Date with an Asian guy

[DuchessKaye]

You're a serious insult to your people. I mean, it's one thing to like a white guy (fine), another to prefer a white guy (meh, OK I guess), but to insult your own dudes...

 

Your father should slap you upside the head little girl.

 

I'm not insulting them. I'm telling a factual statement.

This is not just from me, but from all the pips that I know.

But anyway, okay, I'm gonna shut my mouth up.

I'm done.

[123321]

Actor Hayami Mokomichi is half Japanese/half Filipino and he's over 6ft. No American genes there so it's possible for a Filipino even a mixed one to be tall.

 

Also some guys don't care about the height issue.

 

It's possible but there are some pretty large Japanese gene pools, a lot fewer Filipino.

[The Last Heero]

I'm not insulting them. I'm telling a factual statement.

This is not just from me, but from all the pips that I know.

But anyway, okay, I'm gonna shut my mouth up.

I'm done.

 

I'm a Filipino male raised in the states and to be fair there is a lot of bitter Filipino women out there. I remember hearing many complain about infidelity. Cheating on your woman in the Philippines is almost like a right of passage over there. My even father told me Filipino men are notorious for this. Yes, you don't get divorces over there, and women are expected to suck it up when they are cheated on and to accept it. It is no surprise when I hear the constant Filipino male bashing from these women when they come over here. Also, they are attracted to me when they find out I'm from the west and Filipino thinking I am vastly different.

[AkidAtHeart]

The problem is not Asian men. I should know. I'm one of them?

 

It's IGNORANT people and the fact people try to make it out like Asian guys are insecure. The media sucks. TV and internet is a joke.

 

If you want to know what REAL asian guys are like, I'd say... like there's some japanese MMA fighters, here in Cali.. surfers, skaters, etc.

 

Born and raised... Like me ;P You guys are just picking on those lone outside asians, like the little nerdy guy in some Indiana schoolroom or something... awwww, don't bully.

[kaylan]

Will you stop with the stereotypes?

 

First of all, the guy is half Filipino, and seeing as how many Filipinos are mixed with Spanish blood, the guy is probably at least 3/4 Caucasian and 1/4 Asian at most. So, none of the stereotypes fit.

 

Also all of the stereotypical studiousness that East Asians have don't carry over to Filipinos. Completely different culture and country.

 

And thirdly, even if he were full Japanese or some crap, it's still a horrible stereotype.

Actually, genetically mouth Filipinos are of Austronesian descent. European genetic influence is minimal at best and occurs in only a small, small percentage of the population. The cultural influence of Spain was large, but the genetic influence wasnt in the slightest.

 

Just cause a people conquer a land does not mean they will always greatly change the genetics of the natives. Take Jamaica for instance. It was under British control in the past but most of its people are black with not a single drop of european blood despite UK influence.

I hear Ruby is a very tall woman.

 

Average male height in the Phillipines 5'3-5'4.

 

Whatever you do-----------don't wear high heels.

 

OTOH, maybe the American side of the family are basketball players.

You can tell Pierre is one of those butt hurt dudes that hates it when women chose another race to date that isnt white. Just look at how he keeps trying to put down asian men and emasculate them. Grow a set and quit hatin dude. Grow up some.

I'm not insulting them. I'm telling a factual statement.

This is not just from me, but from all the pips that I know.

But anyway, okay, I'm gonna shut my mouth up.

I'm done.

Factual my butt. Maybe for some guys but not all guys. You paint all Asian men with a bad brush but then paint all white men with a good brush, and white women will tell you that white guys arent this holy grail you make them out to be.

 

If you werent so caught up in your self loathing status worship of white men, maybe youd see just how the things you do and say tear your people down. It makes people respect your men and your fellow females less because of it. The way you talk is why many white guys think Asian women are easy and they dont have to do much to bed one....have fun with some white guys chasing you for tail and not really respecting you.

 

You perpetuate this reality. And there may come a point in time where you truly see all of this for what it is, and it wont feel good. Id say black men and asian women share a similar lot when it comes to this sexual fetishism we deal with in America. But after a while you want someone to be attracted to you for simply the man/woman you are, regardless of your ethnicity. Who wants to be someone's novelty?

Edited May 12, 2012 by kaylan

[SJC2008]

Eh. I like him a lot, and I think he's sexy as hell - but I'm figuring out that he's basically another sexy underachiever. He's just not on my level. He's got potential, but you can't count on that. I think he'll be a friend and maybe an occasional date during slow times.

 

So like career stability or something else? Don't mean to change the topic of your thread or "pry" but the way you worded it has me wanting to know haha!

[123321]

Actually, genetically mouth Filipinos are of Austronesian descent. European genetic influence is minimal at best and occurs in only a small, small percentage of the population.

