Phennyphen Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Theres this guy I work with, known him 3 years and when we met we both liked each other, I had a BF at the time though so nothing happened. Last summer (after, I'm sorry but, being truly friendzoned by me haha) he asked me out soon after I split up with my ex, but I said no that I just see him as a friend. Anyway he's just split up with his gf and wont stop texting me, I'm talking 3,4,5 texts about crap like the weather and what he had for tea, in sucession. He's even texted me a few times at 3am when I've been asleep, just saying 'what you up to?' or 'I cant sleep ' Even when I ignore him he still texts, last time I checked its been 5 texts since I replied to him, last text was something about how he's going shopping for waterproof pants. Yes really. If theres one thing I detest, its needy people, so how do I brush him off without offending him but at the same time get him to stop texting me inane **** constantly? I've already told him I'm not into him like that. It has occured to me that maybe hes just lonely since splitting with his gf so maybe I should just be a friend and be "there for him", but I dont want to give him the wrong impression if he's trying to make a move, especially as he's sooo needy.
FitChick Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Tell him he sounds very lonely and unhappy. Has he tried online dating?
louise_23 Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Theres this guy I work with, known him 3 years and when we met we both liked each other, I had a BF at the time though so nothing happened. Last summer (after, I'm sorry but, being truly friendzoned by me haha) he asked me out soon after I split up with my ex, but I said no that I just see him as a friend. Anyway he's just split up with his gf and wont stop texting me, I'm talking 3,4,5 texts about crap like the weather and what he had for tea, in sucession. He's even texted me a few times at 3am when I've been asleep, just saying 'what you up to?' or 'I cant sleep ' Even when I ignore him he still texts, last time I checked its been 5 texts since I replied to him, last text was something about how he's going shopping for waterproof pants. Yes really. If theres one thing I detest, its needy people, so how do I brush him off without offending him but at the same time get him to stop texting me inane **** constantly? I've already told him I'm not into him like that. It has occured to me that maybe hes just lonely since splitting with his gf so maybe I should just be a friend and be "there for him", but I dont want to give him the wrong impression if he's trying to make a move, especially as he's sooo needy. download a call/text blocker and blacklist his number. simples. he'll get bored.if you.never reply im sure.
Andy_K Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 (after, I'm sorry but, being truly friendzoned by me haha) It amuses me no end to hear this, when so many girls on this and other boards harp on about the friend zone being a myth Just ignore him and he'll stop. Or, start talking to him about other guys you fancy. He'll soon find it so soul-destroying that he gives up on you.
Author Phennyphen Posted May 11, 2012 Author Posted May 11, 2012 Oh the friendzone is no myth, its a very real place from which there is no return, enter at your peril!
louise_23 Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Ooh extreme! I like it! i speak from experience! ive had different degrees of extreme pursuit but the worst was some guy id been friends with for a long time. i always said i wanted nothing more than friendship. one night he sent me 221 text messages. one of them said "i know youre ignorong me, but ive got a bottle of tequila, a 6 mile walk and nothing better to do". that was crazy to wake up to in the morning as hed sent them between 2am-5am. downloaded text blocker, problem solved. sometimes i think any response to these kinds of behaviours just fan the crazy ass flames. ill never understand these crazy ****ers that relentlessy harass people. i mean, take a hint and go find your self respect.
Author Phennyphen Posted May 11, 2012 Author Posted May 11, 2012 221 text messages. one of them said "i know youre ignorong me, but ive got a bottle of tequila, a 6 mile walk and nothing better to do". **** me, 221 in one night?! I'm starting to feel unloved now ill never understand these crazy ****ers that relentlessy harass people. i mean, take a hint and go find your self respect. he cant feel good about what hes doing, that itself is offputting that he values himself so little 1
dasein Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 "I need to borrow $5000, can you help me out? I can repay sometime in 2014 once the first crop comes in from Afghanistan." Gone. 2
manup Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Theres this guy I work with, known him 3 years and when we met we both liked each other, I had a BF at the time though so nothing happened. Last summer (after, I'm sorry but, being truly friendzoned by me haha) he asked me out soon after I split up with my ex, but I said no that I just see him as a friend. Anyway he's just split up with his gf and wont stop texting me, I'm talking 3,4,5 texts about crap like the weather and what he had for tea, in sucession. He's even texted me a few times at 3am when I've been asleep, just saying 'what you up to?' or 'I cant sleep ' Even when I ignore him he still texts, last time I checked its been 5 texts since I replied to him, last text was something about how he's going shopping for waterproof pants. Yes really. If theres one thing I detest, its needy people, so how do I brush him off without offending him but at the same time get him to stop texting me inane **** constantly? I've already told him I'm not into him like that. It has occured to me that maybe hes just lonely since splitting with his gf so maybe I should just be a friend and be "there for him", but I dont want to give him the wrong impression if he's trying to make a move, especially as he's sooo needy. Go out on a date with him, seriously I have a hunch you'll get a long.
ascendotum Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 ill never understand these crazy ****ers that relentlessy harass people. i mean, take a hint and go find your self respect. Too much tequilla is great for temporarily eradicating self respect. 221 txts is just so over the top ****ed....you sure were on his mind! Sometimes I've seen guys persevere despite having numerous 0 positive reactions from the woman, and its hard to know for sure are they desperate, really dumb at reading social cues, think its shows determination + passion for the woman or have had success with wearing down women in the past. Not every guy who is a bit determined and love struck over your beauty is crazy ass though. If OP has not sat him and down and said now listen here.....", then I think blocking a 'friend' is a little harsh, since its not that hard to ignore + delete and he hasnt quite escalated into creepster territory. Oh the friendzone is no myth, its a very real place from which there is no return, enter at your peril! Yep, young guys need to realise, there is no return from the friendzone, still..if a girl is in a relationship and ignores your flirting + stays good friends with you, to me that is not being placed in the friendzone. When a girl is single and informs you how she considers you a good friend or like a brother, then thats friendzone. As you said, he's lonely and you're a friend and you kind of indicated that you have not given him the brush off recently since he became single and I take it you're single too. You need to set him straight that nothing has changed since you last told him that you see him as just a friend. Give him some advice, that when he finds another girl that is interested in him, to go easy on the txts and to take note of what the girl responds with, because 5 txts per day makes him seem too needy and if all txts go unanswered it means the girl is not into you. You could take dasein's suggestion and do something to scare him away.
gaius Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Tell him your new boyfriend doesn't like him texting you so much.
Mrlonelyone Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 You could tell him in simple and unequivocal terms that your not interested in a romantic relationship with him. After that if he's a real friend (which after these many years he should be) he will back off for a while. Then sometime down the road you may be able to reconnect with him as a friend. He's clearly not some pathetic looser guy. He just came out of a relationship.
Mrlonelyone Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Tell him your new boyfriend doesn't like him texting you so much. Unless that's the truth it might just piss him off. You assume he would be scared by her boyfriend?
Eddie Edirol Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 he cant feel good about what hes doing, that itself is offputting that he values himself so little He doesnt value himself little, he just doesnt know that youre not into him because you havent told him straight up that he needs to stop contacting you.
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