Ruby Slippers Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 So, I have a date with an Asian guy (half Filipino) this weekend. He's a fellow small business owner and seems very smart and cool. I'm just starting this thread to see if there's anything in particular I should know about dating an Asian guy - since I never have before. I've hung out with him briefly once (where we met), and he already strikes me as a lot more old-school gentlemanly than your average city guy. I've heard before that Asian men tend to be this way - which I happen to really like. Of course, I'll treat him like any other date - I'm just curious, and excited. 2
WhiteChocolate Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Not really anything different between Asian men and other men...they're all men. Degree of traditionalism depends on how "Americanized" he is. If he's from abroad, then it also depends on where he comes from: city or rural area? My dad is very traditional; he believes in gender roles (man = breadwinner, woman = housekeeper) and such. But the guys I hang out with here in America are like any other American guy So there might be a generational divide too. Also, all Asian countries are not the same. So don't assume he likes sushi or seafood or curry or rice, or even eats Asian food often. And don't assume he speak or writes another language. He's only half; many people I know whose parents are immigrants can barely understand their parent's native language. And again, all Asian languages are very different! I wish you luck on your date. 2
matte123 Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 (edited) Asian men are like any other men. Don't go into the date with the stereotypes in your head like Pierre seems to be implying. Give the guy a chance to show you the type of person he is and then decide if he's the right type for you. Most of the Asian guys I encounter are very liberal. It may just be a generation thing like WhiteChocolate suggested. Edited May 15, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed quote of deleted post and response 2
SJC2008 Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Just out of curiosity, what happened to the guy you were dating who kept steady contact? Thought things were progressing with him.
DuchessKaye Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Asians are great especially Filipinos. There are CULTURE DRIVEN similarities in the MAJORITY of Asian guys. I'm an Asian, Filipina-Korean I've been friends with a sh'tload of Asian males. They pretty much all date the same. Of course, there are exceptions, but they have (we have) CULTURES which are similiar and motivate them to act a certain way during courtship. It's cultural kind of like dinner and a movie to a white guy. So yes, they are mostly always the same. Very commited, even if they dont feel compatibility, they will keep going, 3 year relationships are average for them. I've noticed that Asian men are lacking with confidence when they date Caucasian women, they are shy to talk, and they are not that good in bed, unlike white men lol. And yeah, most (not all) have small or average size of penis. Dang! ^^ Reason why I really wanna settle down with a White Guy. Again, there are exceptions to every rule. It's refreshing to meet someone who isn't entirely similar to you. So, goodluck Ruby! 2
WhiteChocolate Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 I disagree with DuchessKaye about what most Asian guys are like. I know some player Asians. I know some insecure Asians. I know some preppy Asians, and I know some nerdy ones. Asian guys don't place white chicks on a pedestal like you think they do. At least not most of them. And Asian guys can be very good in bed. 1
kaylan Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 I disagree with DuchessKaye about what most Asian guys are like. I know some player Asians. I know some insecure Asians. I know some preppy Asians, and I know some nerdy ones. Asian guys don't place white chicks on a pedestal like you think they do. At least not most of them. And Asian guys can be very good in bed. ^I think we know who in this thread puts anyone on a pedestal...and its not me, you, or Asian men.
matte123 Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 ^I think we know who in this thread puts anyone on a pedestal...and its not me, you, or Asian men. lol i hope i'm the "or" in this.... 1
ohmygoshistalk Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 (edited) dont think theres anything to know, theres nothing really different..have fun. not sure if asian guys put anyone in a pedestal (white chick, black, asian, etc), but one thing i notice is they are the ones who wont tell you their feelings, compared to others. the feelings run deep and you wouldnt even know it. also the penis map is faulty..you cant say the u.s. has a smaller penis than canada because u.s. is basically a melting pot. frankly ive seen ron jeremys thingy..it is quite big. Edited May 11, 2012 by ohmygoshistalk
Radu Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 So, I have a date with an Asian guy (half Filipino) this weekend. He's a fellow small business owner and seems very smart and cool. I'm just starting this thread to see if there's anything in particular I should know about dating an Asian guy - since I never have before. I've hung out with him briefly once (where we met), and he already strikes me as a lot more old-school gentlemanly than your average city guy. I've heard before that Asian men tend to be this way - which I happen to really like. Of course, I'll treat him like any other date - I'm just curious, and excited. Tell him that you always had a thing for the 'asian' landlord in 'Breakfast at Tiffany', will make for a fun date if he gets it.
