heartless2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 I met this girl while going to college , at first I didn't give her a second thought but we started to chill, went on a few dates. She was my ride to school, so we spend a bunch of time together during the week. This went on for a few months, and things where going good, soon I started to get real feelings for her. I don't what happen, I think I might have come on too strong or something, but she started to pull away i would ask her to chill and there would be excuse after excuse. So I finally ask what was going on and she told me that it was no going to work, so I tried the friend thing but I could not do it, If i just got shot down in the first place it would have not been that bad but now it was too much. Well I didn't take it so well, started to pick arguments With her, tried to find ways to annoy her and just being an over all *******. At the same time this was happening, her mother had passed away, so will she was dealing with that, I was trying to mess with her. Every time I would try to make things right, it just made things worst and I would just get upset and I just go back to **** with her . So of course she wants nothing to do with me, and I have to respect her wishes and have no contact with her. The thing is I have this horrible rejecting feeling added to this horrible feeling about what I have done, I cant sleep and I walk around with this horrible empty feeling in my chest. I don't where to go from here, I seem to disconnected from ever thing, I feel like so horrible for how things went down and I can't seem to get over it, but I know I have too. P.s sorry for horrible grammer.
hinatticus Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Dude, why are you tormenting a girl that lost her mother. Have some respect and leave her alone. You weren't even a couple. Yet you mess with her cuz she doesn't want to go out with you? Very weird man. This sounds like what a little boy does to show affection. It doesn't work. Stop it. Just leave her alone. Work on yourself. You need to learn how to handle rejection. Unless you've been with someone for a long time, you never show them your "ugly" side. And even then I've learned that's not a good thing. Show your ugly side to your buds, not a girl you like. And again, she freakin lost her mother! She doesn't need you pestering her.
Author heartless2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 (edited) I have had nc with her a week before i wrote that post, so it was not an on going thing. I agree with what you have to say, it was not just a one time thing we already when out once or twice. Still it was nothing serious, and i ashamed of how i acted. I have accepted the rejecting, well kind of, its the fact that I wrong someone so bad and can`t fix or even say sorry about it. I need to move on, thank you for the truth. Edited May 13, 2012 by heartless2012
hinatticus Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Shame is a good thing. It leads to change, in yourself. Start there and hopefully your next relationship(be it with her or someone else) will turn out brighter. I've got tons to work on as well as everyone else. As long as you know your faults and fix them, you will become a better person. It's a life long thing. Good luck.
Savage4 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 You are having such a hard time getting over what you did. I would go apologize to this girl for acting like such a douche. I think this will help you resolve your internal conflict and move on. My ex lost her mother while we were dating and I saw just how devastating it can be. This poor girl is already dealing with so much and you are adding to it by picking fights with her, messing with her, and intentionally trying to annoy her!? She just can't handle it let alone a relationship with you right now and you respond by acting like a child that doesn't get what they want. I'm glad you at least realized the way you acted was completely immature and feel some remorse. I don't mean to bash you but you are right to be completely ashamed of your behavior. I think it would be a nice gesture for you to apologize to this girl for the way you acted and explain to her why you acted that way, and that you learned your lesson. Think about her instead of yourself for once and show some sympathy for her mother passing away. If you are really interested in this girl hang around in the background for the time being and be there for moral support, but right now I'm sure she is not in any state of mind to start a relationship with you, let alone any guy. Please stop being a douche and work on your behavior... Start treating people genuinely nice and you will start feeling better about yourself. You will be amazed how differently people will respond to you and I guarantee you will be happier then ever.
Author heartless2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 Yeah I think she wants nothing to do with me, which i can understand. I was thinking maybe have someone say it to her but how would i explain what to say? I Been doing my best to avoid her, i think nc is the best thing i could do right now. I would love nothing more then to be able to express how bad i feel about it, I Hope one day she will let me. For now im just trying to forgive myself
Savage4 Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 I'm sure right now she wants nothing to do with you because you have been such a hindrance to her. No contact certainly isn't hurting anything but I also think apologizing to her wouldn't hurt either and would help you forgive yourself. Don't have anyone apologize for you. You need to do it yourself and only if you are truly sincere about it. When asking yourself what to say or how to apologize to her: put yourself in her shoes. What would you want to hear if you were her and how would you react? You will forgive yourself in time but please learn from your mistakes and don't repeat them. You are already off to a good start by realizing you did her wrong. I have faith in you!
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