coolrunning Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 I was in abusive relationship for 4 months, I was able to see the signs and get out. It was mostly emotional abuse but at the end it turned physical. He would try and over power me and force me to preform sexual act with him. He was my first boyfriend, it has now been over two years and I haven't been with anyone else. I have moved on mentally and am trying to start a new relationship with a new guy but I am fearful because I have never had a positive sexual experience with anyone and the only thing I know is his abusive ways that I am going to freakout when the new guy makes a move. I don't know how to approach things with the new guy. I don't want to get into a situation where I flash back or fall back into the negative mindset right after the abuse. I have a hard time talking about what happened to me. Any words of wisdom?
hinatticus Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 You need to tell the new guy. I made the mistake of not wanting to know of my ex's past abusive boyfriend. Had I known I would've been more receptive to her. Lots of guys will playfully grab at their girlfriends. You don't want to think he's abusing you when he thinks he's showing affection. All I can say is only you will know when you're ready.
hinatticus Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Also, have you seen a counselor? If not you really should. I was embarrassed and scared to see one, but they can be very helpful. Good luck
CopingGal Posted May 20, 2012 Posted May 20, 2012 Take your time and go very slowly. When you trust him, you can tell him of your experience. Be good to yourself and seek out counseling. Try journaling your feelings to on a regular basis.
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