Jebug79 Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 [font=arial][/font][color=darkred][/color] Ok Everyone i need some help. Ive been with this guy for two years it was our anniversary on the 7th of June. We've had our share of fights believe me. Ive been living with him for a year and a half and ive moved out at least 5 times. But something always brings me back to him. Im 24 and he is my first boyfriend. I fell in love with him from the first time i met him. He had always told me i wasn't his usual type of girl but i never took it to mean something. Anyway We got in a fight the other day over something stupid as usual and he told me he didn;t want to be with me anymore and that he never liked me. Which im not sure i believe that. I need some help because i always said i love you but hes not the type to. Im not sure whats going on in his head. I need some advice i want him to stay with me because i love him and i want to be with him for the rest of my life....how do i get him to realize that i can be what he wants? Pls help???? thanks everyone!!
ntovrhm Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 You can't control someone else's feelings. I think he had to have cared about you, but is trying to be hurtful to push you away. The more you try to force things, the more he will run. Take some time to get your feelings in check (and I'm not trying to be harsh, but you sound like you are going through agony right now). Anything you do or say to him in type of state will only make matters worse.
neptoon Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 Was he on the re-bound from another relationship when you and him hooked up? Something to remember: a person loves many times in their life before knowing what they want. Since he is the first real bf, you ought to go out and try the waters. I know you think you don't want to right now but do you want to be in this type of loveless relationship? There are about 6 billion people on the planet. There are approximately 3 billion men out there. Of those 3 billion, about 2/3 of those are straight, so that leaves us with 2 billion. Of those 2 billion, a percentage is in your age category and single. If we narrow this down to 1%, there are still approximately 20 million men who meet this criteria. That's a wide pool to choose from. When you see people alone, it's because they choose to be alone. Don't settle for anything less than what you want because you are afraid to be alone. Sometimes, it's not so bad being alone and playing the flirting game is fun. You're young and you have a lot of options.
Author Jebug79 Posted June 23, 2004 Author Posted June 23, 2004 Thanks....but he said it was all a game for the past two years which i doubt but im just scared i don't know what to do i want him to stay with me. I am in agony right now i honestly don't think i can see my life with out him hes grown on me....Im just really confused i just want a way to prove to him i can be that girl he wants but im not sure he'll allow me...any ideas anyone. to show him how much i can change....
dasani08810 Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 The best course of action I think is: If you don't KNOW what to do; do nothing.
Author Jebug79 Posted June 23, 2004 Author Posted June 23, 2004 he wasn't on the rebound when i met him..
Author Jebug79 Posted June 23, 2004 Author Posted June 23, 2004 I don't want to do nothing, i don't want to sit down and watch him walk out of my life but ive never been in this situation before im just asking for suggestions on how to get him back even when hes telling me he doesn't like me which is a lie because your not with a person for two years and feel nothing..
dreamguy Posted June 23, 2004 Posted June 23, 2004 "....Im just really confused i just want a way to prove to him i can be that girl he wants but im not sure he'll allow me...any ideas anyone" Do you wanna know if he likes you ? Do you want the truth and nothing but the truth about it ? You gotta be ready to accept the result though. Tell him you need some time on your own. Time that would be completely away from him (no calls, no instant messenger, no text messages, no email). Tell him all that and go do it no matter what he replies. This would serve its purpose in two ways. 1) I don't think he never did love you otherwise he wouldn't have stayed with you for two years. But he feels stranded now and it seems he wants to see what he's been missing out there. Listen and please believe all the people on this forum when we tell you this: if you cling to him or try to salvage the relationship in any other way (after telling him ONCE AND ONLY ONCE HOW YOU FEEL) then you will most likely drive him away and in time you'll possibly lose him. If you think that what I'm saying is bull***** then go ahead and give it a try. Hang on to him and pursue him. I'll be here in a few weeks and you can tell me what happens. 2) Add to all that the fact that he's your first boyfriend. Do you want to be with the first person you meet (hey it can happen I'm not saying it can't) but it's very rare. People fall in and out of love many times before settling down. Just try to relax as much as possible before thinking about what I'm saying. If you think while under pressure and/or the influence of your emotions then you'll most likely make the wrong decision. You might not see it right now but one day, down the road, you'll wake up and regret not having been out there to check your options but it would be too late and you would be much much older making it harder for you to start a fresh relationship. Neptoon is right: "When you see people alone, it's because they choose to be alone. Don't settle for anything less than what you want because you are afraid to be alone. Sometimes, it's not so bad being alone and playing the flirting game is fun. You're young and you have a lot of options."
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