josephangel00 Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Looking for some good advice on a break up on bad terms? Ok So about a month a half ago my ex broke up with me. All started by her taking another guys number in front of me. Then an incident at a concert with this guy where he brought drama to my life and my ex then claimed "he is a psychopath & i want nothing to do with him" and as we argued I did display a bad temper but NEVER put my hands on her. She breaks up with me that same week. She then starts being nice & friends with this guy again . She kept saying she wanted us to be friends. Then about a week ago i walk somewhere and see them kissing hugging each other which really made me upset!!! I feel like I been set up since that concert and feel cheated on, lied, etc.. When I wanted closure she couldn't explain her actions to me when I asked. She only claims " im sorry i never meant to hurt you" & I personally feel it's a bull**** lie! She refuse t give me closure and imo "silence" is the biggest lie anyone can tell anyone especially if i was only asking her for the truth. Instead she tries to send her bf to tell me to back off! I DO NOT want this girl back! I only wanted the honest truth for closure but never got it! I am not going to lie I feel vengeful however at the same time I know by making anymore contact at her I would only make the situation worse and keep this hanging over my head. I also know if I were to take vengence I know I could only end up facing jail time, court, legal issues, etc. Something I really do not need! Its NOT really hard for me to cross that line and take my revenge but I know truthfully deep down inside my heart that if I cross that line to the other side i know i will NOT be coming back! in the end i truthfully know that vengence will NOT make me feel better in any way or form! I want justice but don't know how it can happen in this situation! I know the answer is to just forget her and move on & keep my distance from both of them. Here's what I did to help pass the time and help myself heal .... - Starting doing more intense cardio workout - practice Muy Thai martial arts exercise. - Hang out with friends whenever possible. - go to concerts of bands i like - go to nightclubs and try to meet new girls. - started eating more healthy - started to cutdown my drinking a lot. - started bachata dancing I know truthfully the best revenge in this situation is to move on and live a fun/successful/good life . I know Im a good person (who didn't deserve this) & Im not a monster! I do not want to get myself in trouble in law & I do NOT want to give them the satisfaction of knowing she deeply hurt me and made me unhappy! I know I deserve better and know I'll evetually get there! I do admit I am still feeling vengeful & have a hard time forgetting this. I keep hoping that somehow the whole "what come around goes around" thing happens to them soon enough or that somehow a new beautiful angel comes into my life or that a form of huge success in my life comes knocking on my door soon! I admit i have VERY little patience and DO NOT like waiting! If there is a way I can speed this and move on I am open for suggestions. I like to hear other advice to help me feel better about what I am trying to do with my life cuz like anyone I just want to put this whole thing behind me!
esteem-jam Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 (edited) The thing with vengeance, law, justification for you, jail... Think about this: walk in the park, walk anywhere in fact, go anywhere you want for a while and think- if you get busted, there will be nothing of this, you will miss it- the road, the trees, shops, stores, events, movies, sports, television and chill time eating good food- all this will be gone if cops come after you. There was this line in one cinematic version of Count of Monte Cristo: leave revenge in God`s hands. Of course he didnt listen, but heartbreak is totally different. Still I suggest leave the judgement to higher powers, they might not give her car crash and disabled baby... cause from their point of view nothing biggie has happened- she left you and said some dumb words... but the truth is in the writings now, whataver happened, intentionally or not. And I will give one example. There was this topic on some news site, how an angry boyfriend did an acid attack on his ex-gf- thrown acid in her face, and face got severely disfigured. It was something classic- he was bombarding her with texts, she "silent treatment" or something, and voila. So he had his "revenge", and went to jail for it. But to me it seemed it totally didnt work out like he wanted/planned. Even in the disfigured facial skin of the girl I could see beauty, ambition, light, hope, joy, future. The bf is in jail, and here is the supposedly unhappy girlfriend, giving interviews on major newspaper and telling about her aspirations for future. Who "won"? The result was not like he wanted. Some people just cant be knocked down like that. If you were to go out on the street and somebody told you: hey man, you have ****ty shoes. You would brush off him like an idiot. But if someone important told you this- youd be hurt. But she is in the unhurtable position... she will know exactly why you do this and what you are after, it wont work, not like that... leave yourself and her to the universe, just part. Edited May 12, 2012 by esteem-jam 1
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