notaneatfreak Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 (edited) While spending some time with my friends, one of my guy friends, whom I like a lot, we kissed. Later I found out that he has someone else yet they aren't in a relationship but they have had a past and they are not sure where it lies. I did not know that at all, and part of me feels guilty for kissing him and part of me feels not. He's not sure where that is going to go since he has not seen her in a while. He said he likes me but we are just friends and not to worry about the kiss. He said I can text and call him anytime and that he is okay with what we did. I don't know how to respond to that. What do I do? I want him to find peace with the other relationship before entering into a possible one with him, yet at the same time I am scared he is going to leave and not come back. What do I do? What does this mean? Edited May 12, 2012 by notaneatfreak
spiderowl Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 How did you find out about his other relationship? Did he tell you or someone else? Him saying you are just friends is a bit like someone friendzoning you, but it depends what you both said to each other beforehand. If you were clearly worried about this other girl, then he may have been trying to reassure you. He still wants to keep in touch with you as he's pretty much encouraging you to. I think you are right to want some clarification over the other relationship. I feel there is a danger this guy is going to play around with both girls, pretending it's ok to kiss and still be 'just friends'. Until he can tell you that she's clearly out of the picture and that he's attracted to you now, I'd keep your kisses to yourself. Let him make some commitments to where he is now, e.g. that his previous relationship is over and that he does want to be more than friends with you. You deserve more than to be someone's back-up plan for when he's not with his regular girlfriend.
Author notaneatfreak Posted May 12, 2012 Author Posted May 12, 2012 it's a little more complicated than i care to share on a forum. my sister told me about the other girl but he's still not sure. basically i think i am just gonna let be let be for now.
PlumPrincess Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 basically i think i am just gonna let be let be for now. Yeah, that's probably better. If you're not careful, you will become backburner girl. He probably figured out already that you're kind of interested in him and he might try to feed you crumbs of affection to keep you around until he figures out how he feels about his old girlfriend.
goldengirl11 Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Yeah, that's probably better. If you're not careful, you will become backburner girl. He probably figured out already that you're kind of interested in him and he might try to feed you crumbs of affection to keep you around until he figures out how he feels about his old girlfriend. Or worse still until he gets an answer from her. It's kind of painful reading this as it brings back similar memories, so I know how you're feeling.
Author notaneatfreak Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 Thanks - nice knowing I am not the only one in this world going through this amount of pain and confusion.
Author notaneatfreak Posted May 15, 2012 Author Posted May 15, 2012 So now he's ignoring me. I ask him to do stuff he's basically turned me down four times. He doesn't want to hang out. I know it sounds high schoolish but I am certain he's trying to avoid me. He said we'd still be friends but now I don't even know if that's true. Ugh. IDK what to do.
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