Author Ruby Slippers Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 No. I'm looking for a commitment from a woman who doesn't think her pussy belongs on a pedestal. That her love isn't something that should be bought & most importantly, a woman who doesn't think my money is our money & her money is her money. I don't think my pussy belongs on a pedestal. I generally have sex quickly, because I love sex and want to make sure we're a match there. Love can't be bought. But I'm not going to choose to love a man who isn't at least on my level financially. There's no way we could support a family if that weren't the case. I'd need our combined savings and income to reasonably support a family. That portion of the money I see as money to support the family. Beyond that, I don't care.
phineas Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 I don't think my pussy belongs on a pedestal. I generally have sex quickly, because I love sex and want to make sure we're a match there. Love can't be bought. But I'm not going to choose to love a man who isn't at least on my level financially. There's no way we could support a family if that weren't the case. I'd need our combined savings and income to reasonably support a family. That portion of the money I see as money to support the family. Beyond that, I don't care. How does paying for dinner = on your level financially? Does not compute. I CHOOSE to not buy women I hardly know sit-down dinners. I can afford to. I just don't care to. But let's go back to the hook up & snickers bar thing. see you may of been making a joke, but I know more woman than not who think that way. So I see no point in "paying" for something someone else gets for free just because the woman thinks he's hotter.
phineas Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Being cheap is listed among the top 10 worst things a man can do on a date. I'm so cheap I make them buy the rubbers on their way over.
Oxy Moronovich Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Being cheap is listed among the top 10 worst things a man can do on a date. Saying you can pay for your own dinner but expecting men to pay for you is among the top 10 worst things a woman can do on a date. Yet women do it...
RedRobin Posted May 13, 2012 Posted May 13, 2012 Being cheap is listed among the top 10 worst things a man can do on a date. Isn't there some other way a man can show legitimate interest and care that doesn't involve alot of money right off the bat? I realize you are well-off, so this isn't one of your concerns. In keeping with the OP's thoughts and goals... I've observed she is kind of a sucker for a guy with a big wallet. I wonder if her people picker is a bit off. She has said in the past that she picks rich men who want to make her their live-in f-buddy (ok, I'm paraphrasing), but she wasn't happy with that. So, something is missing here. I have to believe there are other ways she can find someone who can provide for her both emotionally and reasonably well financially too, if raising children is her goal.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 In keeping with the OP's thoughts and goals... I've observed she is kind of a sucker for a guy with a big wallet. Can you point to things I've said to suggest this? As I said, I've been dating men with next to no money, men with lots of money, and men in between. I'm looking for a husband and the father of my children, not just some hot manmeat - so having similar values, goals, and levels of ambition is important. She has said in the past that she picks rich men who want to make her their live-in f-buddy (ok, I'm paraphrasing), but she wasn't happy with that. I think you're confusing me with someone else. Guys I date usually start feeling me out for marriage and kids, and invite me to meet their families, in short order. Yes, some of them highlight their ability to protect and provide as strengths - which they are.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 How does paying for dinner = on your level financially? Does not compute. I CHOOSE to not buy women I hardly know sit-down dinners. I can afford to. I just don't care to. I don't know why people are assuming it's a dinner date. I'm talking dinner date, coffee date, a walk along the lake with a $1 iced tea - anything. You said you pay for drinks at a free music show. Why do you do that? If you're so cheap that you make them buy the condoms, why buy them anything at all? But let's go back to the hook up & snickers bar thing. see you may of been making a joke, but I know more woman than not who think that way. Right, so if all a man wants are hookups, I agree that he doesn't need to spend any money - provided he's sexy or charismatic or attractive enough in whatever way to attract women for just sex. Clearly, you are, which is great for you. If you're happy with that, I'm happy for you. Personally, I want more than Snickers and sex. So I see no point in "paying" for something someone else gets for free just because the woman thinks he's hotter. I give the man I love way more than just sex. In the big picture, I'll be giving the right man children, someone to carry on his name/genes, excellent care so they grow up healthy and strong, a happy home, and my full support so he can achieve his greatness. Why would I do this with a guy who won't even buy condoms, when I could do this with a guy who's worked hard and smart so he and his family can have true financial freedom? From my understanding of your circumstances, I understand why you prefer the terms that you do. If you are honest and women go for it, no problem. I'm honest, too. There's nothing I've said here that I wouldn't say to any man that I date.