 

There is a lot of mainland Asian influence, particularly in the Tagalog population, and a little Spanish in a significant part of the overall population. The part of the population with a lot of Spanish influence tends to be higher income and is as you say, a minority.

 

In many ways, PH is more like Mexico than for instance, it is like Vietnam.

 

More recently there were huge influxes of Japanese and non-Asian foreigners due to military action and some other causes. It's still rare to see someone with Negroid features and this small contribution is largely due to US bases.

[WhiteChocolate]

Id say black men and asian women share a similar lot when it comes to this sexual fetishism we deal with in America. But after a while you want someone to be attracted to you for simply the man/woman you are, regardless of your ethnicity. Who wants to be someone's novelty?

You just became one of my favorite posters.

 

I worry about this sometimes when I first meet a new guy. I try not to let it influence me though, since maybe they aren't thinking it at all!

 

Also, to the previous poster who claimed that Asians were cooped up inside not allowed to party....

 

TOTALLY UNTRUE. Coming from a college-aged full-blooded Asian girl, I think I know

[kaylan]

You just became one of my favorite posters.

 

I worry about this sometimes when I first meet a new guy. I try not to let it influence me though, since maybe they aren't thinking it at all!

 

Also, to the previous poster who claimed that Asians were cooped up inside not allowed to party....

 

TOTALLY UNTRUE. Coming from a college-aged full-blooded Asian girl, I think I know

Yeah I try not to let it bother me to much either. I mean, I know certain races may be more attractive to certain people and seem sexy and exotic...but I wanna feel theres more to a girl being into me.

 

P.S. - College aged Asian girl huh? I always assumed you were a black chick with an eye for white guys, or a white chick who likes black culture and black dudes. The username threw me off.

 

And whats funny is I used to always want to have a blasian baby when I was younger, since I thought they were the cutest things haha

There is a lot of mainland Asian influence, particularly in the Tagalog population, and a little Spanish in a significant part of the overall population. The part of the population with a lot of Spanish influence tends to be higher income and is as you say, a minority.

 

In many ways, PH is more like Mexico than for instance, it is like Vietnam.

 

More recently there were huge influxes of Japanese and non-Asian foreigners due to military action and some other causes. It's still rare to see someone with Negroid features and this small contribution is largely due to US bases.

Youre right about the mainland Asian influence. When I studied East Asian history back in college I was surprised at how far reaching Chinese influence was on many of the "oriental" population of that part of the world.

 

And I was never surprised that the leftover European descended peoples in the Phillipines were more rich than others. Its not different from the rest of the world where Europeans conquered. In Mexico, white people are the minority but hold the majority of the wealth...and despite most Mexicans Ive encountered being brown, all of the Mexicans I see in their media tend to be white. Especially in the telenovelas of Latin America. But it makes sense when you think of how power and wealth were passed down from the colonizers to their descendants while overlooking the natives and mixed folks.

 

And omg...when you mentioned the black phillipino thing, you reminded me of my Filipina friend. She told me how she met this guy, who looked straight up black one day....and as they go to talking, all of a sudden he bust out super fluent Tagalog. No accent at all. Apparently he was half black (dad was a serviceman for the USA), 1/4 white, and 1/4 Filipino (his mom was English and Filipino I think she said). Apparently he was choclate brown skinned, but had mostly black features so youd assume he was African American. Apparently being only 1/4 asian wasnt strong enough to break through his black genes a bit more. And usually black and asian genes are the strongest when mixed with other races. Usually they outright overpower other genes.

Edited May 12, 2012 by kaylan

[123321]

In Mexico, white people are the minority but hold the majority of the wealth...and despite most Mexicans Ive encountered being brown, all of the Mexicans I see in their media tend to be white. Especially in the telenovelas of Latin America.

 

It's the same here, most all male actors and models look strongly white with a little Pinoy mixed in, and the female actors or models will be either the same, or look Chinese/Korean.

 

You go out of the city and into the mountains, and the farmers look Pacific Islander, same with the fishermen, and so on, just like the rural population of Mexico looks strikingly different from the urban population.

 

It's sort of funny that not many of those people are attractive (to me) but when they are mixed just a little with some foreign genes the kids are simply beautiful. A neighbor here has a future heartbreaker of a daughter, his wife is 1/2 white, 1/2 Filipina and he is a Korean. She's probably just going into high school now but you can tell, she's gonna be absolutely gorgeous.

[kaylan]

^Dude I always thought mixing Asians with almost anything made absolutely beautiful looking kids. And then they grow up into damn good looking adults.

 

My fave is East Asian and Brazilian. Which is essentially a bit of everything. Asian, black, white, and native blood.

[TaurusTerp]

I don't understand why people get so bent out of shape and defensive over stereotypes stated by people who aren't stating them with malicious intent.