UBFeelinMe Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 As a half filipino myself I can tell you that filipino culture is almost nothing like other cultures in asia. I would say that filipino guys have more in common with latino or black men in their tastes and style of dating. 3
ascendotum Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Asians are great especially Filipinos. .....they are shy to talk, and they are not that good in bed, unlike white men lol..... ^^ Reason why I really wanna settle down with a White Guy. I don't plan on dating asian men, but as a heads up to any asian dudes reading this, and I'm also kind of curious, what makes them duds in the sack? Also why can't you politely give your asian bfs pointers on how to satisfy you better? Are they too much on the sensual side and not enough of the 'push your head in the pillow pound you stupid while saying youre such a dirty slut' side?
kaylan Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 (edited) I don't plan on dating asian men, but as a heads up to any asian dudes reading this, and I'm also kind of curious, what makes them duds in the sack? Also why can't you politely give your asian bfs pointers on how to satisfy you better? Are they too much on the sensual side and not enough of the 'push your head in the pillow pound you stupid while saying youre such a dirty slut' side? Her post has no merit. Shes making sweeping generalizations based on her very limited experience thats fueled by her self-bashing love of white people. Carry on. Edited May 11, 2012 by kaylan 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Just a quick rundown from what I experienced and heard during my relationship with a Filipina that lasted several years when I was quite young. - Very cultural people in terms of cuisine and relationship roles, expectations from parents and family incorporated into their love lives, similar to other Asians however in terms of being a close-knit culture, however I don't consider them in that category, more of island people. They speak I believe Tegalo and other dialects and It's like "bing bong bang bong mong tong" pretty strange If you've never heard it. - From what I've seen, their "Americanized" culture is a mixture between black people and Hawaiians was the first thing that popped up into my head. Meaning they eat lots of food, very family oriented, have a wide variety of strange foods to consume yet I found similar to islandi food and asian cuisine..prefer pork, noodles, rice and a strange variety of desserts as well. Musical taste was sappy 80's type ballads in the culture, singing/karaoke seemed to be a big deal and then R&B and anything that sounds romantic and sappy - I've heard through the grapevine as well that the filipino guys were pretty bad in the sack...however! they did seem attentive and dedicated...I had not really met or seen a Filipino player and seemed to be relationship minded for the most part. All of them were what people would consider the more passive type/non-confrontational. Didn't quite strike me as confident, the men however stayed to their own for the most part and out of that confront safety culture zone, they were pretty timid. However the women seemed to prize the white man, particularly If he had money. Being from a poor country, white people in general from what I seen were praised as the golden ticket and I heard It often...It was quite weird to be honest. That was my experience in a nutshell...in general I've had some pretty good filipino acquaintances/friends and they were all pretty nice/cool guys, not very aggressive, laid-back, quieter/shyer...more to themselves but good guys nonetheless. However I never hung out with their families and I forget who they were dating or what not, wasn't something we got into. They made good friends. Would I date another Filipina however? probably not based on my experience I've dated mixed later on, but they were less Filipino and more of something else and I just dated them, didn't have a relationship. Of course I wouldn't just judge the girl before hand, a person is a person, however I didn't find a lot of commonality between the culture and myself, a lot of things just didn't rub me the right way and really felt out of place completely surrounded by a bunch of filipino people at Goldilocks or whatever family get together there was.. maybe I don't know enough about it, I was quite young...but If I'm just going off culture alone I'd have to say It's definitely not something I would go out of my way to date. Anyway this was just what I saw an experienced and giving my account, don't burn me at the stake for just calling it like I seen it! I honestly have no idea If it's stereotypical or not, I've not really heard a lot about Filipino people in general throughout my life to really compare it to. 2
123321 Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 (edited) You do realize that the size of a penis varies from person to person like the size of a vagina. Of course, and it's foolish to make individual predictions based on a statistical model anyway. One can however make probabilistic predictions based on such models. If you are meeting a guy, and he happens to be Asian, it would be incorrect to presume he's smart. He might be, and you could make a correct statement regarding the odds (if he is representative of the sampled group) of him being above or below a certain arbitrary threshold, but one cannot make an actual prediction of the value of a measured quantity for an individual based on the statistics of the group he comes from. In the Philippines, the girls do complain about the guys having tiny little dicks though. I'm here right now, shall I go ask a few more and see what they say? 5 of 5 have complained so far today. Edited May 11, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Keeping to the topic
123321 Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 As a half filipino myself I can tell you that filipino culture is almost nothing like other cultures in asia. I would say that filipino guys have more in common with latino or black men in their tastes and style of dating. This is very true, a little known fact that the PH was a Spanish Colony until the Spanish American war, when the USA got it and Cuba and so on for $20,000,000 or some such amount, in the peace treaty. I have been staying near the city of San Fernando, which is on the same Island as Mexico City, and so on, all in the Philippines.
