting in the wings...you have to stop putting your hand in the fire. *hugs* 1
flitzanu Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 im tempted to send one last written message. Saying that I still love him and that I hope he has a nice trip abroad. And that I was not with that one guy. Would that be justified? no. actually, let him believe you were with someone else. make shake the ego a bit from believing you only had eyes for him. yaknow? plus, study abroad!! that should put you in a new place, new memories, at least you won't be revisiting the same corner shop, the same stores, blah blah...that remind you of those memories. you'll get to heal in an entirely new place with no reminders right around the street. i wish i'd been so lucky.
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 im tempted to send one last written message. Saying that I still love him and that I hope he has a nice trip abroad. And that I was not with that one guy. Would that be justified? OMG...Do we have to smack you or something? Really? You've not learned a thing about NC and what it has done to you. One last message? Does not do a damned thing for you, but makes your ex's ego inflate. You have nothing to explain because it doesn't matter if you were with the Three Stooges. This person clearly does not care. If he did, he would move mountains to see you and would be wishing YOU a good ay. Please, stop doing this to yourself. 1
Comfortably Numb Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 If you want, you know you can always vent here. Rather than sending him anything, send it to us. Or just blow off steam! No use continuing down a failed pathway. My own personal motto, It is better to be thought a fool, then to open ones mouth and remove all doubt! Besides all that, I love the three stooges! So, I probably would care if the previous woman i was with was hanging out with them. Although, thinking about it more closely, I would probably alert the authorities. Seeing as they are all dead. 1
Author budley12 Posted May 12, 2012 Author Posted May 12, 2012 I'm a wreck. Thanks for your replies everyone. I think I do need to be slapped... I really think I may need to see professional help. I was starting to finally get over things and move on, and then the ******* just had to reach out to me. And now I am back at square one. Luckily, tomorrow I am heading home, and wont be here in this environment or tempted to reach out to him. Well, I have the letter written. 3 pages. I have not decided to give it to him yet, nor do I think I should... but it just says how I still love him, how i miss him, how i've changed, past memories between us, how things would be different, why we deserve another chance... blah blah. And i threw in personal weight lifting jokes to lighten the mood some. But you are all right, it would just be an ego boost to him but I really think it would make me feel better just getting it out there one last time. I mean really, what do I have to lose? We are both heading away anyways, and it wont matter. Since I will be away from here I will be able to heal and do things without seeing him or wanting to do things with him, and this will also give him time to really ponder on what I said in the note?
flitzanu Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 I'm a wreck. Thanks for your replies everyone. I think I do need to be slapped... I really think I may need to see professional help. I was starting to finally get over things and move on, and then the ******* just had to reach out to me. And now I am back at square one. Luckily, tomorrow I am heading home, and wont be here in this environment or tempted to reach out to him. Well, I have the letter written. 3 pages. I have not decided to give it to him yet, nor do I think I should... but it just says how I still love him, how i miss him, how i've changed, past memories between us, how things would be different, why we deserve another chance... blah blah. And i threw in personal weight lifting jokes to lighten the mood some. But you are all right, it would just be an ego boost to him but I really think it would make me feel better just getting it out there one last time. I mean really, what do I have to lose? We are both heading away anyways, and it wont matter. Since I will be away from here I will be able to heal and do things without seeing him or wanting to do things with him, and this will also give him time to really ponder on what I said in the note? nothing to lose except a bit of selfish pride. the problem is, you're going to send it and you're going to want/expect some type of reaction. we say we don't, but we always do. therein lies the problem. so no, you don't really have anything to "lose" by doing it, but you've got NOTHING to gain from it. you're just going to be repeating everything you've said already to him, and you're reinforcing how much control he has over you and your emotions. i just recently posted my own past experience and letter, if you're curious to see the time i spent on mine, with absolutely zero reaction to it, from 2010.
jennisfora Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 budley, he knows how you feel about him, he really does. a letter like that will only drive him further away, as it will just make him think you are an obessive ex who can't move on, which is NOT attractive! if you need to send the letter, post it here. this letter will not make this guy change his mind. you cannot change his mind, only he can do that. he knows how you feel, a letter like this will only make you look bad, and make him feel guilty for not sharing the same feelings, or think you are pyscho, it will not help your case! *hugs* 1
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