 

If a person hasn't had any experience with a culture or race, usually all they have to go on are the stereotypes.

 

If you want enlighten them as a person of that culture, you can objectively state your experience contrasting the stereotype. Done and done.

 

No need to infer the person's stupid or ignorant. If they didn't know, they didn't know.....

 

So it's totally fine to use stereotypes so long as you have no personal experience with people of that race? What?

 

You wouldn't get bent out of shape if someone here was like I don't know if I should date blacks or latinos because i hear theyre all lazy, stupid horndogs?

 

You SHOULD be irritated by ignorance. There are few things more harmful in this world.

[Ruby Slippers]

The date was very good. The subject of ethnicity never came up. We had more important things to talk about. Conversation was excellent, chemistry was good. He's already hinting about future dates. So we shall see!

[angie2443]

The date was very good. The subject of ethnicity never came up. We had more important things to talk about. Conversation was excellent, chemistry was good. He's already hinting about future dates. So we shall see!

 

Good for you for bieng able to see beyond this silly superficial stuff! I hope everything works the way you want:)

[january2011]

The date was very good. The subject of ethnicity never came up. We had more important things to talk about. Conversation was excellent, chemistry was good. He's already hinting about future dates. So we shall see!

 

Sounds promising!

 

I think that for some people their ethnic identity isn't as much of an issue as other people think it is. Other people look at them and see an Asian person. They look in the mirror and see an American person.

 

Good luck with future dates, Ruby.

[Ruby Slippers]

So like career stability or something else? Don't mean to change the topic of your thread or "pry" but the way you worded it has me wanting to know haha!

And to answer this, yeah - that guy is underemployed, and doesn't seem to have much drive to accomplish more. I can kind of see why, I guess. He's sexy enough that women are crazy about him even if he's lazy and underachieving, so where's the incentive to excel? He likes me because just that is not enough, and I challenge him to rise to his greatness. But the problem is that most people do not rise to their greatness. I have finally figured this out, and am now focusing on rising to my own. And I need a guy who's in that ballpark, too.

[favoritepills]

Lots of really interesting discussion here.

 

I remember hearing many complain about infidelity. Cheating on your woman in the Philippines is almost like a right of passage over there. Even my father told me Filipino men are notorious for this. Yes, you don't get divorces over there, and women are expected to suck it up when they are cheated on and to accept it. It is no surprise when I hear the constant Filipino male bashing from these women when they come over here.

This is very true. I'm Filipina and lived in the Philippines until age 20, and at my first job I worked with a lot of 30 and 40-somethings. It was HEARTBREAKING to find out how commonplace cheating was among men. They didn't even bother to hide it; in fact, they liked to brag about it to their friends. It was like a status symbol to have both a wife and a woman on the side. And older married men hit on me all the time (I was 18). I kind of hated men for a while after working there.

 

It embarrasses me when fellow Filipinas bash their countrymen and put white men on a pedestal for really shallow reasons, but people need to keep in mind that Filipino culture is patriarchal (the country is 80% Catholic) and not very female-positive (you won't believe the slut-shaming that goes on -- in college, I knew a ton of guys who would take girls' virginities and then break up with them because they weren't "pure" anymore), so I can't blame women for wanting to escape that in favor of a culture that respects them more. I've known plenty of good guys in the Philippines, but there are just so many things I disagree with about that culture that I honestly can't see myself dating a traditional Filipino who believes in all of those values that I detest.

 

Anyway, here's a couple of dating dealbreakers for me, as an Asian woman:

 

1) "Where are you from? ...No,

?" This question sets my teeth on edge, especially when asked a second time after I've already curtly answered, "Northern Virginia." People already assume I'm not first-generation because I have no accent, but still feel this weird annoying need to know my ethnic background. I don't go around asking black or white people "Where are you REALLY from?", and I'm sure I'd look weird if I did. This is a great article on why that question bothers me.

 

2) Don't fetishize my race. "I've always loved Asian women." "Asian girls are so hot!" "My last girlfriend was a Filipina." What, like all Filipinas are going to have the same taste in men? Ugh.

 

Those two things make up the one piece of advice I have for someone dating an Asian (or a person of any other race, for that matter): we're people, just like you. Being Asian is simply one aspect out of many that make up who we are.

[Feelsgoodman]

1) "Where are you from? ...No,

?" This question sets my teeth on edge, especially when asked a second time after I've already curtly answered, "Northern Virginia." People already assume I'm not first-generation because I have no accent, but still feel this weird annoying need to know my ethnic background. I don't go around asking black or white people "Where are you REALLY from?", and I'm sure I'd look weird if I did. This is a great article on why that question bothers me.