darkmoon Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Filipinos eat noodles to celebrate, and are quite family minded, my best friend is Filpino
Emilia Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 'Asian' is very a broad category, I have experience of dating South Asian guys. I dated some Sri Lankans when I was living there and an Indian guy here in London (he was born in India and had been living in the UK for only about 3 years). I found sex a mixed bag. Leaving size aside (there is some merit to that map but more that there are some large guys and some really small ones, not many what we see as 'average' in the West) I think a lot will depend on how much dating experience that guy has had. What I noticed is that those guys who didn't mix much with girls in their teens and early 20s struggled more. I think there is a lot to be said for Western style socialisation and allowing kids to date and learn to value companionship from the opposite sex. From living in paternal societies in Africa and Asia what I have seen is that there are barriers between the two sexes that we don't have that much in the West anymore. I never dated African guys but the Asians I went out with would end up trying to control my life to a large degree and expect me to do what they wanted without question. If your guy is old fashioned, it could be that his views are in line with more traditional, paternal values. I'm sure he respects you as a business woman but once you become 'his', he will constantly interfere telling you what you should think or how you should act. That's my experience and it is what I have seen. A lot of men in the developing world are raised with the view that women don't know better. The Indian guy tried to accept that I was independent and I think he liked it too but he couldn't help being patronising a lot of the time. 2
Emilia Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 but as a heads up to any asian dudes reading this, and I'm also kind of curious, what makes them duds in the sack? Lack of dating and socialisation with girls. Many of them don't go through the learning process that teenage boys and young men do in our culture. It's not about technique, it's understanding what female sexuality is. Also why can't you politely give your asian bfs pointers on how to satisfy you better? Are they too much on the sensual side and not enough of the 'push your head in the pillow pound you stupid while saying youre such a dirty slut' side? It's not one woman's job to teach a man how to relate to the opposite sex if he missed out on that part of socialisation. One of them kept calling me 'white bitch' and lasted about 30 seconds so you tell me what I should have done to 'politely give my asian boyfriend pointers'. Ask him not to call me a bitch? Or being obsessed that I was white? Or learn that there is such a thing as clitoris? Tell him to read up on it? 1
DuchessKaye Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 (edited) I don't plan on dating asian men, but as a heads up to any asian dudes reading this, and I'm also kind of curious, what makes them duds in the sack? Also why can't you politely give your asian bfs pointers on how to satisfy you better? Are they too much on the sensual side and not enough of the 'push your head in the pillow pound you stupid while saying youre such a dirty slut' side? Quit being a hater, I was just telling my own opinion... If you didn't like it, then don't... It's not one woman's job to teach a man how to relate to the opposite sex if he missed out on that part of socialisation. One of them kept calling me 'white bitch' and lasted about 30 seconds so you tell me what I should have done to 'politely give my asian boyfriend pointers'. Ask him not to call me a bitch? Or being obsessed that I was white? Or learn that there is such a thing as clitoris? Tell him to read up on it? Yes true, why would I tell them this and that, they should learn it themselves. Nobody taught me how to satisfy a man but I know I am satisfying my man in bed. Darn! ........................................................................................................ Well, anyway... in Philippines, yeah! Most girls are complaining about how their Filipino ex boyfriends having small dicks. I have lots of Filipina girl friends and 10 out of 10 are now into finding White Men! Eeeew... Filipinos are not known to have that bigus dickus... but of course, like I said, they are great in some other ways... Edited May 11, 2012 by DuchessKaye