RedRobin Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 Can you point to things I've said to suggest this? As I said, I've been dating men with next to no money, men with lots of money, and men in between. I'm looking for a husband and the father of my children, not just some hot manmeat - so having similar values, goals, and levels of ambition is important. I think you're confusing me with someone else. Guys I date usually start feeling me out for marriage and kids, and invite me to meet their families, in short order. Yes, some of them highlight their ability to protect and provide as strengths - which they are. This is my impression just based on the short time I've been here. You say you are dating men with no money, lots of money, and men in between... but the ones you get excited about and post here about are ones with money. Am I wrong? When you talk about them, almost inevitably you are gushing about how much the guy makes. Yes, you do talk about his other qualities... but usually it revolves around money and his earning potential. I seem to recall others (people you respect) have coached you to consider slowing down with these guys and get to know them... to be consistent in your dating style. I suppose I could go back and check your past posts, but my intent isn't to attack you. You said that you had offers of rich men wanting you to shack up with them. Am I off-base? You say it is important that the man be able to provide for you financially. I'm not judging you at all. If you want to raise a family, that is perfectly legitimate. I'm asking you to think about changing your approach a little... based on what I've observed about well-off people. My ex-H was from old money. In my community work and with some of my mentors... they are all well-off. It is considered poor form to talk about financial things early on. I don't recall seeing posts about the guys who are introducing you to their families. I only vaguely recall a guy you mentioned who ended up being a stalker(?)... Same guy? If this isn't you, then I apologize. I haven't been here all that long.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 You say you are dating men with no money, lots of money, and men in between... but the ones you get excited about and post here about are ones with money. Am I wrong? I recently raved in the astrology thread about the poor bouncer I was dating. I've probably written more about him than anyone in recent months. But I'm getting some feedback from friends, who seem to be encouraging me to go for the hard-working "winners". I know it's my life, but they make a fair point. When you talk about them, almost inevitably you are gushing about how much the guy makes. Yes, you do talk about his other qualities... but usually it revolves around money and his earning potential. Evidence? I run a business, and my goal is to become financially independent - to make enough money that I can basically do what I want with my life. I spent my 20s being a struggling artist - and that didn't get me very far when it came time to get a $2,000 root canal. I'll reach my goal of financial independence - ethically - or die trying. I want a man who has the same goal. You said that you had offers of rich men wanting you to shack up with them. Am I off-base? I've had a fair number of offers from guys to "take care of me", yes. But leading with money always turned me off. I want a real connection. No amount of money would make it worth it to live with someone out of convenience. I'm asking you to think about changing your approach a little... based on what I've observed about well-off people. My ex-H was from old money. In my community work and with some of my mentors... they are all well-off. It is considered poor form to talk about financial things early on. They always bring it up. And you have to keep in mind that I share the goal of making money. I'm kicking up my small business to the next level, and that means boosting profit and being much more savvy about life and business. I can learn a lot from these guys, and they love to teach what they know. Nothing wrong with that. They see me working hard and doing better all the time. If I just wanted a free ride, I would have gotten on that train a long time ago. I don't recall seeing posts about the guys who are introducing you to their families. I only vaguely recall a guy you mentioned who ended up being a stalker(?)... Same guy? Yeah, before he went stalker, that guy invited me to Thanksgiving dinner. And the guy before him did, too. If anything, I've tried to have casual situations with men over the past couple of years, while I got my **** together - and they always want more.
phineas Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 I don't know why people are assuming it's a dinner date. I'm talking dinner date, coffee date, a walk along the lake with a $1 iced tea - anything. You said you pay for drinks at a free music show. Why do you do that? If you're so cheap that you make them buy the condoms, why buy them anything at all? Because i'm not cheap. Why do you keep saying I am? There is a difference between cheap & wasting your money on a woman that has 3 other guys lined up for the following week. Right, so if all a man wants are hookups, I agree that he doesn't need to spend any money - provided he's sexy or charismatic or attractive enough in whatever way to attract women for just sex. Clearly, you are, which is great for you. If you're happy with that, I'm happy for you. Personally, I want more than Snickers and sex. But, I said i'm not looking for just hook-ups. I won't turn them down, but I want something long term & money should not be a deciding factor. I give the man I love way more than just sex. In the big picture, I'll be giving the right man children, someone to carry on his name/genes, excellent care so they grow up healthy and strong, a happy home, and my full support so he can achieve his greatness. Why would I do this with a guy who won't even buy condoms, when I could do this with a guy who's worked hard and smart so he and his family can have true financial freedom? Yeah we get it, you want a man to take care of you. No need to romanticize it. Just tell me to go watch "house wives of whatever". That's your thing. You asked for opinions on men & paying for women & I gave it. i'm not attacking you personally but you seem to think I am. I don't date women looking for kids & a husband. I'm done having kids & most likely never getting married again & co-habitation doesn't look good in the short term either. But I still run into the 38 yr old princess still holding out for daddy-war-bucks but not missing a good time with some guy they think is hot. what I search for to date are women my own age with a mortgage, car payment, kids ect. that are happy to find a guy that isn't fat & ecstatic if he isn't a player, owns a car & doesn't live with his parents & can pay his bills. Srs here. From my understanding of your circumstances, I understand why you prefer the terms that you do. If you are honest and women go for it, no problem. I'm honest, too. There's nothing I've said here that I wouldn't say to any man that I date. I'm not sure what my circumstances are. I've gotten girlfriends & even married doing things my way. I supported my ex-wife since she made very little & in fact even in divorce i'm paying for her really nice mini-van. wait. bad example. Let me try to summarize in one sentence. I don't buy dinner for a woman until i'm 100% sure i'm the only guy she's dining with.