 

2) Don't fetishize my race. "I've always loved Asian women." "Asian girls are so hot!" "My last girlfriend was a Filipina." What, like all Filipinas are going to have the same taste in men? Ugh.

 

Those two things make up the one piece of advice I have for someone dating an Asian (or a person of any other race, for that matter): we're people, just like you. Being Asian is simply one aspect out of many that make up who we are.

It sounds like you are very insecure (and maybe even self-hating) about your race/ethnicity. No white person would ever get mad at you asking them about their ethnic background. In fact, most white people would see it as good sign that you're taking interest in their family history, which is part of the normal process of getting to know each other. It's always minorities who are annoyed by such questions. Must be their inferiority complex.

[Pierre]

You can tell Pierre is one of those butt hurt dudes that hates it when women chose another race to date that isnt white. Just look at how he keeps trying to put down asian men and emasculate them. Grow a set and quit hatin dude. Grow up some.

 

 

Your point would be awesome if I was serious.

 

However, it is quite obvious I simply want to give Ruby a hard time.

 

The question is:

 

Was she able to get a measurement on her date?:D

[favoritepills]

It sounds like you are very insecure (and maybe even self-hating) about your race/ethnicity. No white person would ever get mad at you asking them about their ethnic background. In fact, most white people would see it as good sign that you're taking interest in their family history, which is part of the normal process of getting to know each other. It's always minorities who are annoyed by such questions. Must be their inferiority complex.

I'm proud to be Asian, thank you very much. I just dislike when my ethnic background becomes a guessing game for people. I also dislike when people who have not been subject to the same racism that I have put the blame on minorities for being offended, instead of reflecting on whether or not what they said was actually offensive.

 

But good job displaying your white privilege!

[ptp]

I'm proud to be Asian, thank you very much. I just dislike when my ethnic background becomes a guessing game for people. I also dislike when people who have not been subject to the same racism that I have put the blame on minorities for being offended, instead of reflecting on whether or not what they said was actually offensive.

 

But good job displaying your white privilege!

 

But what if I just want to know what your ethnicity is? I could be curious about your culture and background. Aren't those fair questions? One of my friends in college was of Chinese dissent (1st gen), when I first met him I didn't know if he was Chinese, South Korean or Japanese. So I asked him. I wasn't trying to make a distinction between him and me, I was just curious about his culture.

 

It works that way with people of European descent too. A friend from highschool had the last name of Avignoni. Avignon is a city in France, while Avignoni sounds like an Italian name. Was it offensive of me to ask what his ethnicity was?

 

You could be assuming a lot of intent behind a question which could be fairly innocuous

Edited May 14, 2012 by ptp

[Feelsgoodman]

I'm proud to be Asian, thank you very much. I just dislike when my ethnic background becomes a guessing game for people. I also dislike when people who have not been subject to the same racism that I have put the blame on minorities for being offended, instead of reflecting on whether or not what they said was actually offensive.

 

But good job displaying your white privilege!

And what sort of "racism" did you get subjected to? Do tell.

[matte123]

But what if I just want to know what your ethnicity is? I could be curious about your culture and background. Aren't those fair questions? One of my friends in college was of Chinese dissent (1st gen), when I first met him I didn't know if he was Chinese, South Korean or Japanese. So I asked him. I wasn't trying to make a distinction between him and me, I was just curious about his culture.

 

It works that way with people of European descent too. A friend from highschool had the last name of Avignoni. Avignon is a city in France, while Avignoni sounds like an Italian name. Was it offensive of me to ask what his ethnicity was?

 

You could be assuming a lot of intent behind a question which could be fairly innocuous

 

There's a difference between just asking "what ethnicity are you?" and generalizing about certain ethnicities (ie. "where are you really from?" questions which assume that certain ethnicities are always immigrants) or grouping different ethnicities to one ethnicity. The latter two are offensive and racist.

[Feelsgoodman]

You could be assuming a lot of intent behind a question which could be fairly innocuous

That was basically my point. People were likely asking her questions about her ethnicity out of sheer curiosity but, because of her racial self-loathing tendencies, she was reading too much into it and assuming that she was being typecast.

[AkidAtHeart]

So, I have a date with an Asian guy (half Filipino) this weekend. He's a fellow small business owner and seems very smart and cool.

 

I'm just starting this thread to see if there's anything in particular I should know about dating an Asian guy - since I never have before.

 

I've hung out with him briefly once (where we met), and he already strikes me as a lot more old-school gentlemanly than your average city guy. I've heard before that Asian men tend to be this way - which I happen to really like.

 

Of course, I'll treat him like any other date - I'm just curious, and excited.

 

 

WEll the only advice I can give you is....... Better start rooting for Manny Pacquiao!!! And when around his family, say it really loud.

 

Just burst in the room and go PACQUIAO!!! I think they'll instantly like anyone who does that.....