kaylan Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 (edited) Both partners should communicate to learn each others bodies. Good sex is up to the both of them. As sexual as a lot western women try to be, many are still lazy as hell in bed and expect a man to know everything about them without the girl opening her mouth and communicating...or without her knowing how to communicate with her body and get a rhythm going. Id even go as far to say that half of women in the US are below par in bed...and this is based on my and every mans experience Ive ever heard from. A lot of women seem to think that letting a guy screw them is all they need to do for them to be good in bed...as if good sex doesnt hinge on their performance and size too. So many chicks lay there or have no idea how to take control or move with you....its a shame that when the topic of bad sex comes up its mostly about a guys size or what he did wrong in bed. And Id expect Filipina women to complain about their men given how they pedestalize white guys. Meh. Its more about self-hate, money, and status more than sex to be frank. Asian women cannot complain about penis size when most of them have shallow and tight lady parts. They match up with their men and studies show this across the board for other races of women. Average female size matches up with the average male size of their race. Of course there are exceptions for these averages, and of course size wont really dictate how good sex is unless either partner is on the one edge of either extreme (too big or too small). I know I didnt enjoy sex with one Korean girl I was with because she was way too tight and shallow. I like tight, but not too tight. And I like enough depth to go "balls deep". Guys dont like only being able to fit half of their member in a chick, and Im not super long either. Edited May 11, 2012 by kaylan 1
ascendotum Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Quit being a hater, I was just telling my own opinion... If you didn't like it, then don't... I'm not hating. You are totally entitled to your opinion and other women here might be in agreement with what you said, but you make an insulting remark regarding asian men, based on ?? many asian bfs. I thought it was a fair question to ask why you consider them crap in bed, and maybe they can read 'your opinion' on how to be better. Seems like its small dicks eh.
Emilia Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Maybe size but in general the lack of sex education and lack of understanding of women. Many Asian guys don't do oral sex, Africans don't either. A lot of people are virgins when they get married and have no idea how to communicate about sex. I also think a lot of these guys struggle when they come to the West because we expect more experience from a 27 year-old than he can offer. They can come across like 18 year-olds because they are so inexperienced. I think living in the developing countries where your community and family are put before you can mean that your early socialisation is oppressed compared to how we live in the West. Especially when girls are prized for their virginity. 1
Els Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Geez, OP posts about a date she has with an Asian guy and we deviate immediately to penis sizes? Really? OP, I think White Chocolate is very much on the money there - if he has lived the majority of his life in America, then I think he would be more of an 'American' guy than an 'Asian' guy in most ways. Also, I can't comment on Filipinos, never having dated one, but my experience with 'Asians' vs 'Americans' (very generalized here), has been that: 1) If he is traditional-minded, he will generally not only insist on paying, but also feel affronted if you insist in return. Generally-accepted behaviour back where I come from, for the woman, is simply offering, and then accepting if he insists. Guys there took insistence from a woman as a sign that she wasn't interested. 2) Relatively conservative dress and behaviour is generally preferred in women. Of course, you can and should dress as you want, but the Asian men that I've known have almost invariably excluded women dressed in very revealing clothes as potential partners. 3) It's okay and even polite to ask about his culture a little, but try not to let that dominate the conversation. We want to be seen as people first, men/women second, and Asians third. Have fun! 2
zengirl Posted May 11, 2012 Posted May 11, 2012 Wait, he's half-Filipino and clearly not 1st gen, so I'm assuming he was born in America and is half something else. So, he may or may not identify with Filipino culture at all or to varying degrees. Is there some reason you got the impression his culture was going to impact at all? With people who are halfsies, I find they're basically Americanized. They may be able to also operate in their other culture, but I assume he'd operate with you in an Americanized way, unless given an indication otherwise. "Asian" is a wide swath as folks said. As for this guy, Filipino male culture has a huge amount of machismo of it's own kind (Asian versions of machismo are a bit different), IME. Also a very materialistic socialization --- making money is important, and the guy is expected to not only pay but throw money around basically. Not my type. Filipina women tend to be socialized to be very outgoing and kind of busybodies, but in a really nice way, IME. However, I have not found Filipino Americans really strongly resemble Filipino culture, so I wouldn't have any of those expectations from him. Unlike many Asian countries, the Philippines is not a place for 'conservative' dress, but it is a place with set gender roles. It's also not all that "Asian" feeling a place, IMO, for a place in Asia, because of the Latin aspects of culture. Can he even speak a second language (several languages there)? Has he visited the Philippines?
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