Author Ruby Slippers Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 Because i'm not cheap. Why do you keep saying I am? I was referring to your comment: I'm so cheap I make them buy the rubbers on their way over. Yeah we get it, you want a man to take care of you. No need to romanticize it. Just tell me to go watch "house wives of whatever". As I said above, if that's all I wanted, it would have happened a while ago. I don't date women looking for kids & a husband. I'm done having kids & most likely never getting married again & co-habitation doesn't look good in the short term either. That's what I gathered. You and I want different things out of a relationship. But I wonder if you asked your ex-wife and the mother of your children to pay for the condoms on the way over. But I still run into the 38 yr old princess still holding out for daddy-war-bucks but not missing a good time with some guy they think is hot. I'm sure there are some cliches I could throw out about bitter divorced guys using women for sex, but what's the point? what I search for to date are women my own age with a mortgage, car payment, kids ect. that are happy to find a guy that isn't fat & ecstatic if he isn't a player, owns a car & doesn't live with his parents & can pay his bills. Srs here. Again, we're clearly at different stages in life. And that's fine. It's good you have so much to offer your target group. I don't buy dinner for a woman until i'm 100% sure i'm the only guy she's dining with. If a guy wants to date me exclusively, I'm open to it. In fact, I prefer it. Any of the guys I've dated could ask me to date them exclusively. I'd probably say yes. For example, we could date exclusively for X period of time, then make a decision about whether to continue. When a man is ringing all my bells, I don't need attention from any other men.
RedRobin Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 I recently raved in the astrology thread about the poor bouncer I was dating. I've probably written more about him than anyone in recent months. But I'm getting some feedback from friends, who seem to be encouraging me to go for the hard-working "winners". I know it's my life, but they make a fair point. Evidence? I run a business, and my goal is to become financially independent - to make enough money that I can basically do what I want with my life. I spent my 20s being a struggling artist - and that didn't get me very far when it came time to get a $2,000 root canal. I'll reach my goal of financial independence - ethically - or die trying. I want a man who has the same goal. I've had a fair number of offers from guys to "take care of me", yes. But leading with money always turned me off. I want a real connection. No amount of money would make it worth it to live with someone out of convenience. They always bring it up. And you have to keep in mind that I share the goal of making money. I'm kicking up my small business to the next level, and that means boosting profit and being much more savvy about life and business. I can learn a lot from these guys, and they love to teach what they know. Nothing wrong with that. They see me working hard and doing better all the time. If I just wanted a free ride, I would have gotten on that train a long time ago. Yeah, before he went stalker, that guy invited me to Thanksgiving dinner. And the guy before him did, too. If anything, I've tried to have casual situations with men over the past couple of years, while I got my **** together - and they always want more. I can see my intent to help has been misinterpreted. Please don't mistake me for some of the other posters.
xxoo Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 I'll admit that I haven't read all of your threads, Ruby, but you've always struck me as a sucker for chemistry and great sex Not that there's anything wrong with that, lol, but I'd be surprised if you came across as someone looking for a sugar-daddy IRL. A man who can sense your genuine interest will not feel used (true for both sexes, in fact). 2
phineas Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 I was referring to your comment: As I said above, if that's all I wanted, it would have happened a while ago. That's what I gathered. You and I want different things out of a relationship. But I wonder if you asked your ex-wife and the mother of your children to pay for the condoms on the way over. I'm sure there are some cliches I could throw out about bitter divorced guys using women for sex, but what's the point? Again, we're clearly at different stages in life. And that's fine. It's good you have so much to offer your target group. If a guy wants to date me exclusively, I'm open to it. In fact, I prefer it. Any of the guys I've dated could ask me to date them exclusively. I'd probably say yes. For example, we could date exclusively for X period of time, then make a decision about whether to continue. When a man is ringing all my bells, I don't need attention from any other men. Typical. 10 characters.
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