MissBrunette84 Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 I thought I was doing really well, but I'm feeling more upset than ever today, I feel like I'm feeling more awful by the day, not better. Is this normal to get more and more upset? Its just horrible, I just want to feel ok
TaraMaiden Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Yes, it's normal. what ou are going through is precisely what a drug addict goes through as they experience Cold Turkey.... this is just like stopping substance abuse. Your relationship wasn't healthy. you were being used, and it was an on-off type affair, with nothing constructive to show for it. What was happening to you was keeping you hooked, and strung along - but it wasn't doing you any good. so this is why you're feeling the way you do. Because the whole thing was toxic, and you were dependent on your 'fix' of him, much as it did more harm than good. Keep going - you'll emerge feeling so much better for it!
Author MissBrunette84 Posted May 11, 2012 Author Posted May 11, 2012 I'm trying my best, I hope he leaves me alone this time because I can't keep going through this anymore over and over again. But I have remained no contact so it's a plus I guess.
Tree_Salmon Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Trust me when I tell you I'm there right now. Keeping no contact is key. It hurts like crazy but you have to deal with it. You'll be stronger at the end.
zerovandez Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Agreed with everyone. Keep NC. You have to want to get better if you want improvement. Sitting around isn't going to help either. Force yourself to get out and smile.
Author MissBrunette84 Posted May 11, 2012 Author Posted May 11, 2012 Thank you, I work so I don't sit at home all day and I'm a musician so I try concentrate on my band too. I'm just finding it so difficult, I didn't think a person could cry so many tears, struggling so badly this week. I know I won't feel like this forever but there seems to be no end in sight right now, it's awful.
Tree_Salmon Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 It's the pain of loss combined with fear of the unknown. The worst combination ever. The truth is you'll probably love again. Even though I feel the same way and still cant fully accept that I will never see this person again in that way. Whatever doesn't kill you...I hope.
Author MissBrunette84 Posted May 11, 2012 Author Posted May 11, 2012 It's really hard to accept you'll never really see them again. I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. I feel like a weak person because in so, so upset and everyone around me is saying he's such a idiot and you deserved so much better, don't cry for someone who's not crying over you etc... So I feel like I should be angry at him or something and I'm just not, I'm a forgiving person. I even wrote an email after we split to tell him not to feel guilty and I wished him happiness and to move on. It is the worst combination in the world to feel loss and feel so lost within yourself. I'm trying even though everyday seems like I'm climbing a mountin. I feel drained from crying.
jennisfora Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 when you get through the grief part, you will get angry, give it time. *hugs*
Tree_Salmon Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 It's different for everyone it seems. I went through anger first then guilt then grief. The worst thing you can do is lose control of yourself. Just stick to a belief that gives you strength like "you will love again" and keep remembering that no matter how hard it may be. Who knows where this person will be in 10 years, or yourself for that matter.
vroom Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 (edited) I am in the same boat Haven't slept properly in weeks.. People say working out is good after a break-up.. But I used to work out before.. Now I am gaining inches everyday and smoking a pack a day from 5 a day.. Oh and I drink everyday.. Trust me some when I say "This too shall pass".. Some people just don't gauge the direction they go at times,, and by the time they realize it's too late.. Move on friend.. Life is a gift not to be wasted.. Edited May 11, 2012 by vroom
Author MissBrunette84 Posted May 11, 2012 Author Posted May 11, 2012 It's different for everyone it seems. I went through anger first then guilt then grief. The worst thing you can do is lose control of yourself. Just stick to a belief that gives you strength like "you will love again" and keep remembering that no matter how hard it may be. Who knows where this person will be in 10 years, or yourself for that matter. Thank you, this helps and very true who knows where I will be in 10 years and like you say where he will be. I feel a bit better now, I'm trying to be productive anyhow. And they saying above 'this too shall pass' I do hope so, this day is coming to and end so another down at least
Tree_Salmon Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 I mean most of us are here because we cant understand the situations we are in or have insane amounts of pain. I know I do. But i know that it's all going to make me a better person. Maybe ill be a bit cynical in the future but I can't just hate the world all the time because of it. Maybe once I get over this we will meet again and who knows where we go from there.
Author MissBrunette84 Posted May 11, 2012 Author Posted May 11, 2012 Exactly, I agree. I came here so let things out and get a little help from people on the outside. I am in a horrendous amount of pain and as hard as the days are being here helps. Reading other peoples situations helps too. Stops me from breaking the no contact and making a bit more sense to my life. I think yeah in the future you could meet again and who knows. Could be a interesting experience if enough time goes by and maybe be a positive one. I hope I can just get through these days like I'm doing one by one just until the point can come where I'm happy and over it. Seems I've got a hard road to travel and a long way to go first
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